It feels really good to actually end the SEP on a pain free day. That speaks for itself. I´m proud of myself to have worked through every day and been active on the forum. Even though it took more than 3 months. My biggest realization is that inside I´m a very sensitive and emotional man. Before I was not allowing this since I thought it was weak and a waste of time in my pursuit of efficiency, perfection and strength. Now I´m proud of my emotional and vulnerable side, and realize it´s very human also for men and actually a strength to accept. Side Note I had another realization today while reading. During the SEP I have learned about myself that my father's encouragement and high focus on achievements played a role in making me perfectionistic. What I realized today is that equally influencing is the fact that I was the youngest of three brothers. And I´m not even considering their behavior (which I was focusing on before), just the fact that I was surrounded by older and larger "giants" that outperformed me during my early years simply because they were older. I think this is a big reason for my feeling of inferiority and resulting in the overly need to be perfect and good. I wanted to be as good as them and wanted attention. And it feels good that it is just a simple fact of my very existence that I cannot blame on anyone (except better parenting in the situation, but yeah yeah). I´m sure I will have a lot more realizations as I continue to explore myself and gain knowledge through reading and discussing. Below I have listed a summary of the last 3 months. Work I have done 2 x Multimedia recovery program 3 x TMS recovery program 2 x reading "Healing backpain" 2 x reading "The divided mind" SEP Cried +100 times Rage fantasies (more in the beginning) Screaming into pillow or in car (more in the beginning) A lot of journaling A lot of self compassion and self-soothing in my inner dialogue. Improvements On average -85% pain Around 20 Pain Free days I sleep better I have more energy during the day I have more feelings of joy in everyday life I run 6 miles twice a week without pain. I can carry my kid in my arms over a mile without any pain (13 kg) Amount and severity of arguments with wife is down -75%. Thank you for your support!