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Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Boston Redsox, Sep 19, 2015.

  1. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Well people of the tms family, as you know been battling bad marriage crazy wife taking off for a month know she told me she was on a cruise…( crazy bitch) anyway trying not to react and staying calm and all the practices we do to cope…

    I was fine or so I thought my leg and feet pain where diminishing to a certain degree where I was not really caring if I had pain anymore kinda of winning this battle to a point where fear was not a issue anymore ….THEN BAM all out rash on my legs arms just woke up one morning and they where there.

    I laughed and said WOW system imperative is a real thing…my mind and focus where off my old issues and know this rash as my full attention crazy stuff.

    Anyway thats my story of the week god bless you all.
  2. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Damn, sorry to hear that Marco.

    I know you have said that you are trying to stay calm, but there's a danger of repressing even more of the same hatred and resentment without knowing you are consciously doing it. Learn to let go and forgive, I think this is the way forward and something I am working towards.

    God bless my friend
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thats my montra forgive and let go...
  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Forgive and let go was my best way to TMS healing. Journaling helped me to put myself in the shoes of my parents whose divorce when I was seven
    left me with feelings of insecurity. By understanding them and realizing they had their own TMS symptoms, I was able to forgive them and let go.

    I also agree about laughter helping to heal TMS pain. It helps to laugh away our worries and anxieties.
    Scott.Cameron and Boston Redsox like this.
  5. Markus

    Markus Guest

    I do not think it's s.i. but, time will tell.
  6. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Marco. At least your wife is out of your hair for a while.

    Relax and enjoy yourself while she's away.
    Maybe she'll meet a surgar daddy on the cruise and stay away.
    Think positive. haha.
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  7. Markus

    Markus Guest

    Yeah, hope and pray that someone takes a liking to her and maybe she'll be gone and you can finish healing!
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 24, 2015
  8. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member


    I was thinking the same thing lol…
  9. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    Hi Boston Redsox, There is a great book called "the forgiveness myth" It was written by spiritual men, TWO of them....I would send it to you! Forgiveness is a myth....I am not trying to sound bad, but, I hear what you are going through....

    It's not easy to live with someone who cheated on you and act like you have forgiven...It's hard to let go of that hurt! The Authors talk about how much pressure forgiving puts on a person when the hurt has been bad.

    Rather then trying to forgive, try to express your feelings and be mindful so the hurt isn't so bad. Then, one day when or if you can forgiviness will happen because the hurt is no longer orbiting around your life.

    Last edited: Sep 24, 2015
  10. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Thx you Kalo,

    I struggle with those thoughts every day ….sometimes to much but I realize I need to get those negative thoughts out of my head and filled them with positive ones..Where could I get this book amazon?
  11. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Maybe I can find the forgiveness myth book in a google search. I'll try now.
  12. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    It looks like this is the book:
    The Forgiveness Myth: How to Heal Your Hurts, Move on and Be Happy Again When You Can't or Won't Forgive
    Jan 1, 2008
    by Gary Egeberg and Wayne Raiter

    You can get get a good used copy cheap.

    I found that forgiving played a big part in my healing from back pain.
    If you don't forgive, anger remains inside, and the person who did you harm wins. In forgiving, you win.
    I ask the Lord to bring them peace. Praying for someone you need to forgive is very therapeutic.

    You may be able to forgive, but not forget. Just concentrate on forgiving and it helps to forget why you needed to forgive them.
    I've put myself in their shoes and it has helped to understand them better, and that helps in forgiving them.
  13. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    Boston...If you can't find a copy....I can mail you my book...
  14. Markus

    Markus Guest

    Steve O
    Has mentioned that only one or two books are needed to heal from tms but, it's nice to know that there are so many excellent self-help books out there.
  15. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Kalo, I remember once hearing/reading that you can choose to forgive the person, but that doesn't mean you're required to also forgive their behavior. Some behaviors are truly unforgivable.

    This can be applied to ourselves, as well.
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  16. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I like this quote... "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong". Mahatma Gandhi
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  17. balto

    balto Beloved Grand Eagle

    I don't know who in this world would be healthy living in that kind of toxic environment? I don't believe any tms/mind body method out there would help. I believe you just have to try your best to get out of that living arrangement or just accept it and focus on the good things in life. Complaint or blowing off steam here or at home is not going to help, in my opinion.
    With all that hatred you have for your wife now, talking about all that forgiveness stuff to you is like telling the Jews to forgive Hitler. It is just impossible. Hearing your story without hearing it from your wife, I think it is unfair for anyone to say anything negative about her. And if any of us do, it just going to feed you with more hatred for her. I don't think any of that is going to help.
    If you can't forgive, try to forget and move on. You body is stuck with her but your mind don't have to. The best revenge is to show the other how happy and successful we are without him/her.
    (sorry if this offended you. I'm just thought this may help)
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2015
    Ellen, JanAtheCPA and mike2014 like this.
  18. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    I am probably going to get dissed....

    But, for all of you who say "forgive and let go", its not that easy!

    When family, members, friends, spouse do harm to you that is VERY HURTFUL, its not easy to just forgive and let go....

    The Forgiviness myth, book was recommended to me by a Priest! YES, a PRIEST, and it is a great book!

    I don't know about Boston's situation and you might be right in the fact there is two sides to a story, but, maybe the best thing for Boston is to leave his wife and find happiness.

    However, I TOTALLY get it and when a person is stuck in a situation they can't walk away from because of circumstances it is a living nightmare.

    It's not easy and it puts STRESS on the body, I am sorry but it does.

    My family members did some pretty horrible things after my Dad passed!

    Their SELFISH descisions making, was not in the best interest for my Mom and or me.

    Unless you are Jesus, Buddah or Krishna, we are humans and it is hard to forgive and let go!

    You will heal in time, but, in the meant time be easy on yourself!

    Believe me that is why FORGIVNESS is a big my and on top of that when one finds it hard to forgive it CREATES it STRESS and GUILT!!!

    Last edited: Sep 30, 2015
    Boston Redsox and Tennis Tom like this.
  19. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    How I see it is that letting go and forgiveness go hand in hand...

    It's not so much about forgiving the other person, but more to the effect of forgiving and being compassionate to oneself and not letting our ego or pride get in the way, by feeding our inner child, or trying to prove how right we are, despite how hurt we feel.

    I'd say, once we've learnt to let go and detach ourselves from the individual who causes us pain, only then can we truly be in a place to move on and "fake" forgiveness.

    Trying to let go and fake forgiveness whilst still in the centre of an event is tall ask for anyone. To truly be successful, one must change their environment, situation, reactions otherwise he or she will continue to suffer.
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2015
    Ellen and JanAtheCPA like this.
  20. Kalo

    Kalo Well known member

    Well to me it is changing ones environment and situation is the BIGGEST or you will continue to suffer...

    I can not change my Environment and or situation! Sure you can try to change your reaction, but, now always easy when the person who has CREATED a big mess in your life continues to act like a jerk...

    Tennis Tom likes this.

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