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suffering while healing

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Boston Redsox, Dec 17, 2015.

  1. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    Why does there need to be so much pain and suffering during tms healing?
    why do people need to suffer with pain anxiety whatever . I don't understand why medication is such a voodo . Ho w can people feel there emotions and work on there life if they are not getting sleep and dealing with pain 24/7 sorry but we are not all super human. It just puzzles me how many people are suffering and not taking something to help. I am sorry but there is no amount of mediation breathing or whatever to help when you are in serious pain or depression. I like to know why the tms model wants this. To me and my opinion only Dr Hanscom agrees and guides people to a process.
    Any feed back is always appreciated I am really stuck and going threw a lot of emotional issues that is raising anxiety and anger. I am dealing with this issues in a better light and attitude but the increase pain and depression is causing a huge amount of fear not on me believing I have tms but just the fact things are escalting where the tms modality and techniques dont even put a dent in them. I still go about my day but I am having incrediable highs and low that I can not handle just being with it. Spoke to my Dr and said its time to medicate you and get your body back in control my blood pressure is 210/105 and i cant settle down. I feel like my brain knows the pain does not effect me and its attacking me with depression and increase anxiety.
    Markus likes this.
  2. inymyfruitcup

    inymyfruitcup New Member


    Believe me, I know how hard it is.
    Let me just suggest something: stop trying to understand it. It's not a very logical process, TMS that is. Your subconscious mind is not a logical mind. Your conscious mind is. By trying to understand it, you are only feeding TMS. You are making your pain worse.

    There's a teaching in Buddhism about "the second arrow". The second arrow is the pain we bring to an "injury".

    Here is an except from the wonderful Thich Nhat Hahn Book, No Mud, No Lotus

    “There is a Buddhist teaching found in the Sallatha Sutta, known as The Arrow. It says if an arrow hits you, you will feel pain in that part of your body where the arrow hit; and then if a second arrow comes and strikes exactly at the same spot, the pain will not be only double, it will become at least ten times more intense.

    The unwelcome things that sometimes happen in life—being rejected, losing a valuable object, failing a test, getting injured in an accident—are analogous to the first arrow. They cause some pain. The second arrow, fired by our own selves, is our reaction, our storyline, and our anxiety. All these things magnify the suffering. Many times, the ultimate disaster we’re ruminating upon hasn’t even happened.

    We may worry, for example, that we have cancer and that we’re going to die soon. We don’t know, and our fear of the unknown makes the pain grow even bigger.

    The second arrow may take the form of judgment (“how could I have been so stupid?”), fear (“what if the pain doesn’t go away?”), or anger (“I hate that I’m in pain. I don’t deserve this!”). We can quickly conjure up a hell realm of negativity in our minds that multiplies the stress of the actual event, by ten times or even more.

    Part of the art of suffering well is learning not to magnify our pain by getting carried away in fear, anger, and despair. We build and maintain our energy reserves to handle the big sufferings; the little sufferings we can let go.

    If you lose your job, of course it’s a normal response to feel fear and anxiety. It is true that in most cases to be out of work is a suffering; and there is real danger attached if you don’t have enough to eat or can’t afford necessary medicine. But you don’t need to make this suffering worse by spinning stories in your head that are much worse than the reality. Some people in this situation may think “I’m no good at this or that,” or “I’ll never get another job,” or “I failed my family.” It’s important to remember that everything is impermanent.

    A suffering can arise—or can work itself out—for anyone at any moment. Instead of throwing good energy away on condemning yourself or obsessing over what catastrophes might be lurking around the corner, you can simply be present with the real suffering that is right in front of you, with what is happening right now.

    Mindfulness is recognizing what is there in the present moment. Suffering is there, yes; but what is also there is that you are still alive: “Breathing in, I know I’m alive.”

    Your eyes still work: “Breathing in, I’m aware of my eyes. Breathing out, I smile to my eyes.” To have eyes in good condition is a wonderful thing. Because you have eyes in good condition, there’s a paradise of shapes and colors….”

    You see, the same mind that can't understand TMS is the same mind that created it. It's the "type a" controlling "perfectionist" that caused it in the first place.

    I agree, deep breathing and meditation isn't a magic pill. In my opinion, the deep breathing and meditation is there to activate our sympathetic nervous system and give us some distance from the situation so that we don't have to be so trapped in trying to figure it out. Because TMS certainly isn't something that can be figured it's way out of. It takes trusting that TMS is what ails you, and then doing the work that gets you out of the TMS suppressing mindset.
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2015
    Thelauriebelle1 and Ellen like this.
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    thx you for your kind words and yes very familiar with the second arrow i listen Tara Brach and she mentions that often but sometime life is over whelming and it can really steam roll u over.

  4. inymyfruitcup

    inymyfruitcup New Member

    I'm no master at it yet, but I can definitely lessen my symptoms by really sitting down and looking at things through the lens of TMS.

    I have been meaning to put together a little card so that I can have something to remind myself to stay on track when I am having a hard time, but I haven't done it yet.

    Here are John Sarno's 12 daily reminders:
    1. The pain is due to TMS, not to structural abnormalities
    2. The direct reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation
    3. TMS is a harmless condition, caused by my repressed emotions
    4. The principle emotion is my repressed anger
    5. TMS exists only to distract my attention from the emotions
    6. Since my back is basically normal there is nothing to fear
    7. Therefore physical activity is not dangerous
    8. And I must resume all physical activity
    9. I will not be concerned or intimidated by the pain
    10. I will shift my attention from the pain to emotional issues
    11. I intend to be in control - not my subconscious mind
    12. I must think psychological at all times, not physical.
    I would probably put a few of the ones that really spoke to me. I really need to sit down and do it, otherwise I'll keep making excuses and be caught in the endless regenerating cycle of TMS.
  5. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    its been on my fridge for 4 years
    Thelauriebelle1 likes this.
  6. inymyfruitcup

    inymyfruitcup New Member

    Maybe make a version you can carry in your wallet. Think of these 12 points or any points you could come up with yoursef (sometimes things are more effective when tailored), as the "aspirin" or "pain killer" you would take in a moment of need.
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  7. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

  8. inymyfruitcup

    inymyfruitcup New Member

    Boston Redsox likes this.
  9. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    Marco if your blood pressure is as high as what u say it is, then u need proper medical intervention.

  10. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member


    i got it today needed to increase my blood pressure med and dr put me on anti anxiety meds. he kept me in is office gave me meds until stabilized he was going to admit me if it didnt drop. He said my anxiety is out of control and needs to be under control until any tms modalities can continue. Its was 180/110
    Thx Marla
  11. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    Glad to hear it has stabilised. Take care Marco.

  12. kyrani99

    kyrani99 Peer Supporter

    That blood pressure is too high so you do need to take the meds.
    But I am wondering if it is really anxiety.
    I found that anxiety was a mix of emotions either fear and worry or anger and worry.
    Both fear and anger raise the metabolism (so heart rate increases and blood pressure increases)
    Worry lowers the metabolism to give the brain an advantage over the musculature for fuel materials.
    Having this combination conflicts the heart because it gets signals to go fast and slow at the same time.
    Usually the effect makes the heart inefficient as a pump so while there might be a high heart rate there is not usually a high blood pressure.

    I would say that your problem is more to do with fear and/or anger AND a deeper breathing coping habit. In that case your heart is overexerted and this would lead to a higher blood pressure.
    I had this problem but in my case I resolved it over the years with meditation but this is a very long term solution. I don't know how good it would be for you in the short term.

    Are you journaling? And maybe if you set out a plan for dealing with coming issues. So you could set yourself a course that you are going to take for the various issues you have to face. This might give you some measure of control and the feeling of being in control, which should help you cope better and maybe breath better, i.e., resolve some of the deep breathing coping habit. However it is a habit and automatic. You might have to try and be as aware as you can each day without punishing yourself when you falter.
  13. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    thx you for your thoughtful for my BP ..i have been suffering increased pressure to upcoming divorce seliing and splitting of belongings and this as caused my anger and fear to rise substantially and yes i have jounaling and doing the 3 column writing set out in Dr Hanscom book which I find very useful....deep breathing is a great practice but for me it really as not done much to help my anxiety. So i focus on short meditation and checking in. I needed to change by bp med because i had a reaction so it elevated pretty quickly along with that my dr told me before I continue with the tms modality i needed to stop putting my body threw all this stress and medicate myself to lower limits and then continue. Seeing my tms journey as been numerous pitfalls and not much progress other than a slow change in type of pain and location which i know is a positive which i am thankful for which gives me some hope and you know what HOPE MEANS ....hold on pain ends.
    Thelauriebelle1 likes this.
  14. JacketSpud

    JacketSpud Peer Supporter

    You don't need to be in pain if painkillers help. Even Sarno said its ok to take something for the pain whilst doing the program.

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