OK, I've posted a few times for support in these forums, I guess I'm seeking reassurance and that's not good... But on the same time it feels nice to share with others going or having gone through the same things, so... After experiencing a 1-week book cure for sciatica almost a year ago now, I became active again and felt like everything was possible. I still had IBS stuff and vulvodynia, but I was so full of hope and enthusiasm ! I took up climbing, hiking, running... The knee pain I've had for years after 15 minutes of running went away when I got mad at my brain for playing this old trick again. I felt really empowered. Then during last summer I started to have some flare-ups and it still hasn't stopped as of today. This week-end I hiked 40 km with pain in my low back and right leg. I'm proud to have done it anyway, but it's sooo frustrating. I talked to my friends and family about this TMS stuff and how good I felt, and now look at me. Same old thing again. Vulvodynia is worse too (I'm actually taking Lorraine Faehndrich' program for female pain, so we'll see). Only thing better is IBS but it's clearly because I stopped trying to be a vegetarian and started eating more protein and fats and less fiber, which irritates my gut. I don't know, I guess I'm just ranting there but this is so hard. It was like I had my life back after so many years and then it was taken away from me, it makes me want to cry. Doubts are creeping up more and more as a result, the structural diagnoses I received from doctors and osteopaths linger in the back of my mind (one leg shorter than the other, scoliosis... you know the drill). It's hard to describe but it's like I'm on the verge of turning this whole thing around, of finally being able to live my life as I was intended to, free from all the fear, the self-hate, the OCD... and then I don't. I don't know what more I can do. I had psychotherapy for some months, it helped a lot but I've stopped now as I didn't seem to get anything more in my last sessions. I try and ignore the pain, go on with my life, read some TMS stuff but not too much so as not to obsess over it. I'm fed up.