Tachycardias, joint pain, and now severe tinnitus (I'm exhausted)

[Mitocondria]

Hi! David here

First of all, thanks to Dr Sarno and everyone who makes this forum possible.

I have 37yo now.

When I was 27 years old I had sciatica (L5-S1 herniated disc) and it was very hard, but I recovered (posturology). But I lowered the intensity of my weight training and I felt very bad: at 27 years old and unable to train strength.

I left my partner and fell in love with someone else. It was a time with a lot of stress and repressed emotion.

At 32 I had my first panic attack during a relaxed meeting. Like that, suddenly. I thought I was dying (my father had a real heart attack and my mind did its thing).

At that moment I discovered anxiety. I didn't know myself. Now, I am a textbook TMS: 'good person', obsessive, perfectionist, and very self-analytical with my body.

Totally disconnected from my mind.

The cardiac tests came back fine: anxiety attack and home to take life easy.

Then one day, the tinnitus appeared out of nowhere. It turned on without explanation. I went to ER and everything was fine. I visited the ENT doctor: no findings.

What’s next?

At 35, hyperacusis (could not be in noisy environments) and visual snow. The ophthalmologist didn't know what he was talking about.

He also suffered a vitreous detachment that generated many myodesopsias. Here, the STRESS was HUGE: sad, afraid of being like this for life, apathetic and without the desire to live.

I had surgery to clean my eye (thank god). My case was serious and justified.

But the operation caused me so much anxiety that days before the date I began to have other symptoms:

• tingling in hands and feet.
  
• burning feet.
  
• stiff hands.
  
• knee pain.
  
• Severe fatigue.
• Joint Cracking
  
• Insomnia

What about the bloodwork?

He came back with no findings, just low Vitamin D. No inflammatory marker. I was convinced that I had Arthritis and that my life was over. I saw myself on medication and experiencing joint destruction.

I started D3 supplementation and some symptoms improved, but the joint pain continued. I was very confused (and my doctor even more so).

Cranial/cervical MRIs came back fine. Electromyography too.

Next stop?

Rheumatology (OMG)

It was right at that moment when a client of mine who was an expert in Fibromyalgia told me about TMS. And when I saw the personality pattern my sky lit up.

But of course, my rational mind doesn't want to believe that's possible.

Well, the rheumatologist himself saw it clearly:

'You have nothing, you are stressed and anxious. I notice it in the way you move and in your voice. I prescribe you sport and relaxation every day.’

At that moment I started reading 'mind-body' and I was perplexed. I had that personality. And I began to realize the HUGE amount of RAGE repressed since my childhood (alcoholic father, bullying, inferiority complex...)

In fact, I had been reading books on happiness and personal development for years. I was looking for answers.

After 6 months of unexplained pain, a reflexology (foot) session eliminated the remains of pain in my body. It was very painful, but it worked. The therapist confirmed my personality pattern and explained the reasons for my pain (aka TMS again).

I left the consultation happy, wanting to continue learning about TMS and eliminate anxiety once and for all. Start being happy and stop self-analyzing my body.

But something happened.

I was invited as a DJ to a party and I played for 4 hours (with hearing protection) and on a not very noisy stage (you could talk)

I was afraid for my delicate hearing (tinnitus, hyperacusis, sensitivity to sound...)

At the end, I got into my car and boom: new symptoms:

• very loud tinnitus
• Mild hyperacusis
• the sound is muffled
  
• Slight heat in ears
  
• Feeling of 'ear full and pressure'
  
• … and fear, a LOT of fear.

After 5 days it was still the same. wearing earplugs almost 16 hours/day to give peace to my ears.

Have I broken them?

The ENT doctor has given me corticosteroids and doesn't see anything out of the ordinary. But me, I'm scared to death.

The same, AGAIN.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hi David, and welcome to the forum!

I'm glad you gave us your medical background, so that we know that you have been medically checked out before we advise on developing TMS strategies. It sounds like you are in the right place, so let's see how we can point you in the right direction to really work on your TMS issues with more structure and commitment.

At that moment I started reading 'mind-body' and I was perplexed. I had that personality. And I began to realize the HUGE amount of RAGE repressed since my childhood (alcoholic father, bullying, inferiority complex...)
In fact, I had been reading books on happiness and personal development for years. I was looking for answers.

This is really helpful for us to know about. I think that the books on happiness and personal development probably helped you recently, to understand the ideas of TMS, especially the ideas about repressed emotions. You are making an excellent start!

Did you read any of the three books by Dr. John Sarno? We feel it's important that everyone start with one of those. His first book, and the most famous one, was written back in the 1980s, and it is mostly about back pain. His second book, from the 1990s, is call The Mindbody Prescription, and covers many more conditions. His last book, written in 2006, is The Divided Mind, where he writes about his TMS theories and experiences in four chapters, and turns the book over to six other health professionals (five of them are MDs) to present their own ideas and experiences in mindbody treatment.

You can also start working on our free Structured Educational Program which is on the main website at tmswiki.org. There is no registration needed, you just start doing it. Don't rush through it - one "Day" per day is enough. You can use the extra time to read Success Stories here on that subforum, and participate in the daily discussion (as you already have - good job with that!)

Keep posting, and let us know how it goes!

~Jan

 

[Mitocondria]

Thank you Jan. I started with the last book, but I will read all three.

Today I accomplished ‘Day 1’. A lot of cyring, sadness and anger released. Good sign I guess

 

[JanAtheCPA]

David, it sounds like you are very open to doing this work - this does seem like an encouraging start, so give yourself a lot of credit for that! Also don't forget to be kind and patient with yourself. Take it slowly and be compassionate to your poor fearful brain so that it doesn't suddenly try to fight back with more fear!

I started with the last book, but I will read all three.

In all the years I've been doing this, The Divided Mind is the only one of Dr Sarno's books that I ever read! My profile page contains a list of other books that really influenced my recovery with different aspects of this work. Feel free to take a look. In fact, the second book on my list is Help and Hope for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes, which really helped my anxiety, as it has helped probably thousands of people for many decades.

 

[Mitocondria]

Thank you I will read this book too.

I feel emotionally tired and sad.

There are many years of living with a huge weight (anxiety and fear) on my shoulders.

I am very lucky that I do not suffer physical pain, but the tinnitus is tormenting me.

It has my nervous system constantly activated.

I hope that as the days go by, its intensity decreases.

Thanks for you support

 

[Scanh]

I feel emotionally tired and sad.

There are many years of living with a huge weight (anxiety and fear) on my shoulders.

I am very lucky that I do not suffer physical pain, but the tinnitus is tormenting me.

It has my nervous system constantly activated.

Oh, I know that place. There is a lot of scientific evidence that points to the same thing I've found to be true in my own experience - the more I focused on that noise, the louder it seemed, and the more anxious I became. I know this is a hard pill to swallow and tough to imagine doing, but the best thing I ever did for my own sanity after my tinnitus had been driving me to despair for several months was to stop giving the noise my attention. I started taking walks outside and actively focusing my attention on other sounds - wind rustling tree leaves or birds chirping away - and when I noticed the noise, I ignored it and focused harder on that other external sound. It was exhausting at first, but over time I was able to do it for ever longer periods of time, and that became time in which I didn't hear the tinnitus. Later I discovered that anything that engaged me and that I could get lost in became time in which the tinnitus "went away". So I started trying to be engaged with something or another for as much of every day as I could. Getting out of my comfort zone (I'm an introvert at heart) and being a lot more socially active and involved helped tremendously. As I did these things, my fear of the noise faded - and the more it faded, the less I cared about the times when I did hear it, because I knew it would be gone as soon as I was focused on anything else.

I rarely notice it now, and when I do, it doesn't matter. It is utterly unimportant. It's been a few years now, but that still feels great to say. If tinnitus were a person, it would be as if I told it to fuck off in the most classy manner.

If you haven't learned about the concept of outcome independence yet, check it out. There's a quite a bit about it on this site.

Looking forward to the day when I hear that your days outstanding and quiet again!

 

[Focuser]

Hi David,

I strongly recommend you visit tinnitus.org and read the articles there, especially https://tinnitus.org/tinnitus/ (Tinnitus.org | Tinnitus). It's based on the research of someone named Jastreboff, who worked independently of Sarno and Claire Weekes but came to very similar conclusions: tinnitus is a result of the subconscious mind amplifying normal electrical signals in the auditory system, out of fear. If you stop being fearful it stops being a problem. The site describes physical supports for recovery like white noise generators, but I didn't need any of that to get past my own tinnitus--which shows up mildly every now and then but is harmless and just goes away again.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Nice find, @Focuser!

I like this statement on their home page:
Many of the support groups are simply phobic training camps!

Eesh, and how many other TMS conditions can say the same?

 

[Mitocondria]

Hi David,

I strongly recommend you visit tinnitus.org and read the articles there, especially https://tinnitus.org/tinnitus/ (Tinnitus.org | Tinnitus). It's based on the research of someone named Jastreboff, who worked independently of Sarno and Claire Weekes but came to very similar conclusions: tinnitus is a result of the subconscious mind amplifying normal electrical signals in the auditory system, out of fear. If you stop being fearful it stops being a problem. The site describes physical supports for recovery like white noise generators, but I didn't need any of that to get past my own tinnitus--which shows up mildly every now and then but is harmless and just goes away again.

thank you so much for your message. I need things like this

On the one hand, I think this exaggerated response of my auditory system is TMS. But coinciding with an event (loud music) is what makes me doubt.

But... we all know that's how TMS works. The brain takes advantage of an event/overexertion to send its energy.

 

[Cactusflower]

thank you so much for your message. I need things like this

On the one hand, I think this exaggerated response of my auditory system is TMS. But coinciding with an event (loud music) is what makes me doubt.

But... we all know that's how TMS works. The brain takes advantage of an event/overexertion to send its energy.

My tinnitus flairs every time there is loud music, it’s audible now because of using headphones yesterday. Your unconscious mind is simply expecting symptoms every time life is loud. My hearing is actually damaged (age, and my friends giant speaker stack and guitar up to 10) and every time noise is slightly loud I get symptoms because my brain isn’t fully trained yet to know that tinnitus is not a sign of noise damage. Less ability to hear is.

 

[Mitocondria]

Nice find, @Focuser!

I like this statement on their home page:
Many of the support groups are simply phobic training camps!

Eesh, and how many other TMS conditions can say the same?

My tinnitus flairs every time there is loud music, it’s audible now because of using headphones yesterday. Your unconscious mind is simply expecting symptoms every time life is loud. My hearing is actually damaged (age, and my friends giant speaker stack and guitar up to 10) and every time noise is slightly loud I get symptoms because my brain isn’t fully trained yet to know that tinnitus is not a sign of noise damage. Less ability to hear is.

Thanks for your contribution. It is such an unknown condition! I know people with hearing loss without tinnitus. They have it due to nerves, TMJ, cervical, muscular… or for no reason! It came to me after a panic attack due to a stressful situation at work and after a very complicated breakup.

Since then, loud volumes bothered me. And since I was 20 years old, they detected a slight loss in very high frequencies, I put things together.

I told myself I couldn't tolerate loud music (it literally hurt). But it was progressive, there was no acoustic trauma.

I am increasingly convinced that so many years of anxiety my nervous system have ended up taking their toll, which is why I also suffer from visual snow and see things that most people cannot see because their brain filters them out.

I want to convince myself that when I reduce stress, my tinnitus will go away. But it's like asking someone who has been a police officer all his life to stop being one in record time.

When so many years have passed, it seems that anxiety is integrated into our DNA.

 

[Cactusflower]

I want to convince myself that when I reduce stress, my tinnitus will go away. But it's like asking someone who has been a police officer all his life to stop being one in record time.

When so many years have passed, it seems that anxiety is integrated into our DNA.

You kind of eventually learn not to give a crap about it. I know consciously it doesn’t bug me, but obviously subconsciously it might. Who knows? I hear it, say “oh, hello” and ignore it. Still working on that with other symptoms. Perhaps sometimes that’s the blessing of having a variety of symptoms

 

[Mitocondria]

You kind of eventually learn not to give a crap about it. I know consciously it doesn’t bug me, but obviously subconsciously it might. Who knows? I hear it, say “oh, hello” and ignore it. Still working on that with other symptoms. Perhaps sometimes that’s the blessing of having a variety of symptoms

My pain symptoms disappeared 100% after a session of reflexotherapy and energy unblocking (it was very painful).

A few days later, pain appeared in the perineal area, but I ignored it and it went away.

At 3 diss I had this musical event and the tinnitus increased the volume by 70%.

He got angry, clearly.

For now, it is the only symptom on the table.

PD - I highly recommend reflexotherapy for TMS. It is very liberating and I think it speeds up recoveries.