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Things are getting real

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Boston Redsox, Aug 9, 2016.

  1. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    You all know that I have been going threw a lot of pain during by 2 year separation from my wife and now that I family home as been sold ...I feel terribly inside that this as come to be...She does not give a SHIT about it but I am having terrible anxiety and of course pain is at a high level..
    Know to add more stress is to find a home for me and my children as there mother takes off to find a new life and on top of it all we had our final divorce meeting and I need to pay a substantial amount of alimony which I find so bad ...how can they do this to a father is beyond me on top of her taking half my net worth ...I hate to use this term but I feel RAPED ...I am trying not to hate but it's very difficult almost went to emergency with very high pain level but decided to stay home an d faint with it..
    I have not posted awhile but I have not experienced any relief from TMS and its beliefs ...I know this is fear talking and doubt. But it would nice to be able to see a light somewhere ..thx you for listening to my rant

    Marco
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2016
  2. Huckleberry

    Huckleberry Well known member

    Dude...all I can say is that one of my mates had a similar scenario going on with his wife. They split up and he was having awful trouble getting to see his kids. His wife ended up quite financially secure whilst he was pretty shafted money wise...I think what made matters worse for him was that he wife moved on with a new relationship really quickly and it was like her life had ended up perfect whilst he had hit the bottom. He did hit a pretty dark place and as most of his friends were also his wife's friends it also meant he had little support.

    The upsides to this is that I hadn't seen this guy for about 6 months and I was out hiking in popular spot about 2 weeks ago and bumped into him...he was with a new partner who seemed lovely and he also had got himself a dog to take out walking. We spoke for a while and I was Struck by just how much better he was...he had become very bitter about the situation but all that seemed to have subsided as he was so happy with his current situation.

    I suppose the thing is he had to go through a period of real shitty times but he has pulled through it and seemed to come out of it actually happier and more settled that he was previously. I don't think any of us know what is around the corner and what adversity may bring us in the longer term.
     
    tgirl and plum like this.
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Well that's sounds great....but for me it seems to be a deeper hole of pain and grief but I have accepted this ...and I know I have to move on ..my pain is really unbearable at times with no relief from the medical community or from TMS ....I am in a very dark place and I just need someone to shed some light in
     
  4. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    Marco, I am sorry you are feeling so low. You won't continue to feel this low. At some point things will get better and you will remember this time in your life as something in your past- something to learn from.

    The financial thing is awful. It probably feels so unfair. :(( I think you said you were staying at a family member's place. Will you be moving out of there with your kids?

    Things will get better- they will!
     
  5. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx Debbie

    Yes I will be it's very hard to find a home I can afford here in Boston with the strain of alimony every week it's going to be a challenge indeed.
    I am trying not to fall back into the worm hole again ...but my pain as been a challenge every day ... I am trying to be thank ful for what I can do but god it's such a strain on your will
     
  6. tgirl

    tgirl Well known member

    I know how difficult it can be. I think many of on this site have hit lows. It really can drain a person. Marco, can you reach out to anyone? Friends, family.... Take everything one day at a time.. And things will get better. Debbie
     
  7. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    I can and do ....but God can it be exhausting want to reach for a bottle or a pill but I know that's not the answer
     
  8. TimmyH

    TimmyH Peer Supporter

    Marco sounds like your in a horrible spot brother. Having the pressure of a marriage break up along with the financial pressures, anyone would be in pain and struggling. Just know that you have the huge benefit of knowing exactly what is happening to you. This means that you know exactly how to beat it. You just have to put your head down, ride out the storm of this period in your life. Do whatever it takes to get through these fresh sores and try to just focus on just one positive thing in your life, whether that be your kids or a hobby. Something that distracts you from the pain for even a second. Slowly brick by brick you will rebuild.

    Just remember that the most beautiful people in the world have known pain and loss and come through the other side to enjoy life's beauty.

    You'll get there mate.
     
    Mad, tgirl, plum and 2 others like this.
  9. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Tim

    Thx for the kind words of wisdom ... It's exactly what I am doing ...self care !!
     

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