Day 22 The Fear, and how to get over it

[cool_change]

There was a line in today's readings: "Overcoming the fear and anxiety attributed to your symptoms is the key to recovery."

I know this is true, and yet this is by far the biggest challenge for me. I've gained so much from adjusting my thinking around my pain through TMS, but if I'm honest I'm not doing much better when it comes to The Fear.

My symptoms are vertigo, and an attack makes me unable to function at all, unable to move my head without the world spinning wildly - all I can do is sit on the floor wherever I am, take my pills and wait it out. Without being dramatic, it's the most unpleasant and disorienting sensation I've ever felt. This is where anxiety comes in. What if it happens when I'm out in the middle of the street in traffic? When I'm alone? I'm not at the point yet where I've completely eliminated my symptoms, and I'm finding it SO hard to not feel anxious when they can be this extreme and debilitating. I don't feel able to go in to work right now, and I spend a lot of time at home.

I'm reading Claire Weekes and seeing a counsellor and doing mindfulness to deal with the anxiety. I'm doing a little bit each day to practice doing normal things, like walking, shopping, seeing people, building my confidence bit by bit. But it's so hard sometimes. I'd love to hear about your own experiences.

 

[westb]

My symptoms aren't the same as yours @cool_change (IBS + rectal pain/spasm) but I am struggling - in my case with the deep fear of the pain, thanks to a recent excruciating flare.

Thanks for the reminder re Claire Weekes, I have her excellent book and need to do some re-reading.

I too am generally at home (I'm retired) and more so recently because of the floods here in the UK and the difficulty of getting around because of them. The worst fear I have right now is due to the fact it's almost impossible for me to get to sleep because of the level of the pain, and I dread just lying there unable to sleep, as happened last night. I can cope with most things, including pain, when I can sleep.

"Overcoming the fear and anxiety attributed to your symptoms is the key to recovery". No ambiguity there. I still have work to do.

Wishing you well as you move forward, and thank you for your post.

 

[cockrell]

My symptoms aren't the same as yours @cool_change (IBS + rectal pain/spasm) but I am struggling - in my case with the deep fear of the pain, thanks to a recent excruciating flare.

Thanks for the reminder re Claire Weekes, I have her excellent book and need to do some re-reading.

I too am generally at home (I'm retired) and more so recently because of the floods here in the UK and the difficulty of getting around because of them. The worst fear I have right now is due to the fact it's almost impossible for me to get to sleep because of the level of the pain, and I dread just lying there unable to sleep, as happened last night. I can cope with most things, including pain, when I can sleep.

"Overcoming the fear and anxiety attributed to your symptoms is the key to recovery". No ambiguity there. I still have work to do.

Wishing you well as you move forward, and thank you for your post.

 

[cockrell]

hi! brand new to this site and this whole concept..this gives me hope!
I have the same sleep issue as you..i slip down that slippery slope of depression very quickly without sleep..my question is , you wouldnt take effective pain meds? is that so?thanks for taking the time to address this issue with me!

 

[westb]

hi! brand new to this site and this whole concept..this gives me hope!
I have the same sleep issue as you..i slip down that slippery slope of depression very quickly without sleep..my question is , you wouldnt take effective pain meds? is that so?thanks for taking the time to address this issue with me!

The pain medications help a bit, and I've no qualms about taking them but they are not enough to let me sleep during a bad flare. Thankfully this isn't every night, and mostly my sleep isn't too bad. But when it isn't it does muck up my head, I have to admit, and I posted the comment you responded to after a bad night. I just tell myself this too shall pass, and I might get up and make a cup of herb tea - sometimes that will do the trick and I'll go back to bed and get a couple of hours sleep. Thankfully the bouts of severe pain aren't continual and they do resolve.

I wish you well as you start on your healing journey. Overall I have learned a lot from Alan Gordon's inspirimg protocol amd it has removed a good bit of the fear that has dogged me. But there are bad days from time to time amd maybe part of the healing is to learn to accept the fact. This is where Claire Weekes' books and teaching are so helpful. A former sufferer herself, she wrote them for sufferers of "pure" anxiety and depression, but they are very helpful for those of us with TMS type pain where depression and anxiety are part of the condition.