Support

Started the SEP 4 days ago and part of the exercise is posting our responses on this thread and sharing our stories. It is so disheartening when there is no response and no support. We are here because we are scared, in pain and desperate. Unless I am doing something wrong with my postings I cannot understand the lack of reply on this thread and others I have posted on.

 

Hi Jessica - Sorry for the lack of response.
I see you replying to posts from others and thats great but we might miss you personal issue or stories.
I would suggest to start your own posts and clearly add a subjectline to that day in the program you have a story, questions or just want to vent
(subject: Day 4 - Support). Goodluck in your journey, you are on the right track.

 

I believe it

I believe i did start a new thread on the SEP but i will look again. Thanks

 

Sweetheart, try not to be discouraged. The life of the forum ebbs and flows and I think it has been a little quiet of late. I say 'think' because I have not been here myself (life is demanding). There are some beautiful souls here who give of themselves above and beyond any expectation so hold your faith and commitment to healing. Hopefully when my own situation eases I shall be back more often. I just popped on to give you some reassurance.

With love,

Plum x

 

Thank you for your response and kindness

 

Yes, jessicaLee, try to persist, and don't take it as rejection when someone doesn't answer. You can always go back to your own post, and make an entry like "I hope someone might respond to this." Which will push the post back up toward the top, where people will notice it. It is good that you've put your needs to words and asked again.

 

Hi . I too am new and totally understand your fear and needing support. I sent out a few message and only go a few replies too. Part of loving ourselves and healing is to not take it personally. So I want to connect with you. How are You? What's going on?

 

Hi thanks for reaching out. I guess it is very clear that one of my personality traits is insecurity. I think when you are hurting and scared you take everything personally. Working hard with all the readings and discussions. I get some relief but am still struggling with fear when the discomfort rolls in. Was happy to find this peer support network. There are so many good things on it even if the actual peer support/chat is lacking. I think people feel more connected on the Facebook page. How are you? I wish you a beautiful day!

 

I am struggling with so much pain. Scared, hurting. On day 11 of program with no big changes yet. When I read about people whose pain ends just by reading i get envious. That is not how it is going for me.
I want healing and a life back more than words can express

 

Angel, the peer support here isn't lacking but I think your posts and pleas for support are getting a little drowned out. The lifeblood of this site are the two main forums; the General Discussion Forum and the Support Forum. These simply attract more traffic and therefore more responses. It may be a good idea to gather your questions together and post on the Support Forum (and in your initial post letting people know you are doing the SEP, and perhaps too the books you've read. This gives people a better grasp on where you are in the learning process).

The other thing I would say is a huge part of recovery rests exactly on the kind of experiences you are having now. There is no magic bullet to overcome insecurity and the like but instead we learn about why we feel this way, what triggers it, and most importantly how to nurture and heal and love ourselves through it to a place of strength. For many of us this is a work in progress particularly given the demands of our lives. Many people here are enmeshed in complex and challenging situations, myself included.

To that end it also does well to use the search function to explore issues you are struggling with and to contribute to those threads. I cannot emphasise enough how vital it is to engage and to try to help and support others. At its heart TMS really is all about relationships. It's not an individual venture.

I hope some of this helps. I really am spinning plates big-time at the moment (read My Story for the lowdown) but I don't like to see sweet souls such as yourself suffer.

dede, such a small minority heal through the book cure. For most of us it is a longer, slower process but this is ok. Healing does take time but as it comes, it is sure. My best advice at this point is that you relax and ease the pressure on yourself because it is counterproductive. Every single soul who has ever healed has been where you are now. Take some comfort in that my dear.

 

Such a sweet sweet response. I appreciate it more than I can say. Is this Plum? Your words got right in my heart.
I am learning and this is new, how to love myself. Learning to go to my heart for myself though it is still very new and tenderplace to go find. My head did most of the work in my life and going to my heart towards others always came natural, going towards myself with true heart is another story.
The pain feels so intense and relentless and it is hard not to go to desperation. I keep coming back to my heart and sometimes hope.

 

Yes, this is Plum.
You write with such an open-heart dede, it is a joy to read. Such sensitivity bodes well. Many of us here have felt tortured by our sensitivity because we have never truly learned how to care for it and I feel a huge element of this is knowing how and when to protect it (and ourselves). Deferring to our head or intellect is a defence mechanism and recovery is very much about learning to actually feel our emotions, and to be able to self-soothe during the tough times.

These early days are challenging and it is natural to flip between hope and despair. I think knowing this is natural is half the battle. It can take a while to feel safe enough to be vulnerable even if we are first class at honouring and supporting others when they are vulnerable. The joys of people-pleasing!

When pain is really bad do what you need to get through. Dr. Sarno used to suggest a glass of wine and an early night and it's advice I've taken many times. I've also found that crying, hot water bottles, cuddles, favourite movies all help me over the hump. Find what helps, what makes you feel better and embrace them till the pain eases. And read success stories in the Success Story Forum.

I haven't posted one yet but I do write about my recovery in My Story. It's not the conventional Sarno path but this is fine. Our healing path is as unique as we are.

You'll get there dede.

Plum x

 

I understand Dede and I miss my old life. We need to keep hope alive

 

Hi. I know. It is hard to have hope at times, with such severe pain but I'll keep trying

 

Would love to hear your stiry

Would love to hear your story. Thanks for advice, but my pain is so relentless i struggle to find comfort.

Would love to hear your story.!!!
Thanks for the pain advice. My pain is relentless, I rarely find comfort. I so hope
I can heal this

 

Thank you dearest plum. Would love to hear your story. I have such relentless pain, it is hard to find any comfort. I will keep trying. This has been torture

 

I am enjoying the entries!

 

dede, the keyword is tension. Anything you can do that eases your tension, be this mental, emotional or physical, will help. You may need to be persistent and you certainly need to cultivate patience.

I know the wretched state you are in. I entertained suicidal thoughts many times during my darkest days but I have come through and I have seen many others do so too.

I note from your posts that you have nerve pain. Mine is atypical trigeminal neuralgia and I am around 80% recovered which means I pretty much have my life back. I am fairly certain that if my life were less stressful the rest would melt away but this dramatic change in circumstance is unlikely and so I am devoted to ever-increasing gentle and softening practices. When you read my story you'll appreciate what I mean.

To read it, simply click on my avatar and towards the bottom left you'll see My Story. Click on that. Once you get passed the preamble you'll hopefully see why I greatly empathise.

Plum x

 

I've replied to your post on Day 14 of Alan's program. I'm on my phone so cannot link directly but you should receive an alert. Hopefully I can help you make some headway.