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Support and success :)

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by kev55555, Dec 26, 2014.

  1. kev55555

    kev55555 New Member

    I'm writing this because I'm having a flair up of my TMS. Long story short, I have had battles with TMS in the past, on par with what many people have talked about here. Pain in my arm, wrist, surgery on that arm, pain moved to other arm, etc etc, until it finally went away rather quickly after reading The Mind Body Prescription by Dr Sarno.

    Since then I have had a couple flair ups, but each time able to get it to go away pretty quickly. I see it as a sign I'm over stressed about something, I spend some time thinking about it, realizing there are some things being repressed and then the pain goes away!

    Well last time, I got it to go away pretty easily by writing a post very similar to this one (only last time I didn't have the balls to post it...hopefully I will this time and maybe help someone else while helping myself!)

    So this time, it's in a whole new spot! Tricky brain! Of course if it appeared in places like it had in the past I'd quickly see it was TMS. How smart of my mind to try and convince me by putting it into a new place. This time it's in my upper back, neck, shoulders. I have justified the pain and fed it by convincing myself it's because I sit so much at my job. I have been working a bit more recently, so sitting more, thus this makes sense.

    But why I believe it's TMS is:

    I've been working a LOT lately which = stress
    I had my best year career wise = stress to maintain or exceed next year
    I'm moving across country in a week = stress
    Moving in with my GF, never lived with a GF before = STRESS! (I love my girlfriend, but the child I'm sure is very annoyed when we have to make compromises or do things we don't want do because of her)

    And then there's just the other ones that are always there. I'm a perfectionist. I'm constantly striving to improve every area of my life and at times I can get very out of balance. Lately I have not had as much time for my child to come out and play. I have spend less time with friends that normal, less time playing music as I normally do, and on top of all of that I'm trying to live a more frugal life which means less going out to eat, buying things.

    Sounds to me like a a pretty obvious cause for a TMS flair up. I'm hoping writing this will help get some of the stress out.

    I will also try to attend the 3pm Saturday chat room -- that has worked well in the past, highly recommend it.

    The one thing I do struggle with is while I do believe 99% this is TMS, there's always the fear that this time, this pain in this new spot is real. How do you....and as I'm writing this I answer it myself. How do I know it's TMS? I do this, I do the chat room, I journal on it, I'll talk to my girlfriend about it, and hopefully get a good cry in. This is probably hard for some guys to admit to, but wow, its amazing how you can feel the stress leave the body with a good cry. And then we'll go from there. Within the next day or two I'll probably be able to see much of the pain go away and then I'll know more it's TMS.

    So that's what I'll do!

    But what do you guys do at first, when it's a new pain, in a new area? I know sitting is bad for me so it makes sense I'd have pain, what if it is real pain? (see I'm not totally 100% convinced it's TMS yet)

    Thank you
    Sienna likes this.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Kevin. Dr. Sarno says a new pain is from our subconscious moving pain around so we spend more time trying to
    learn its psychological cause (often it is from repressed emotions going back to our childhood). But as you say,
    you also are a perfectionist, and that is a big cause of TMS pain.

    You also have to work on believing 100 percent that your symptoms are psychological, from TMS, and not structural.

    I go along with what you say about feeling better after a good cry, but I prefer a good laugh. I can laugh away stress fast,
    even if I'm not watching a funny movie or tv show (they aren't very funny anymore). I just tell myself to laugh and I do.

    You may have to see a doctor to learn if your pain isn't structural. If nothing wrong is found, you'll know it's TMS.
    Sienna likes this.
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Kevin,

    I hope the relief of a good cry blesses you. I can relate to that.

    You are "thinking psychologically," so you are doing the important work, including writing about it.

    I had a new symptom arise since my feet pain subsided, and that was "migraine" type head-aches. With this, I was unconscious at first that it was TMS. So I believed my mind about the "things that caused it" and how it was a valid thing to fear and try to avoid, by avoiding the supposed "triggers."

    What helped me was to
    1)see that what I thought was a trigger for me, was never a trigger for others (in my case observing lighting up close at night in my lookout job). I have to tell you that sitting does not hurt me Kevin, nor most people, FWI :)

    2)I don't add fuel to the fire if symptoms arise: I observe my pain, and the fear around it, and deeper, I observe that I think that I shouldn't "have this, because I've whipped TMS, so I must not be doing Sarno work right." When I see this deeper layer, I can then have enough awareness to see that it is this pressure to perfect that is probably causing the symptoms to linger, and I can focus on why this deep attitude of perfectionism and self-rejection is the "cause" of my pain. Not lighting.

    Hope this helps. Remember this TMS work is a process, and for many it reveals more and more of our inner structures and our resistance to self-acceptance over time. This can be an exiting journey.
    Sienna likes this.
  4. Dahlia

    Dahlia Well known member

    I had the same situation where for the last 3 months I've been waffling about is it TMS or not. This last week I think I've finally gotten some traction and gotten more convinced that it must be TMS. At first, my default attitude was that it MUST be TMS and tried to continue with normal activities as much as possible. But this time that didn't work and I slipped into more-and-more believing it was not.

    One thing that helped the most in turning this around I think is noticing the inconsistencies in the pain. In other words, noticing that sometimes I would have it and sometimes not. It helped that my husband would point that out to me as well. The other thing that has helped is returning to this forum. And the third thing is talking to it in a new way: I tell it that I know it is not real. And finally, I've increased my study and practice of mindfulness meditation, living in the moment, accepting what is, challenging my thoughts that the world should be different.

    Hope any of this is helpful to you.
    Sienna and Ellen like this.

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