The A-Ha moment

[Forest]

The “Ah” moment is when you discover an emotion you did not know you had. Or you discover a new depth of that emotion...Unearthing this provides emotional relief because a repressed emotion that was there, but unfelt, is now acknowledged.

However, pain often remains because there is another secondary, hidden thought connected to that primary emotion. That thought is, ‘it’s wrong for me to have that emotion.” Recognizing, acknowledging, confronting and validating the secondary emotion is the “Ha” moment that eliminates the need for the pain. That is, when it’s OK to have the full range of emotions.

This is an excerpt from a new TMS book called, Use Your Mind to Heal Your Body, by Stephen Conenna. Stephen actually was the creator of Dr. Sarno’s Alumni Panels and the book gives the account of his recovery story.

I find this quote to be particularly enlightening on the way to recover. Yes, knowing what emotions we are repressing and/or avoiding is helpful, but it is not the end of the story. Recovery can only happen once we accept that it is okay to have these emotions.

One of the problems I see people face when they journal is that they are only looking to do the first part of this. That is, they are only digging up emotions. When these emotions come up and the recognize their anger, they become overwhelmed by guilt and feel terrible about themselves. Then they wonder why journaling is not working for them. Journaling will only work if you learn to accept and allow these emotions to be present in your current life.

This is why I think some people can read the books and heal right away, without really digging to find out what they are repressing. They simply recognize that it is okay to have deeply repressed rage, and allow themselves to express their emotions more. To a large degree, we may never be able to fully identify what emotion we are actually repressing. That’s why learning to accept our emotions and not feel guilty about having them is so important.

 

[gailnyc]

I sort of had a moment like this today at work. I'm a teacher, and during one class a student (who in general has a nasty attitude and who I don't like) came up to my desk to hand back extra copies of a handout. I put my hand out to take them, but instead of handing them to me his just sort of tossed them on the desk.

This annoyed me. Normally I would have just moved on but instead I allowed myself to feel how I felt, and I realized I was angry at him. This really struck me, because normally I would say I "never" get angry, especially at my students. But I felt really angry! So surprising!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Gailnyc. I would have liked to spank the rude kid. His rudeness was bound to make you feel angry.
That was an honest response/emotion. In the old days when I was a kid in school, I remember a teacher
(a really big woman) step with all her weight on the foot of a boy who was unruly while sitting in an aisle seat in a study hall. She didn't say a word, but he got the message and behaved. Your rude boy deserved some kind of punishment, but maybe at least afterward you could look at it this way... maybe he had some reason to be angry at someone that day, maybe he had a bad morning at home with a parent or sibling. When he tossed the handouts at you rudely, he may have been taking out his own anger or frustration on you. If you think of it that way, you don't have to internalize the rudeness so that it causes you anger. Then forgive the little monster. Maybe returning kindess to his rudeness could help you both. But this must be another example of how it isn't easy to be a teacher.

Does anyone else out there have any ideas on how Gailnyc could handle such situations? Teachers or others?

Have a great day.

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

I love the Quote forest, I've had more Ah, ha moments than I can remember.
I do know that when I had my first Ah,ha moment it was while journaling
No real tension release but I knew id hit a repression
I do remember going back in and going over that thought time and time again
The next ah, ha moment was during a dream-
now while im having these ah, ha moments its not like all of the sudden im healed
Its like oh, so now im onto the jig- I've got it!
I remember the night I healed- it was an Ah,ha moment and then like 1 week
later I had some pain come back- then over like in 2 weeks - I gradually went to 100%
So I can see where the author has the ha moment coming in after the ha
its a good excerpt and makes all the sense in the world