crumbsandcarrots
New Member
TL;DR: now feeling symptoms of disease that I googled. Why did I do this? How can I unplanted these new symptom seeds? You don't need to read further unless you want the background of what a disservice the mind and body can to to each other.
Over the weekend, I did some symptom googling to make sure that I didn't have some wild disease, and really did myself a huge disservice. I won't name it here. Or give too many seed planting symptoms.
I'll say that, I had a puzzling interaction with a Dr about a year ago. Not sure if he was having a bad day, or what was going on... but he freaked out visibly about some of my neuro symptoms. "Oh my god.. oh jeeeeeez." he said. I freaked out also. And asked him if and when I should come back in. And he said "if anything stops working." This reaction came after positive straight leg test, amongst other symptoms. I saw a neurologist next month. And told him the symptoms that had freaked out my one Dr. (I had seen 7 Dr's by then), and he did a straight leg raise and I was not positive. I had discomfort at 60°. The neurologist said "I'm not too concerned." And I told him about my other Dr's reaction. He didn't have much to syay.
Well. Fast forward a year later. My straight leg raise is 90°. For neuro stuff. They look for anything in the 30-70° Range. After 70° slack is taken off the nerve. I don't think there's any neural tension now. It seems to be limited my muscle strain now. Took a lot of nerve flossing and light stretching to get there.
Any who. To finally put myself at ease. I did some major googling to see what could have freaked out my one Dr so bad. I think I found it. Based on some of my Dr's other questions that followed his concerned reaction. Am I able to get an erection? Do I ever poop myself? Can I pee? Etc. I was able to do all of those things. I won't give any power to this disease by naming it. But some of the other stuff did seem to fit with what was going on. I went even further to see youtubes of people affected with this terrible disease. And it's a nightmare. Morophine for life, chronic neuro pain type stuff, sometimes involving paralysis.
Well, upon watching this. I was convinced I have the disease. As much as I went into this thing, as a way to put myself at ease from that freaky Dr visit. And celebrate my 90° range of motion. I was now sweating in fear. This was Sunday. I lost my appetite. My legs started buzzing. I've had leg buzzing throughout this whole thing (over a year). And I've noticed a huge correlation between stress and leg buzzing. But once they start buzzing. It's hard to get them to stop.... no matter how relaxed I become.
Well. This morning I woke up with burning stinging on my arms legs and butt. Which happen to be a major discomfort for the sufererers of the disease I now know about. "Hot poker.... bee stings..." all of these pain word have been echoing in my mind the past few days.
I know anxiety causes these things. Zaps. Burning. Cold zaps. Etc etc etc. but all of those words and odds and symptoms. And coincidences. They've been spiraling and replaying in my mind. It's like "even if I had this disease. What a coincidence that I should start feeling the main pain symptoms the day after learning about it." The good news is that my legs stopped buzzing. But now I'm getting zapped with crazy pain.
Any advice on how to get this new fear out of my system?
Over the weekend, I did some symptom googling to make sure that I didn't have some wild disease, and really did myself a huge disservice. I won't name it here. Or give too many seed planting symptoms.
I'll say that, I had a puzzling interaction with a Dr about a year ago. Not sure if he was having a bad day, or what was going on... but he freaked out visibly about some of my neuro symptoms. "Oh my god.. oh jeeeeeez." he said. I freaked out also. And asked him if and when I should come back in. And he said "if anything stops working." This reaction came after positive straight leg test, amongst other symptoms. I saw a neurologist next month. And told him the symptoms that had freaked out my one Dr. (I had seen 7 Dr's by then), and he did a straight leg raise and I was not positive. I had discomfort at 60°. The neurologist said "I'm not too concerned." And I told him about my other Dr's reaction. He didn't have much to syay.
Well. Fast forward a year later. My straight leg raise is 90°. For neuro stuff. They look for anything in the 30-70° Range. After 70° slack is taken off the nerve. I don't think there's any neural tension now. It seems to be limited my muscle strain now. Took a lot of nerve flossing and light stretching to get there.
Any who. To finally put myself at ease. I did some major googling to see what could have freaked out my one Dr so bad. I think I found it. Based on some of my Dr's other questions that followed his concerned reaction. Am I able to get an erection? Do I ever poop myself? Can I pee? Etc. I was able to do all of those things. I won't give any power to this disease by naming it. But some of the other stuff did seem to fit with what was going on. I went even further to see youtubes of people affected with this terrible disease. And it's a nightmare. Morophine for life, chronic neuro pain type stuff, sometimes involving paralysis.
Well, upon watching this. I was convinced I have the disease. As much as I went into this thing, as a way to put myself at ease from that freaky Dr visit. And celebrate my 90° range of motion. I was now sweating in fear. This was Sunday. I lost my appetite. My legs started buzzing. I've had leg buzzing throughout this whole thing (over a year). And I've noticed a huge correlation between stress and leg buzzing. But once they start buzzing. It's hard to get them to stop.... no matter how relaxed I become.
Well. This morning I woke up with burning stinging on my arms legs and butt. Which happen to be a major discomfort for the sufererers of the disease I now know about. "Hot poker.... bee stings..." all of these pain word have been echoing in my mind the past few days.
I know anxiety causes these things. Zaps. Burning. Cold zaps. Etc etc etc. but all of those words and odds and symptoms. And coincidences. They've been spiraling and replaying in my mind. It's like "even if I had this disease. What a coincidence that I should start feeling the main pain symptoms the day after learning about it." The good news is that my legs stopped buzzing. But now I'm getting zapped with crazy pain.
Any advice on how to get this new fear out of my system?
. It was the strangest thing and the only way I could ever get close to explaining it was like the feeling of high pressure water going through a hose. This lasted on and off for at least 18 months and then the twitching started. During this period I also often had the sensation of one moment feeling like I was sitting in a wet patch with my skin feeling cold and damp and then it feeling almost sun or wind burnt...it would occasionally be red but more often than not the skin would look normal but feel like it was burnt. Don't get me started on the sensation of feeling like I was wearing socks even though I wasn't and the fact that I'd wake up most nights with dead hands and pins and needles...that used to drive me potty.