The last 3 days.

Just an example of the last 3 days . Can anyone relate to the way the pain is behaving? Any comments would be most helpful. I am doing deep breathing, trying to think about what is worrying me, reading The GPD, ignoring the pain when I can. Every morning when I wake up I have tight sensation in my chest & a sinking feeling of 'Oh no not again'. I don't want to get up Then I self talk & try to get myself going but its hard work.

Day before yesterday Thursday:
Woke up with a heavy head & muscle pain in neck.
Morning routine, breakfast called up people, sat at computer.
Went out for 8 km brisk walk- mainly flat to ignore head. It was 99% relative humidity & was like walking thru water.
Lunch with my sister at the club. Light salad. Dropped her home.
Bit of a rest. Had shower.
Got ready for an evening function. Slight headache started.
Dinner outside. Had a small wine some food. Felt Ok.
Got home, went to the bathroom & urinary burning started.
Did my best to ignore & went to bed. Heavy head.
Slept at around 11pm
Sleep was OK but got up twice feeling very hot & sweaty.

Yesterday Friday.
Again heavy head on waking. Ignored it but felt frustrated.
Yoga for 15 mins & deep breathing.
Went to the toilet & had spasms in my bum after bowel movement(sorry). Very painful. had to lie down for 20 mins.
Went shopping with 2 friends reluctantly & had lunch. Headachy the whole day & got worse by the time I got back at around 6.30. Didn't really enjoy it.
Chatted with hubby & had light dinner. Watched TV & headache increased.
Went to bed early.
Woke up few times during the night feeling sweaty & nauseous.

Today Saturday.
Woke up feeling ugh again with heavy head.
Went to bathroom & urinary burning again which I am ignoring.
Headachy again the whole day so just moped around.
Am constantly tinking about the pain. trying to distract myself but can't.
At around 4pm got fed up so went to do some grocery shopping.
Made a light dinner
Replied to some defamatory posts against Asians made by someone on an animal cruelty organisation.
Bed at 1030pm

Thanks
Mala

 

Hi, Mala. Your days were busy but I didn't see any mention of meditation or reading (TMS books
or inspirational such as the Bible). The TV you watched... was it upbeat or stressful stuff.

Try to get to bed at the same time each night, and relax an hour or two before bed,
to keep your mind calm. If my mind is too active, or I worry about things before bed,
it takes me a while to get to sleep.

 

Hi Mala,
I am so sorry you are going through so much. One thing to consider: are you trying to do anything that you enjoy simply because you enjoy it in spite of the pain? I could be wrong, but from reading your post, I feel like you are working really hard to ignore the pain, which, in a very sneaky kind of way, puts the pain front and center. Does that make sense or at all resonate at all with you? Or am I totally off -base?

I would guess your body is holding a lot of tension - from your head right down through your pelvic floor based on your symptoms. In my experience, fighting the tension tends to just make it worse because then I am giving it too much attention. And all of my TMS pain LOVES attention. Attention just makes my TMS pain stronger.
amy

 

I think tension can be relieved by not thinking of the pain and spend some time meditating
and deep breathing. Try to float in a pleasant state.

 

Hi Mala

Forest gave me some great advice in an earlier thread. "Pain + resistance = suffering".

I know this sounds odd, but try to accept the pain and discomfort as part of the healing process. For a long time I fought my symptoms and tried too hard, just let it be and you'll be surprised how relieved you feel. Just let the "knowing" about TMS do it's work quietly. It's really difficult to put this into words, I hope you get what I mean.

I found listening to Claire Weekes CDs really helpful in just letting go of the obsessive fear of my multitude of symptoms.

Bless you

 

I agree with Mermaid. I felt a lot of frustration during my TMS pain, but this only prolonged my symptoms. Acceptance is very difficult, but essential to recovery.

 

Mala - Mermaid has some wise words of advice - don't ignore the pain. Accept it. At the end of Claire Weekes' audio tape for nervous illness, she says that if she had to summarize the entire book into one word, it would be "ACCEPT." Accept, accept, accept. By doing this, you are neutralizing the brain's attempt to fight you with its distraction of pain.

Something that has helped me quite a bit recently, and I think I posted this in another thread - is that I've been teasing my brain. Kind of letting it know that I'm onto it. So when I have to get out of bed I'll say to myself "So, brain, what do you have in store for me today? Is it gonna be sharp pain? Numbness? Pins and needles? No pain?" And then I get up and I'll feel the tingling in my leg and say "Oh, okay - so it's to be tingling today. That's okay - do your thing for as long as you need to. You're not fooling me." And I just smile and go about my business to the best of my ability.

And the biggest and most helpful affirmation - and I swear I've come leaps and bounds in my healing since reading it from someone on the board (who I need to do a search for an thank later!) - is, "THERE IS NOTHING PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH ME, AND THERE NEVER HAS BEEN." Man - I keep saying this and I can't even tell you how helpful it has been in training my brain to let it go. I know different affirmations work for different people, but this one has been amazing for me.

Hope some of this helps, and hope you feel some relief soon.

 

Walt, Amy, Colly, Mermaid & Tigerlilly.

Thank u all for taking the time to respond. I am truly grateful.

I am reading The Great Pain Deception, taking a few notes but not trying to overdo it. I am also meditating but maybe not regularly, also doing a lot of self talk mainly telling myself that I am healing, that there is nothing wrong physically. I also look at what might be bothering me emotionally. I listen to some classical music at night & do some deep breathing before I sleep.


Intellectually I guess you could say that I understand the difference between doing something while ignoring the pain & doing something while accepting the pain. Ignoring has a kind of negative connotation whereas acceptance is maybe more positive for the soul. I think the way I have been seeing it is that 'I have accepted therefore I ignore'.

Doesn't Sarno say to ignore the pain? Didn't SteveO stubbornly ignore the pain in order to resume siting? He even asked his wife to hit him with a stick to get the message thru. There are many others here on this forum and on the other TMSforum who have recovered by treating the pain with disdain & just getting on with it. So every morning when I get up I tell myself I'm Ok. When the pain starts I ignore it /accept it to the best of my ability & get on with my day. Some days its easier & some days not so.

I do fight not taking even panadol. I don't know why but perhaps it my perfectionist tendency. Sometimes it backfires.

I guess what I am saying is that its a bit confusing or am I just confused.

Regards

mala

 

Yes, Steve ignored his pain and went ahead and played golf despite the pain.
He did it the tough, hard way, and I don't suggest being too physical.
As Dr. Sarno says, resume normal activity (that means housework, going to work,
etc.) You probably will feel pain doing those things, but chalk it up to TMS repressed
emotions and/or a perfectionist or "goodist" personality.

 

Hi Mala

I agree that all the TMS advice can sometimes be a bit confusing. One size does not fit all when it comes to healing. I didn't find "fighting" worked for me either, it just made me more tense. It's all a bit hit and miss before you find exactly what works best for you.

Don't punish yourself, if you are in too much pain take an painkiller. I had an awful time with medications, but still took an occasional painkiller if I felt I really needed it.

You're aiming at losing the fear thoughts you have when in pain, to lessen the tension thus breaking the cycle. I found the best way to do this was to think of it like a painful bruise or some other minor injury, I wouldn't be afraid of that type of pain or discomfort so why obsess about TMS pain. I tried to think "wow that hurt's, but it's nothing and will be gone soon." With enough practice your brain get used to thinking that way and plays the game.

You're right that ignoring and accepting are two different things entirely. With acceptance you don't let fear come into the picture. That really is the key to healing - lose the fear - lose the pain, sounds too simple but it's only your fear of the pain keeping it alive. Once you start to calm your nervous system down, healing came begin to take place.

Just keep going and be kind and gentle with yourself.

Much love & blessings

 

I agree that if the pain is strong, take a pain killer, just keep reminding yourself it's a temporary relief
and the real permanent relief comes from TMS work.