Day 3 The athlete I used to be

In answer to the question about the last time I did any exercise and how I felt:

The last time I exercised with no pain was sometime in 2011, nearly six years ago, after four months of recovering from my stress fracture. I was doing hard workouts, training for a short road race off an enormous base of marathon fitness, the best race of my life. I came in 11th in a race of 300+ women. I was in such good shape that I was sometimes astounded at what I could do on the track and roads. I felt powerful and successful and joyous. Afterward, I would feel completely at peace. I ran during much of 2012 but there was always pain there, either in my hamstring or my foot or my calf. I raced a few times, but it was with pain and a feeling of dread, and I stopped so I wouldn’t get another catastrophic injury. Since then I have done a little bit of running, always with pain, always getting reinjured as a result. I’ve walked, but again it has been with constant pain. I did some weight work when we got back from <country>, after my terrible back issues, but that seemed to make everything worse and it was a chore. Trying to be active and seeing myself unable to, and getting fat and out of shape, has made me feel beaten, like my life as a healthy, physical person is over.

 

Don't be discouraged. You need a strong dose of confidence in TMS. Have you journaled to learn what
emotions you may be repressing? It's important in healing to be as active as possible, but don't over-do it.
Tell yourself you are going to again be the healthy, physical person you once were. Make that into a positive mantra for all the time, and especially while you're walking or running.

 

My mantra when I'm out walking and the pain starts is, "My pain is physical. Its source is emotional."

Yeah, I'm journaling and doing the work. I have hope, and patience with myself.