Funny!
It's been a few weeks since I did an assignment and posted here, and I was feeling guilty about not doing it perfectly, ie, every single day no matter what.
Then I jump in and find the next assignment is to do something I enjoy doing.
I have been working really hard at looking at some very difficult issues that I don't feel comfortable posting here in detail. I have been doing some journaling, sharing with a trusted friend, and working very hard in therapy. Every morning I listen to a talk by either Jon Kabat Zin or Tara Brach. I've been crying a lot of therapeutic tears, and trying to be very very honest.
I've noticed that the numbness in my foot is almost gone. I still experience a little instability on that side, especially during yoga, and sometimes it's irritating when I wear certain tight shoes (conditioning), but overall it diminishes a bit more every week.
I've felt a huge wave of relief as I expose the perfectionism I labor under as well. I am sleeping and eating better and feeling much more comfortable in my own skin.
But the emotions are POWERFUL and disruptive and have brought up so much uncertainty and fear about the course of my life.
On days that are not so "stormy" I am grateful, but I am grateful for the emotions too. I am really excited about deepening my meditation practice more, welcoming in the 10,000 joys and the 10,000 sorrows and just sitting with what is.
I would not be making such progress if this forum and all it's many resources weren't here. Especially thank you to the encouragement and acceptance I find here.
It's been a few weeks since I did an assignment and posted here, and I was feeling guilty about not doing it perfectly, ie, every single day no matter what.
Then I jump in and find the next assignment is to do something I enjoy doing.
I have been working really hard at looking at some very difficult issues that I don't feel comfortable posting here in detail. I have been doing some journaling, sharing with a trusted friend, and working very hard in therapy. Every morning I listen to a talk by either Jon Kabat Zin or Tara Brach. I've been crying a lot of therapeutic tears, and trying to be very very honest.
I've noticed that the numbness in my foot is almost gone. I still experience a little instability on that side, especially during yoga, and sometimes it's irritating when I wear certain tight shoes (conditioning), but overall it diminishes a bit more every week.
I've felt a huge wave of relief as I expose the perfectionism I labor under as well. I am sleeping and eating better and feeling much more comfortable in my own skin.
But the emotions are POWERFUL and disruptive and have brought up so much uncertainty and fear about the course of my life.
On days that are not so "stormy" I am grateful, but I am grateful for the emotions too. I am really excited about deepening my meditation practice more, welcoming in the 10,000 joys and the 10,000 sorrows and just sitting with what is.
I would not be making such progress if this forum and all it's many resources weren't here. Especially thank you to the encouragement and acceptance I find here.
