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"The Minor Fall, and the Major Lift": A Cellist’s Complete Recovery from Tendonitis after Six Years

Discussion in 'Success Stories Subforum' started by fifthsuite, Jan 1, 2022.

  1. fifthsuite

    fifthsuite Peer Supporter

    One of Maisky's great strengths is his ability to pull some incredibly improbable fingerings and bowings. What I never noticed as a kid - and what's not as evident without video - is his propensity to reinterpret Bach's musical suggestions - and make them sound right. For example, the Gigue of the Fourth Suite - he plays much of the opening in the middle of the low strings! Who else does that!? Even the most earnest romantic might blush to use the cello's throatiest, most bass-like register for Bach. Witness him unabashedly bellow the prayer that is the Fifth's Suite's Sarabande, probably the single most revered movement in the entire cello literature. How about the First Suite, where he slurs a figure that almost everyone else would play as 3+1? But again - his emotional gravity makes it right.

    Keep listening to the Wispelwey. One day you will understand it.
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2022
    TG957 likes this.
  2. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    stuck car = persistent TMS pain

    Attached Files:

  3. fifthsuite

    fifthsuite Peer Supporter

    @mbo What a great graphic. I found myself suppressing a lot of anger over the last two days. My neighbor loves his subwoofer, and my wall likes to dance along to his 6-hour-a-day (I'm not kidding) soundtrack of war movies, Marvel Cinematic Universe, and football. Sometimes I can't hear myself when I'm playing cello (and I play very loud). I've been watching my feelings fight each other. My superego and ego are so powerful that I can tell myself to forgive all day, but nonetheless what I really want to do - to put it politely - and take down the wall between us and re-enact one of those war movies he's so fond of. There probably wouldn't be as much bass, though.

    Anyways, my work on knowing my rage continues. Just wanted to point out that you can fully recover from your symptoms but still have unprocessed emotions.
  4. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    Yet one more visual metaphor about TMS pain.

    rage --> danger --> pain.jpeg

    Please don't forget:
    pain comes from danger, danger comes from (unnaceptable, menacing, unbearable, embarrassing, unconscious, unfelt) RAGE
    TG957 likes this.
  5. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    and .....
  6. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    Hi fifthsuite, congrats for your recovery..... and enjoy !
    fifthsuite likes this.
  7. Rainstorm B

    Rainstorm B Peer Supporter

    Thank you for writing such a beautiful, feeling provoking and hopeful success story. Much here to savour as I prepare to dive headlong back into the necessary work after too long chasing phantoms. Again...
    Being able to really feel music the way I used to when I listen is something I so long for.

    Congratulations on your hard-won recovery and thanks again for so eloquently sharing your journey.
  8. fifthsuite

    fifthsuite Peer Supporter

    Thank you! I am glad you were able to connect with my story. I feel that - I'd done the work, then left it, and that left a window for the old doubts to start creeping in. Every week, that window got a little bigger, and then I was back in Sarnoland again. I always remember that whatever long-term regimen we choose - journaling, movement, meditation, etc. - is not really about releasing pain so much as it is about loving and freeing ourselves.
    Rainstorm B likes this.
  9. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is very true.

    As someone who has been mostly pain-free for 4 years, I can testify that we can't walk away from who we are, and it is who we are that got us in pain in the first place. I get into my old way of thinking and feeling every now and then, and symptoms catch up with me, very mildly at start, but then they start growing if left unattended.

    It takes effort to maintain oneself in a happy state. Being able to find our true selves, free, brave and loved, takes work and constant reminders about who we truly are underneath the traumas of later life.
    Balsa11 likes this.
  10. fifthsuite

    fifthsuite Peer Supporter

    @TG957 When I was younger, I was happy. My happiness was deep, yet naïve and uncomplicated.

    I grew up. Others hurt me, and I hurt myself. I blamed the world for making me unhappy.

    If only I could go back to the place I was before. I was so pure and beautiful.

    Why did things have to change? Being happy didn't use to be work.


    But there is no past, and there is no future. We are only here now. Now is a long time.

    There is no objective world, no reality that we can truly know and feel except the one we are always creating or disturbing by observing it.

    Measure a particle's momentum, and its position is less certain, and vice versa.


    We have the power to integrate anything into our profound, loving experience of this fragile and remarkable world.

    My belief makes this true for me.

    Believing something beautiful in a complicated world means we will sometimes be let down.

    Better than believing in the abyss and always being right.


    Pain is another reminder, not only that I have some deep feeling to spend loving time with, but also that I am alive.

    The only way not to feel pain is not to live.

    I am resolved to live while I am alive.
    LaughingKat, Rainstorm B and Balsa11 like this.
  11. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    I can't handle the pain. I can handle passing discomfort. I failed because the pain. I wallowed and fed poor habits to the point of burned outofragility. I lost years of health, learning, and relationships because of the pain. I want to make the most of every opportunity I have without any wasted energy spent on repression. I just want to be unstoppable and hardy while still being able to feel. Happiness should not have to take more work- unhappiness means more work. TMS means more work instead of time that could have been enjoyed. What's uncertain is uncertainty, but there is no way seeing the beauty in the world means letting yourself down. Find a way to get back up, happier if you can't do it faster. Wiser, but never ok with pain. Try to beat me, TMS, after all you've stolen from me, I will "win"back self-control and self-satisfaction.

    "We have the power to integrate anything into our profound, loving experience of this fragile and remarkable world."

    This is the only power we can rely on for the rest of our lives. It's sad people have to sometimes "lose" the material game of society's approval, from popularity to even money, just to win at life. People shouldn't have to choose between the hedonic treadmill and the abyss of uncertainty, they must forge a way to light, truth, prosperity, and abundance for themselves and their communities.
  12. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Sometimes we spend too much time on the bad stuff and too little on getting exposure to the good stuff. The true self is unearthed again and again after washing off the "dirt" of the mistakes and problems of past experiences.
    TG957 likes this.
  13. Mark1122

    Mark1122 Well known member

    Thanks. THe thing is i get it with all kinds of activity, mobile is probably even worse than pc. And we use mobiles for everything.. I dont know how i can do that for only 5 minutes a day. But i can try with my pc.

    I have been working on myself last 6 months for my 11 year long addictions. So i am finally focusing on other stuff, pain doenst change much in the right way yet. I have been clean 6 months now but its hard because of how i feel. Depressed and in pain, seems the pain causes depression or some kind of vicious circle,
  14. Mark1122

    Mark1122 Well known member

    Yes ive been around here for some years now. I know using isnt an option anymore so lately i think a lot about suicide because im limited and feel tired, painful etc.

    I am working on my psychological problems now as well tho. Pain doesnt get better yet. I am still anxious though my antidepressant covers it somewhat. I do notice my stomach is very bloated still for example. I have tried resuming activity a lot with permanent more pain as result i cant take another round of that, so yeah of course im a bit scared. My neck and trapezius, shoulders crack hardcore as well dont know if thats also TMS?

    Anyway i dont want to hijack this thread thx for some advice, good day.
  15. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Mark, if you can stop worrying about resuming activities and focus on your emotional and psychological problems. And yes, whatever cracks in your body, it is from overtensed muscles. It will all come in time, including pain-free body, just make sure you take care of your depression and anxiety by going to the root cause that brought you here. Good luck, and don't give up!

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