The Balance

[Livvygurl]

Hi All,

I think I have pushed myself too hard. I know Dr. Sarno wants us to challenge our fears of doing physical things, but last night I was in a lot of pain. I am also aware that I need to be more gentle and compassionate with myself during this unwinding healing journey, at the same time I want to heal and move on from this pain cycle. It is scary at times and sometimes I am uncertain as to when I should not push myself or when I should relax and just 'Be'. Glad I have this online support : ) Any tips or suggestions? I am looking into the therapy thing and cooling out a bit. Rome wasn't built in a day!

Peace and Blessings,

Livvy ~

 

[quasar731]

I think I have pushed myself too hard....Rome wasn't built in a day!

I agree with you that Rome wasn't built in a day! How true! I am an advocate to keep moving. In fact, sometimes it is as if I put my body over my shoulder and I take it out for exercising. Well, so it feels when it resists moving. However, there are times when the appropriateness of moving the body do not seem that clear, specially when the symptoms are quite striking.

So the question is: how do we make the distinction between 'body does not want to move because body feels a bit lazy today' or 'body does not want to move because body is truly trying to heal and regroup, whatever body does when it needs a break'. I am not an expert on this topic but I can share with you my approach to it.

I know when I am lazy and I know when the symptoms allow me to go for a walk or not. And, I also learned that when I feel a particular exhaustion, and as I try to walk there is interference in my hips, then, I take my body for exercises, gently stretching and balancing at home. I also swim at a gym, I walk in the swimming pool and soak in the spa. The idea is to treat the body gently when gentleness is necessary and also to allow it to go on a rough terrain when it feels in the zone.

Sometimes I have taken myself around the block, just to demonstrate to my mind that I will go for a walk not matter what. I did this the other day. I felt the symptoms in my body and yet I asked my hubby to accompany me around the block. I needed someone to talk to me, the iPod would not have done the trick of keeping me on track. We ended walking around an open car park on a beautiful sunny wintery day. The fact is, I stayed close by the house but I sent the signal to my body that it was ok to go for a 10 minutes' walk. I could not go far away on that day, I admit.


So, I accepted my limitations and negotiated with my body that the next day there would be a walk, a swim or something else and so it was. I also do meditation when the symptoms are over the top, it is a tough go sometimes. I try to be gentle with my body because I had surgery and so I know that I am still healing. I don't know if this help you or not but above all I say, walk gently and lovingly. Your body will reward you for doing so.

Peace and grace,

 

[Livvygurl]

I feel better today, I had some energy bodywork done! I appreciate your thoughful response! What a great relationship you have developed with your bodymind, I am working towards a similar type of loving, flowing interaction with my bodymind. I know we are all a work in progress. I think the key is listening to your body, asking questions, and then taking care for yourself in whatever the moment calls for. It would be fun to be independantly weathly so I could spend all my time getting in tune with what my body wants, needs, feels, etc. It is a full time job, sort of like having a screaming baby that one has to constantly check up on! LOL : ) I am definetly going into therapy to sort out some of my old as well as new stressors. I need to shop around for the right therapist and hope that they are open to mind-body syndromes. The therapists that my insurance cover will be less expensive than a TMS specialist. I will be armed with Dr. Sarno's book during my therapist search and will find out if they are informed in the finer points of the TMS reality!

 

[quasar731]

I know we are all a work in progress. I think the key is listening to your body, asking questions, and then taking care for yourself in whatever the moment calls for. It would be fun to be independantly weathly so I could spend all my time getting in tune with what my body wants, needs, feels, etc. It is a full time job, sort of like having a screaming baby that one has to constantly check up on! LOL : )

I agree with you 100% that we are all works in progress. Also, let me say that although I work at understanding what is that my body needs or wants and making a distinction between the two, I also loose sight of it at times and mess it up. So I do not have it all together. Like you I am also learning slowly.

I did Yoga in the past and now do Pilates. Pilates has helped me to think deeper about the functions of my muscles, tendons and bones. I call the precision of Pilates 'neuron to the fibre' (like in computer/internet communication language the use 'fibre to the node'). I was very surprised to see how I could move a deep buried muscle only by concentrating on it and sending the command to move. It took time, the communication needed to be made but finally it did. Like in everything, attention, concentration, dialogue and time and it happens.

I also believe that the type of consciousness that pervades in this present age is affecting, if not thwarting our ability to communicate within our anatomical and physiological structures. Take for example the type of 'instant' type of responses that we have learned to have. We have instant food, prepackaged, it can be heated in seconds, we can communicate instantly. Even in movies life moves so fast, the dramas of life are resolved in minutes, if not seconds. Everything has geared our attention to be so short and to expect instant reward. Yet, in reality, to effect change is painfully slow, especially when we have a double take to do, such as in 'unlearning' and the 're-learning' a new cognition and behavior. I call some of the present worldviews 'the great deception' and though I do not launch and attack against them, I make myself aware that those notions have sipped into my consciousness. They had time and the resources to do so.

So I guess the idea is to come to a grinding halt and start talking to the mind and body that are so accustomed to run from A to B and to request time out. I work at earning the right to proceed with my body. I ask questions and I request answers. Sometimes it is willing to do it and sometimes it does not seem to be in the mood for dialogue.

I think what you are doing 'body work' and any therapy that can bring you closer to the awareness of the body, is terrific. Breathing deeply (as Alan Gordon says) is one that comes to mind as critical for sustaining life and also to bring the autonomic system to balance.

Anyway, you are doing terrific, keep up the good work. It is a reminder that I also must keep doing my own. WE are all in this sojourn. Thank goodness we have each other to dialogue.

Blessings to you!

 

[Beach-Girl]

Hi Livvy:

I too have a full time job coupled with anxiety. I try and stop to take a break from the screaming baby (love that) but it's not always possible. There's always a fire to put out. But we can learn to alter our reactions. We can take breaks and enjoy the outdoors (my personal favorite) we can breathe (as Alan reminded us) and we move into each day knowing we're getting just a little closer to: nirvana. And by that I mean, no pain.

Quasar said pretty much what I would have said. I haven't taken that walk yet, but I did mow the lawn. Go figure. It was the anger that finally needed a physical release. Maybe body work will work for you, it doesn't really for me. I think because I've tried so many different things. I even spent a year doing daily treatments on a crystal healing table. The crystals align with your chakras, and are supposed to leave you relaxed and aligned. It did nothing for my pain.

My approach is different than yours, but whatever it takes to get us there? That is the magic question for all of us who still experience pain. You are getting there. So happy for you!!

BG

 

[Forest]

Quasar I liked that you mentioned you walked around the block with your husband. This was something very similar to what guej said in the thread Fear of Walking. We can start out small and slow in terms being active again, but the important thing is to continue to challenge the doubts we have. Beach-Girl, mowing the lawn is an amazing first step. That is actually more physically demanding then walking around the block!

I am not too familiar with emotional bodywork. As Beach-girl mentioned, if it helps you then great, but I tend to try not to complicate TMS too much. Recovering from TMS invovles looking inside of ourselves to identify and accept the emotions and stresses that we have been repressing. When I recovered, all I did was really identify some stressful areas in my past and present, accept the TMS diagnosis and knowledge, and begin to increase my physical activity. Being physically active is so important because it challenges the fear we have and the idea that we are weak. Once I took charge of my recovery like this, I really noticed improvements farily quickly.

Another great post to look at is I'm a TMSer Triathlete.

 

[Livvygurl]

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and your body has to deal. Being in a human body has physical demands that one cannot totally be in control of like: uneven sidewalks, heavy doors to open, tight jar lids, and more. These are a few of my quirky stressors, things that I try to avoid for fear of inducing more pain. And I have built my life around dealing with these strange fears. I can walk for like 3 miles but I have a fear of stepping off the curb cause my back may "go out". I have a habit of walking down the wheelchair ramp, and I live downtown so that's like 35 ramps. I am okay with stairs, though, typical TMS craziness!!! Sometimes I think what a weird life I have .

I listened to the full Alan Gordon session and now I know what all the buzz is about. He has a wonderful technique of getting people to pay attention to their feelings, feel their feelings in their bodies, and be okay with it. I am inspired! I am healing and feel that I am at this in-between stage moving towards new horizons in my healing process. I am feeling more courageous these days and still reading voraciously. I am taking the gentle approach and at the same time increasing my activity level or my body mobility actions, and am looking forward to more bliss!

 

[Beach-Girl]

Livvy:

Ah...bliss. Love that. Yes, Alan had some great direct questions that have taken some time for me to answer. I've been really distracted with work, but still try and have my morning 30 -60 minutes to myself. I'm reading as much as I can, but have been overwhelmed with work lately. Always like this at the start of summer.

And we all have odd little things we're nervous about - like walking down a wheelchair ramp. You aren't alone with those feelings and you are certainly not alone on this journey.

You are reminding me that I haven't set foot on our beach in three weeks. Now that is not bliss! Our town is building with humanity on vacation, and this kinda ramps (scuse the pun) my anxiety. But I tell myself 2 things every morning. 1) something really good is going to happen today. (and it has been) and 2) As soon as I get the ducks in a row, I'll be on the beach as much as I can.

BG