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This made sense and I think is holding alot of people on here back

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Alfaman147, Nov 27, 2016.

  1. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    I am a sucker for obsessing over things and looking on here every day for comfort and help. But I read this article from a very famous TMS therapist and I believe it's true. Many people I ask for help on here are going through the same. They seem to be on here every day asking questions and analysing everything. Here is the quote..
    TMS Support Groups and TMS Help/Message Boards - Dr. Sarno stated that 'information is the penicillin' for TMS. Dr. Sarno had weekly and monthly lectures to help people understand and have CONFIDENCE in TMS. This was prior to the internet age. These lectures worked because they were weekly and monthly. There was time in between for people to reflect and do genuine inner work. I'm sure he never envisioned someone would be online everyday searching, investigating and analyzingTMS. As well-intentioned as these groups and online sites are, they are keeping people Stuck in TMS. They are helping you Avoid and Deny your emotions, they confuse you, create doubt and they keep you searching/analyzing and investigating. They are your distraction.
     
  2. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thinking something "out there" is causing your TMS is part of the TMS personality. If it wasn't online Forums, etc. it would be something else. Recovery comes when we accept that TMS is all in the mind, and change must occur there. The good news is that changing our thoughts is possible. Trying to control everything "out there" is not possible.
     
    Alfaman147 likes this.
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle


    I think this is a brilliant observation, and something worth considering for all Forum participants. My success did not come from this forum except to dip into it once in awhile for support, or information. Then I was by myself, doing the inner work, reading Dr. Sarno "looking for myself on every page" as suggested. I think we've had this discussion here before, about how obsessing about finding the exact right approach or inspiration/support will help us, when in fact it is part of the TMS personality, an unskilled response to anxiety. By (overdoing) looking for answers and new information, we can subtly put the "locus of control" outside ourselves.

    I think the way folks use this Forum is very important, not that they shouldn't use the Forum! I might suggest we are aware of the feeling tone inside us, when we are posting and reading. Are you fueling the fear and perfectionism? Are you looking for answers outside yourself, when you could be doing the more contemplative inner work, as the post suggests? Are you avoiding looking at your life? Avoiding exploring feelings, by keeping yourself in a more familiar feeling tone (even if that familiar feeling might feel stressful)?

    I think sharing questions and successes, reflecting on the Forum about the SEP ---all are very valid ways to engage the Forum on a very regular basis, by the way. It is supportive to be heard, and give support. And I think how we do this is indeed important to success.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2016
  4. Huckleberry

    Huckleberry Well known member

    I'm sure it was Monte who said this.

    I do totally agree...I'm also the worlds worse for constantly investigating and wanting more and more evidence but actually failing to act on the information I've got. I think this is a twofold thing...firstly as has been mentioned I think the analytical nature is a basic part of the TMS personality type and secondly I think there is always that thing of being quite lazy and wanting results without putting in the hard yards...in some ways the often mentioned 'book cure' reinforces or sort of offers this. On another level I often wonder if there is a hidden element of self sabotage as work here are well. I've lost count of the times I've sat down to journal only to talk myself out of it and just ended up googling or whatever...when I've asked myself why I've done this I can never quite put my finger on it but it is almost like there is something inside me steering me away from doing it...go figure hey.

    I think Monte is right when he mentions about the internet etc. Whilst there have always been distractions etc, the internet and search engines really are the highway to hell for TMS type personalities as there is always that golden nugget of truth that will cure us and set us free at the end of the rainbow of the next click. It really is a case of having to be self disciplined enough to recognise that you understand the concept and working of TMS/stress illness/somatisation and then doing the work or even more importantly being comfortable and secure with the level of information you have and relaxing with that knowledge.
     
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Very well put!
     
  6. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    "All of the time on the forum we see people who post questions that are actually answered in books that they have already read. As I see it, in when this happens we can help them by teaching them how to read TMS books better, as described above. We can let them know about how important it is to reread and apply the material to their lives, or perhaps even point them to this post. It is natural and completely human for newcomers to need to be taught how to read a TMS book well."

    Forest's post here

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/section-1-introduction.4628/#post-28646 (Official Thread - Section 1 Introduction)
     
  7. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Good observation!!
     
  8. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    I suffer from levator ani syndrome and im a hypochondriac. I tend to over use the Internet. I have seen doctors and they have assured me what is wrong but I can't seem to stop obsessing. I can stay off the Internet and try and carry on and I will be feeling pretty good. My pain will ease off alot. But then I have another anxiety symptom like a bad stomach and it puts me back onto the internet googling why why why. I know it's the wrong thing to do. I have no deep seated emotion. I'm just a hypochondriac and a huge worrier.
     
  9. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    I suffer from levator ani syndrome and im a hypochondriac. I tend to over use the Internet. I have seen doctors and they have assured me what is wrong but I can't seem to stop obsessing. I can stay off the Internet and try and carry on and I will be feeling pretty good. My pain will ease off alot. But then I have another anxiety symptom like a bad stomach and it puts me back onto the internet googling why why why. I know it's the wrong thing to do. I have no deep seated emotion. I'm just a hypochondriac and a huge worrier.
     
  10. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    I need to get out of my head more I think. Stop over thinking things
     
  11. Huckleberry

    Huckleberry Well known member


    I am the same. I have had health anxiety for getting on for 10 years and whilst I have periods of stability it is always there waiting to be set off by whatever new symptom pops up.

    I think that the bottom line is that health anxiety/hypochondria are driven by the inability to live with any degree of uncertainty. From my perspective this applies to every element of my life and not just my health...it is actually at the point where I would rather have bad news than nn news at all as at least it would remove that uncertainty, crazy and illogical but true. I think that over-use of the internet is just that we are trying to hunt for certainty when in reality we can never have it.
     
    juderocketqueen, Ellen and pspa like this.
  12. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    Very true. I beat this problem last out by carrying on. I had the pain but did not obsess or Google. It eventually faded away. I have been told it's a stress illness. Some say proctalgia or pelvic floor tension
     
  13. pspa

    pspa Well known member

    Yup. As one of my gurus says OCD is a disorder of doubt.
     
  14. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    Just this levator ani syndrome or proctalgia as my doc calls it is a right pain in the ass haha. I can feel the tense muscles. Yet when I go to bed and get relaxed it eases off.
     
  15. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    There's a difference between asking for help and giving help. BTW, SteveO has mentioned that OCD'ing on TMS message boards is another TMS distraction.
     
  16. Huckleberry

    Huckleberry Well known member

    lol, interestingly I think that there is a lot of truth of the idea of 'organ language'...these phrase didn't just appear out of nowhere.

    This is a review of a book I read about your condition but it is relevant for all mind-body illness really...recommended reading.

    https://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/jun/20/teach-us-to-sit-still (Teach Us to Sit Still | Book review)
     
  17. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    It's been known for centuries that everything is good in moderation. Being concerned with one's health is good, but in moderation.

    Obsession of any kind with anything - money, symptoms, world problems, exercise, your spouse's bad habits - is not healthy. How to get out of obsession without replacing it with another obsession - is a million dollar question. I do think that for the TMS-ers, change is not possible without acknowledging that we have obsessive tendencies and modifying our behavior to clear our minds from obsession through meditation, mindfulness or journaling - whatever works.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2016
    Tennis Tom likes this.
  18. Alfaman147

    Alfaman147 Well known member

    I'm such an idiot. I had a thought of rectal prolapse and then panicked haha. A rectal prolapse doesn't just dissappear while your asleep haha or drunk even
     

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