Symptom Imperative of Rectum Pain need support

[mads13]

Hi Everyone!

to give a quick summary of my background - in 2020 I began having head pain, and neck pain, this continued for 5 years during this time I also had severe stomach pain, and then had a reaction to MRI contrast which “caused” burning skin all over my body for 8 months. Then i had a shoulder injury which was later diagnosed as TOS and a frozen shoulder on the right shoulder. I also had “burning scalp syndrome” after a bleach burn.


I then finally found this community because I got chronic speaking and throat pain triggered from a scream. I was able to recover 99% since June 2025 from the speaking and throat pain which is when I started doing this work. My arm also improved greatly and the frozen shoulder just started opening up a month ago. During this time I had been reducing my fear around symptoms, living life again, being kinder to myself, setting boundaries and feeling instead of thinking my emotions.


In November I got a symptom imperative of nerve type pain on my clitoris which would be triggered from intimacy. One time it was triggered the pain stayed bad after and spread to spasms and weird pains in the whole area. I treated this as tms right away and the pain went away within a month when not touching the area but I still haven’t touched it intimately since then due to fear.


From 2020-2022 I had a chronic anal fissure that required surgery. The surgery was successful and the fissure healed. Any reoccurrences I had since then were predictable and healed in a normal time frame. A month ago I had some constipation on and off that was causing soreness and then it progressed to having this feeling of going through bruised muscles whether I was constipated or not. Initially I didn’t listen to my body and didn’t drink more water or take stool softeners and ignored it because I thought I simply wasn’t feeding into it but I was really just being neglectful. I started having some mild soreness on my surgical side when sitting on hard surfaces every now and then but nothing too noticeable (this was about a week or two before it got bad) then suddenly after a few more bad bowl movements and the feeling of going through bruised muscles (which felt the same as going through my cut muscle post LIS surgery) I started experiencing constant 10/10 pain. I saw my surgeon to rule out the physical and he said no fissure, no problematic hemorrhoids, no inflammation, he said the muscles felt tight and said it was pelvic floor issues and recommended muscle relaxers and pelvic floor pt. I told him about my past history with neuroplastic pain and said that I would try treating it that way. It’s been a month and I’m dealing with pretty severe pain still and it’s hard to sit and now I’m having muscle pain not just internally but around my butt. I have had a hard time getting there with my mindset because I was used to having a “physical” issue there in the past so my brain kept going there subconsciously. I was also dealing with some grief of having been so proud of where I was and getting my life back and looking forward to things and this made me feel like I was starting over and there was fear because of the location initially not knowing what was going on.


I need some support because I’m trying to continue living my life and doing what I did with my throat but with my throat I started this work at rock bottom so my hope was so big which helped and now I’m starting this again having just been on such a high thinking I was out of this. I’m trying not to look at it as separate things and just all one thing.


I think I need to work on my self compassion, my OCD and my fear. I thought I had recovered quite a bit from fear but when something happens in an area like this where I had a surgery or in a “believable spot” there is that animalistic part of me that feels like it still goes back into survival a bit.


I’m trying not to avoid anything, I’ve been going for walks everyday, sitting in pain, etc. I have been avoiding sex just because the pain is so bad. Also I used gradual exposure with my throat but it’s tough because I have to go to the bathroom daily and it always in the morning so it kind of starts my day with that severe pain. I’m sure some people who have had urinary or bowel issues can maybe help me with the mindset piece on that?


any support is greatly appreciated. If anyone with the same symptoms in that area can refrain from horror stories about how awful it is and never getting better etc etc. that would be great. I’m not in a place to hear those kinds of takes at the moment.


Also a side note, I’m invited to go to the beach with my boyfriend’s family for Easter this weekend and I’m very torn about what to do. I don’t want to avoid things but I also don’t want to torture myself.

 

[Cactusflower]

Is there anything you can take for the pain to get you through the weekend? This would help you work on other parts of TMS work while you are away, and give you a break in dealing with the pain, if the weekend is something you would really enjoy.
As for using the bathroom: I did not have your particular issue, but I did have problems and pain using the facilities. I'd simply tell myself it is just a phase, and it will pass. It's simply a symptom and I will be fine. It might hurt, I might not like it but the Dr. said I am fine. Keep re-assuring and soothing yourself while trying not to avoid things. If you need to break everything down into smaller, more manageable steps, do it. You know the process works, you know you can use exposure to get you where you need to be.
Gradual exposure is simply finding safety in the thinking about and doing. You are going to do exactly the same thing now - but differently. You can't avoid the facilities but you can eg. avoid sex right now without avoiding all intimacy, you can avoid wearing tight clothing while working towards getting back into the items you enjoy wearing etc. You can use a pain relief of some sort while you are doing all of these things and/or on occasion and work towards lessening your need for it. It's really all about what you do to calm your nervous system while confronting your fears. At first you reduce the chance of overwhelm but in time you'll be able to handle more just as you have before.

 

[mads13]

Is there anything you can take for the pain to get you through the weekend? This would help you work on other parts of TMS work while you are away, and give you a break in dealing with the pain, if the weekend is something you would really enjoy.
As for using the bathroom: I did not have your particular issue, but I did have problems and pain using the facilities. I'd simply tell myself it is just a phase, and it will pass. It's simply a symptom and I will be fine. It might hurt, I might not like it but the Dr. said I am fine. Keep re-assuring and soothing yourself while trying not to avoid things. If you need to break everything down into smaller, more manageable steps, do it. You know the process works, you know you can use exposure to get you where you need to be.
Gradual exposure is simply finding safety in the thinking about and doing. You are going to do exactly the same thing now - but differently. You can't avoid the facilities but you can eg. avoid sex right now without avoiding all intimacy, you can avoid wearing tight clothing while working towards getting back into the items you enjoy wearing etc. You can use a pain relief of some sort while you are doing all of these things and/or on occasion and work towards lessening your need for it. It's really all about what you do to calm your nervous system while confronting your fears. At first you reduce the chance of overwhelm but in time you'll be able to handle more just as you have before.

Thank you! I did end up going on the trip after going back and forth right before we left. The car ride was a lot but I’m really proud of myself for doing it. I was really kind to myself throughout the trip and didn’t let my normal people pleasing tendencies rear their head. On Saturday I excused myself after dinner to lay down a bit. On Sunday I skipped church even with some pressure to go and the feeling of potential judgment because I knew that it wasn’t for me with the hard seats. They also took a far drive for a long dinner that night and I stayed back and just hung out with my cat and it was nice. I felt like I was able to balance not avoiding things I wanted to do with respecting where I’m at in this very moment and caring for myself and not doing things just to make others comfortable.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

Thank you! I did end up going on the trip after going back and forth right before we left. The car ride was a lot but I’m really proud of myself for doing it. I was really kind to myself throughout the trip and didn’t let my normal people pleasing tendencies rear their head. On Saturday I excused myself after dinner to lay down a bit. On Sunday I skipped church even with some pressure to go and the feeling of potential judgment because I knew that it wasn’t for me with the hard seats. They also took a far drive for a long dinner that night and I stayed back and just hung out with my cat and it was nice. I felt like I was able to balance not avoiding things I wanted to do with respecting where I’m at in this very moment and caring for myself and not doing things just to make others comfortable.

Well done that's brilliant I love that balance.