Hi Folks,
So, I was active on this forum earlier in the year, due to a series of foot problems which had been diagnosed as nine separate things, including osteoarthritis, two types of tendonitis and a host of other gruesome sounding things. I'd had an x-ray - all clear. An ultrasound - all clear. But I was insistent on having an MRI, despite some wise old folk on here saying not to - because it clearly sounded like TMS - and you know what? The results came back - all clear. I could quote the simplicity of the language - 'no action required; foot normal. Satisfactory joint spaces. Plantar plates intact,' etc etc...it goes on. Basically, nothing wrong, despite me spending hundreds of pounds on shoes, insoles, specialists, investments in stress and worry and identity all to do with 'what is wrong with my foot?' Of course, it's not my foot, it's my LIFE. More specifically, my boundaries. Recently, I've had appetite loss, gallbladder pain, the tension and pain of what appears to be IBS. But a closer inspection of my life reveals -
1 - a horrible personal situation involving an impossible love, emotional vigilance and the constant bracing of myself for bad, painful news
2 - a horrible domestic situation involving an old friend, my sanctuary being invaded and my inability to invoke an ending because 'endings hurt,' (though not as much as my tummy)
3 - still working with dogs, still finding myself over-subscribed, tired and resentful.
So, hey! I've not learnt much but at least I have the proof of what you clever people knew all along.
Back to journalling I go...
Just a quick question before I do; I don't recognise a huge amount of the people-pleasing much described in the TMS character, but I do have issues with boundaries; I presume, when I think upon this, that that's pretty much the same sort of thing, isn't it? I may not bend over backwards for everyone but I let situations which aren't at all healthy persist, because I feel too frightened or sad to stop them.
Cheers (again)
Sarah
So, I was active on this forum earlier in the year, due to a series of foot problems which had been diagnosed as nine separate things, including osteoarthritis, two types of tendonitis and a host of other gruesome sounding things. I'd had an x-ray - all clear. An ultrasound - all clear. But I was insistent on having an MRI, despite some wise old folk on here saying not to - because it clearly sounded like TMS - and you know what? The results came back - all clear. I could quote the simplicity of the language - 'no action required; foot normal. Satisfactory joint spaces. Plantar plates intact,' etc etc...it goes on. Basically, nothing wrong, despite me spending hundreds of pounds on shoes, insoles, specialists, investments in stress and worry and identity all to do with 'what is wrong with my foot?' Of course, it's not my foot, it's my LIFE. More specifically, my boundaries. Recently, I've had appetite loss, gallbladder pain, the tension and pain of what appears to be IBS. But a closer inspection of my life reveals -
1 - a horrible personal situation involving an impossible love, emotional vigilance and the constant bracing of myself for bad, painful news
2 - a horrible domestic situation involving an old friend, my sanctuary being invaded and my inability to invoke an ending because 'endings hurt,' (though not as much as my tummy)
3 - still working with dogs, still finding myself over-subscribed, tired and resentful.
So, hey! I've not learnt much but at least I have the proof of what you clever people knew all along.
Back to journalling I go...
Just a quick question before I do; I don't recognise a huge amount of the people-pleasing much described in the TMS character, but I do have issues with boundaries; I presume, when I think upon this, that that's pretty much the same sort of thing, isn't it? I may not bend over backwards for everyone but I let situations which aren't at all healthy persist, because I feel too frightened or sad to stop them.
Cheers (again)
Sarah
