I have become convinced lately that my main problem now is fear--fear of the pain. I have really been struggling with this lately, and wondering if it really is my main problem, or if there is something else going on. Last night I happened to read Marc Sopher's contribution to The Divided Mind, in which he says that he believes that fear is what causes some people to take so long in recovering. I really liked his whole section and after I finished reading it I ordered his book. There was something about it that spoke to me. I've also been thinking about a post that Balto made on tmshelp. He said you should decide to live completely without fear for one week. One week! That just seemed so daunting. I despaired of ever being able to do it. Today I had an idea. It's always during my fifth period class (11:11-11:52am) that I start experiencing the kind of pain that makes me fearful. So today I decided I wasn't going to feel fear for those 41 minutes. Just one period of no fear. So when the pain started I accepted it, said, yes, there you are, let the feeling of fear wash over me, and then I just continued with class. Amazingly, when class ended I wasn't feeling any worse and felt a bit better. So I decided to continue to practice. I practiced 6th (easy, because I'm free), 7th, 8th, and 9th periods. Still less pain than usual. Practiced staying on my feet even when I felt the pain (usually I sit down). The fear kicked in again later on, but I'm going to continue this practice of letting go of fear every day during 5th period. Then I can continue to practice as the day goes on, without forcing myself to do so. Practice, don't test, says Claire Weekes. So I practice.