The power of forgiveness

[North Star]

Hug received! And hug given! My heart is full of gratitude for you all too.

I didn't see that thread yet….but guess what, I'm already reading the book on my Kindle! It's wonderful. I can hear Herbie soft drawl talking to me…doesn't get any better than that! Well, actually, it probably will because after I hear YOUR voice tonight, Walt, I'll hear you in the written words too.

I'll have to go check out that thread.

 

[North Star]

Lily Rose…what a great prompt you've given me. What would I tell you…first thing I would tell you is: Everything is going to be all right. You're not alone.

Those thoughts will jar me from my self-focused and onto the people I wish to serve. THANK YOU

I will take my journey down memory lane very slowly. I love your word picture of the ocean being dark and deep. That is sort of how it feels.

 

[Lily Rose]

Let's have a three-way hug, North Star and Lily Rose.
I'm hugging right now and Annie is jumping up on me to get in on it.

Annie! *cups her beautiful, sweet face and kisses her forehead, and follows with a good scratching at the tail-junction* ^_^ Very much the warm hugs.

Sweetness on the book!

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

[Lily Rose]

Lily Rose…what a great prompt you've given me. What would I tell you…first thing I would tell you is: Everything is going to be all right. You're not alone.

Those thoughts will jar me from my self-focused and onto the people I wish to serve. THANK YOU

I will take my journey down memory lane very slowly. I love your word picture of the ocean being dark and deep. That is sort of how it feels.

We are miniatures of the Earth. The oceans are our depths. Mysterious, beautiful, frightening, deadly, and absolutely imperative to all life as we know it.

I am glad the prompt was helpful *invokes a child-like curtsy* We aim to serve.

I read another passage in the Forgiveness book (by Gerald Jampolsky, MD): Forgiveness is letting go of all hopes for a better past.

That passage was exquisitely painful to process. The death of hope ... how did I dare imagine differently, though? The secret passages of my mind .. indeed.

with grace and gratitude,
^_^

 

[North Star]

I really like that…"Forgiveness is letting go of all hopes for a better past." The past ain't gonna change!

But WE can.

 

[Ellen]

My other idea on my walk was to write a letter to my younger self. I almost started bawling on my walk realizing some things and know I need to follow up with those thoughts. I've weathered a lot of pain as a child and instead of mourning, I did the old "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" routine. Part of that strategy is to be sure to put down yourself so you can beat anyone else to the punch. A strange form of control, me thinks. One of the destructive forms of "entertainment" was all of us kids would sit around the living room and just ridicule one another as some sort of a sick game. My parents were never around so the Lord of the Flies environment took over more times than I care to count.

Oh, yes, North Star, I grew up with this same destructive game. I was the youngest so for awhile I got most of the ridicule. Then I learned the rules of the game. The first is to never, ever show that any remark has hurt you. The second rule is to stay ahead of the game by making fun of yourself about any possible vulnerability so it's no fun for the others. The third is to dish it out just as well as the others so they become a little afraid of you. The fourth rule is if anyone looks hurt, to just say "I was just kidding." We thought we were really funny. I, too, had absent parents and my only role models for family life was TV. And of course sitcoms do this same kind of thing non-stop.

Oh, my, lots of old wounds here. Better get out the journal. I like the idea of a letter to my young self. And back to the idea of forgiveness--I need to forgive myself for my role in it all.

Yes, you all and this Forum are wonderful.

 

[North Star]

Ellen…are we related? I was the youngest of seven kids and holy smokes! I got picked on. Looks like we played by the same rule book too.

I was shocked, SHOCKED, when I moved far away from home to school and started attending a church where I saw HEALTHY families. The Brady Bunch held nothing over the loving parents I saw. I remember wishing I could turn back the clock a few years and join one of those families.

Thankfully, I did have some loving parent figures that sort of took me under their wings while I was a student.

And oh yeah. Forgiving myself for the cruelty I inflicted on my siblings. My poor brother ended up living a life on the streets. That's part of why I'm so passionate about helping parents. He had ADHD and never got the help and encouragement he needed. (Granted this was in the dark ages of special needs.) When he passed a few years ago at the age of 46, I was beyond devastated. I had to release all that guilt…

Phew. What a trip, this life!