Hello! I'm starting my second TPP soon. In the first one, I basically came face to face with a core issue that all my issues stem from. All the struggles I've had are just byproducts of the core challenge that I had pushed into my subconscious for the most part so that I could believe I was over this. My core problem is a rather severe lack of self-acceptance. I decided to face this by writing down all the things I'm not accepting about myself that wish were different and they filled up 6 pages single spaced! Now I don't know how exactly to proceed. I really want to accept myself but I also realize that I actually don't know what it means to accept myself. Is it the same as liking myself? It doesn't seem to be because there are things I for sure like about myself but all the things I don't like occupy my subconscious and manifest through problematic attitudes and behaviors such as superiority/inferiority complexes. I want to learn to live with myself in peace. Please give me your thoughts on this, thank you!
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The Presence Process - Share Experiences & Ask Questions
- Thread starter BrianC
- Start date
Hello All,
It's been a long time since i've been on the TMS wiki site. Have continued my struggle with pelvic pain. Nonetheless, I digress...
I had spent the last two months going through Transformational Breathwork sessions with a local facilitator - who in turn introduced me to the Presence Process with MB himself suggests is a good addition to his book.
Upon those two months, I cried and sobbed simply every day. No matter what the cause (be it a song, a thought, a memory), everything it seemed made me cry.
Long story short, I'm finishing up week two of my first round of the Presence Process. Symptoms have increased (which is normal), with old pains coming back (again, normal). Funnily enough, I had quit smoking for about 4 months prior to starting this. Within the first week I had picked that up again (I'm guessing due to the unresolved emotional charge, the quit that I had most recently undergone wasn't AUTHENTIC enough). I'm trying to not identify myself though as a Smoker anymore, simply "Presence who is experiencing the act of smoking"
Funnily...now that I've started this, I haven't cried once. Not a tear. Not even a knee-jerk reaction. It's as if I've become dead on the inside. I'm diligent in my practice, some days I even do three breathing sessions. However knowing that any experience within TPP is considered valid, I almost feel as though these examples I've laid out have me moving BACKWARDS instead of FORWARDS. Or Upwards and Onwards, as it were...
Any insights would be great. Thanks
It's been a long time since i've been on the TMS wiki site. Have continued my struggle with pelvic pain. Nonetheless, I digress...
I had spent the last two months going through Transformational Breathwork sessions with a local facilitator - who in turn introduced me to the Presence Process with MB himself suggests is a good addition to his book.
Upon those two months, I cried and sobbed simply every day. No matter what the cause (be it a song, a thought, a memory), everything it seemed made me cry.
Long story short, I'm finishing up week two of my first round of the Presence Process. Symptoms have increased (which is normal), with old pains coming back (again, normal). Funnily enough, I had quit smoking for about 4 months prior to starting this. Within the first week I had picked that up again (I'm guessing due to the unresolved emotional charge, the quit that I had most recently undergone wasn't AUTHENTIC enough). I'm trying to not identify myself though as a Smoker anymore, simply "Presence who is experiencing the act of smoking"
Funnily...now that I've started this, I haven't cried once. Not a tear. Not even a knee-jerk reaction. It's as if I've become dead on the inside. I'm diligent in my practice, some days I even do three breathing sessions. However knowing that any experience within TPP is considered valid, I almost feel as though these examples I've laid out have me moving BACKWARDS instead of FORWARDS. Or Upwards and Onwards, as it were...
Any insights would be great. Thanks
BrianC
Well known member
Hi PPSo,
Everyone has that same issue of not accepting their self. All problems come from that. Liking yourself is the same as accepting yourself. Can you imagine the unconditionally-loving Creator coming to you and saying, "I accept you just as you are, but I really don't like you."? That doesn't make any sense does it? Makes it insincere, right?
The only reason a person would not like their self is because they believe in right and wrong, good and bad--judgments by a standard. One must come to the realization that
Sure, there are loving actions and unloving actions, but not good and bad or right and wrong. The Ancient Hebrews of Abraham's time didn't have a concept of good and bad or right and wrong (the Bible's not translated well in that respect). They accepted instead, because punishment repressed and comes from fear, but love allows expression and integration--true healing. In the Bible, the word judgment and punishment are poorly translated. They both mean pruning, which is a helpful, loving thing. That's what we're shooting for--no standard of judgment, just unconditional love. That's why Jesup said not to judge, and it's why the Bible says twice, "All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial." Those statements remove all of our standards of judgment, all right and wrong, good and bad. They give us freedom. So the truth really will set us free. (I'm not getting religious on you...I don't like religion much, but the Bible itself has a lot of good insight and wisdom, and a lot of people know it and can relate to it)
Also, if there's no standard of judgment, there's no such thing as "worth." It means everyone and everything is equal. If one derives their sense of self-worth from how they think God feels about them due to what they believe about His standard of judgment, they'really missing one important key--if He's unconditionally-loving, then He has chosen to love everything, no matter what. It has nothing to do with what they're like. It has everything to do with His choice to accept and love all.
We're His/Its kids, which means we're just like Him at our core--we just don't remember that. So TPP is all about removing the judgments we've picked up through our life so we can let our own natural unconditional love shine through. We don't learn to love...we realize that our judgments are causing the problem and drop it, then the unconditional love comes through naturally.
This is a really hard concept for people to accept, because they derive so much of their self-acceptance from judgment, and vice-versa. Also, since so many people believe it and treat everyone that way, it's ingrained in us. But that single concept is the most healing thing we can believe deep down. In the East, ifyou ask a mystic what love is, he'll say, "Drop all your judgments, all of your opinions, and you will know." (Judgments and opinions are the same thing, basically, because they determine right and wrong)
What I do is teach this to each dysfunctioning emotional resonance that arises as if it's a little child. Once it understands this, it'll integrate. Each one is a part of my heart that's dysfunctioning due to fear (aka - ego). I've healed so much using this concept. I have to embrace everything about myself without trying to get rid of any of it. I tell the emotional resonances that they can stay as long as they want and feel whatever they need to feel.
Because God is so much more mature and loving than us, I believe He sees us like 2-yr-old kids who don't understand what they're doing and know next to nothing about life. When my son was 2, I saw that nothing was his fault, because he ddidn't really understand what he was doing. He was just feeling out life, just like we are. That's how God sees us. There's so little we really know for sure in this life. He understands that and doesn't mind. In fact, He wants it that way, because our dysfunctions are how we learn in life. And once we embrace our dysfunctions, life becomes so much more peaceful and fun and interesting.
Does that make sense?
BrianC
Well known member
Joel,
Sounds like you're making progress if all of that stuff's happening. My guess, though, is that some part of you is desperately scared of feeling certain emotions, so it's got you locked down emotionally because you started TPP. It's scared of what could be dredged up.
Every time I started a PP, my emotions would shut down at first, as if bracing for impact. But eventually, I'd start feeling things and integrating things. As long as you feel TPP give you every tool to deal with any and every motion that surfaces, your heart will start to allow things to surface. My guess is that the smoking and additional pain are being caused by your repressing everything right now. But keep going and you'll break through that wall. It may take a week or may take a year. Who knows. But keep at it. You'll be glad you did. The bath sessions really bring things to the surface. I used to really enjoy them.
Hope that helps. Good luck, and I look forward to hearing about your experiences with TPP.
Sounds like you're making progress if all of that stuff's happening. My guess, though, is that some part of you is desperately scared of feeling certain emotions, so it's got you locked down emotionally because you started TPP. It's scared of what could be dredged up.
Every time I started a PP, my emotions would shut down at first, as if bracing for impact. But eventually, I'd start feeling things and integrating things. As long as you feel TPP give you every tool to deal with any and every motion that surfaces, your heart will start to allow things to surface. My guess is that the smoking and additional pain are being caused by your repressing everything right now. But keep going and you'll break through that wall. It may take a week or may take a year. Who knows. But keep at it. You'll be glad you did. The bath sessions really bring things to the surface. I used to really enjoy them.
Hope that helps. Good luck, and I look forward to hearing about your experiences with TPP.
Hi Brian,
Went on holiday and started week 7 of my first TTP had a few days where my whole body hurt later on after the breathing session and the symptoms I used to get when drinking came back (acid reflux, hard stomach and ulcers).
This is the most extreme of the feelings so far is this normal?
Thanks Steve
BrianC
Well known member
Stephen,
Yes and yes.
The feelings coming up are causing the physical pains ad ailments. They've been repressed from a while, but now you're finall getting the chance to integrate them.
And as you said, you just feel them and appreciate them for what they are: teachers, helpers. They're helping you mature your heart, which is why we're all here.
My method allows a person to integrate things whenever the get triggered and show symptoms, but I don't really teach people my method until they've done a couple of PPs and I can see that they aren't just trying to escape their pain. Once they've learned to accept their pain and let it be, with no rush to get rid of it, then I don't mind teaching them my method. It's more important to learn to feel one's emotions and accept pain their pain than it is to get rid of the pain. One reason I'm hesitant to write a book describing my method is because a lot of people will likely skip the PP method and go straight to my method trying to get rid of their pain. That doesn't necessarily benefit them much, though, and kind of skips the emotional learning needed. My method won't work nearly as well unless someone does something like TPP first.
That's great that you're feeling what you're feeling. Thanks means the process is working well for you. Stick with it and feel it all. For me, I imagine that suffering part of me is a child, and I talk to it. I tell it how great a job it's done protecting me, and how wonderful it is. I tell it how it'll be so much more happy and even more helpful when it integrates. I tell it it can stay however long it likes and feel whatever it needs to feel, because I love it unconditionally. Once I've felt it sufficently, if I learn why it's in emotional distress (by using my method), I'll then correct its belief that's causing it to stay in pain. Once I correct the belief, it integrates. The belief if what holds it in place. That's why TPP spends so much time on beliefs and the mechanics of the process.
Hope some of that is helpful. Good luck!
Yes and yes.
The feelings coming up are causing the physical pains ad ailments. They've been repressed from a while, but now you're finall getting the chance to integrate them.
And as you said, you just feel them and appreciate them for what they are: teachers, helpers. They're helping you mature your heart, which is why we're all here.
My method allows a person to integrate things whenever the get triggered and show symptoms, but I don't really teach people my method until they've done a couple of PPs and I can see that they aren't just trying to escape their pain. Once they've learned to accept their pain and let it be, with no rush to get rid of it, then I don't mind teaching them my method. It's more important to learn to feel one's emotions and accept pain their pain than it is to get rid of the pain. One reason I'm hesitant to write a book describing my method is because a lot of people will likely skip the PP method and go straight to my method trying to get rid of their pain. That doesn't necessarily benefit them much, though, and kind of skips the emotional learning needed. My method won't work nearly as well unless someone does something like TPP first.
That's great that you're feeling what you're feeling. Thanks means the process is working well for you. Stick with it and feel it all. For me, I imagine that suffering part of me is a child, and I talk to it. I tell it how great a job it's done protecting me, and how wonderful it is. I tell it how it'll be so much more happy and even more helpful when it integrates. I tell it it can stay however long it likes and feel whatever it needs to feel, because I love it unconditionally. Once I've felt it sufficently, if I learn why it's in emotional distress (by using my method), I'll then correct its belief that's causing it to stay in pain. Once I correct the belief, it integrates. The belief if what holds it in place. That's why TPP spends so much time on beliefs and the mechanics of the process.
Hope some of that is helpful. Good luck!
Thanks Brian I have been in pain for almost a year so far so I am really hopeful this process keeps integrating my repressed emotions and reducing my symptoms over time. I am trying to feel the pain and talk to it and tell it I "feel safe"
Thanks Steve
BrianC
Well known member
Just look at the pain as progress. You've repressed it for years and years, so every day you feel it, you're making progress. That's exciting. And don't forget to ask, "How does this feel on the emotional and felt resonance levels?" Or, "How the repressed emotions feel that are causing these pains?" Then feel into you body, looking for it. Remember that you're increasing your ability to feel into your body by being present and more aware of it. If you don't want to feel your pain, you're resisting feeling it rather than feeling into it, and therefore rejecting it. TPP won't work as long as you're actively rejecting the pain.
Thanks Brian this is really helping me I try not to take painkillers any more so I can feel the pain.
Quick question and sorry for keep asking, I find it difficult to pin point what I actually feel when the pain comes, I know I don't like to lose things (after my father left when I was 9) but its hard for me to what my repressed emotions actually are
Thanks Steve
BrianC
Well known member
Stephen,
Ask as many questions as you like. That's what the forum is for.
Remember that with TPP, it's better not to name/identify the feeling, because it can cause is to get sidetracked and try to correct the problem with the mind. Instead, we just memorize how it feels as best we can, and keep feeling it. Makes it really easy.
Ask as many questions as you like. That's what the forum is for.
Remember that with TPP, it's better not to name/identify the feeling, because it can cause is to get sidetracked and try to correct the problem with the mind. Instead, we just memorize how it feels as best we can, and keep feeling it. Makes it really easy.
