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This is a TMS rage reaction isn't it?!

Discussion in 'Alan Gordon TMS Recovery Program' started by oozeworthypayana, Dec 22, 2014.

  1. oozeworthypayana

    oozeworthypayana New Member

    Hi there, I haven't been on here for a couple of months. some of you may remember that after years of pain with legs, back, buttocks, I discovered Sarno's book and was gradually 80% better. I could do my beloved running as much as I wanted and have ran four half marathons since September! My symptoms became marginal and manageable.

    On wednesday - my 15 year old daughter's school called me to say that they KNEW and had SEEN many scars to show that she was self harming and been doing so for some time. It was like being punched and I was alone in the house trying to deal with it. I talked to my husband and mother and we convinced each other that it couldn't be true, she is not unhappy, she wears short sleeves and I still see her in the shower! Still - I had to wait until 4.30 when she got home to sort things out. She came home and as I knew in my heart - there was not a mark on her! She was devastated that the school had said that and we sobbed together.

    The next day the teacher called me as I had demanded he did and said 'sorry - they were marks from her bracelets'!!!! I was so furious and I put in an official complaint. The head called me and we saw her the next morning when she apologised unreservedly and said that the school in no way followed procedure and she was deeply sorry for the distress caused.

    The reason that I am telling all the detail is that I just can't get past it in my head, I am having anxiety dreams, keep seeing her cutting herself in my mind and feel so awful that I counted her even for a moment. I have had a huge reoccurrence of my symptoms! This is NOT a coincidence is it? I am scared to go for a run but think I must to prove to myself that this is TMS!

    Thanks for listening and peace to you all.
  2. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    What an awful thing to have happen! Your anger is completely understandable and justified, and I don't believe it is a coincidence that you have had a resurgence in your TMS symptoms. However, my understanding is that the rage that triggers TMS is unconscious, so I suggest trying to find what deeper emotions this terrible incident has triggered, and why it has stirred up so much anxiety. You know your daughter is happy and safe now, so why are you unable to put the incident behind you? I think you will find some important answers for yourself in your exploration of this.

    Hoping your symptoms decline and you can get back to running soon. Wishing you the best.....
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi x,
    I think you have hit the nail on the head, and that this is no coincidence. You have been very upset. There is almost a sense of trauma about your post. You are powerfully effected! Doing some journaling, being there for yourself in your anger, allowing your upset feelings, with mindfullness, may allow you to connect the dots more fully as Ellen suggests.

    Try to be loving with yourself and gently inquire. You seem to have written yourself the answer to your question!!

  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Friends and I hug each other. It feels great.
    If one is around to hug you, hug yourself.

    I think a hug feels even better than a kiss.
    The combination is fantastic!

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