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Sudden increase in pain, struggling

Ewok

Ewok

Peer Supporter
I've had pelvic pain for two years now and in the last week the pain has increased from about a 3/10 to an 8-9/10 and I'm really struggling. I don't understand what happened. In some ways, it's kind of a confirmation I have TMS? My doctor said my nerve is becoming more damaged. But I'm having a terrible time taking care of my kids, especially driving and even holding conversations. Pain medication is doing nothing for this nerve pain, except super strong drugs that pretty much just put me to sleep so I can only use them at night. I'm in a real panic, anxiety through the roof since the pain jumped and panicked how I'm meant to go on like this or even concentrate enough to work on emotions. All I can feel in horrid levels of pain. Can anybody offer any advice? I'm even shaking at times.
@ezer if you happen to be about, I have the same diagnosis you had and would appreciate any advice. I've been offered a nerve block tomorrow if I can't get the pain down to a manageable level and don't know what to do.
 
Has anything stressful emotionally happened in your life recently? (besides the pain) Or something currently happening that goes against your natural intuition that you might have overlooked? Usually an increase in symptoms is synonymous with a situation/confrontation that could be upsetting but we are repressing or ignoring. Your fear brain springs into action and goes to your default pain distraction because that has worked well before.
 
I'm sure I have more to say since pelvic floor pain is one of my main TMS issues, but real quick: I think if I were in your situation and had talked to my doctor (and had been told it was the same issue and nothing new), I would focus my energy on the stuff in Alan's Pain Recovery Program. I can totally understand not having the energy/will to look for the underlying emotions right now. Instead, helping address the fear of the pain itself and finding a way to stop the "how I'm meant to go on like this" thinking is something you can and should do right now. It's all about soothing at this point, letting your body and mind know that you are not in danger and finding a way not to be afraid/tense. I think that is the trailhead for your way out at this point.

That way the fear doesn't just make you more tense and compound on itself. So maybe reread the Pain Recovery Program and see if that helps peel back the most intense couple levels of pain.

Right now it's all about soothing and addressing fear. The rest of the emotional work can wait until you have more emotional energy to devote to it. I hope things release for you soon!
 
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Thank you for both your answers. I will think on them.

I'm so ashamed. I ended up having the nerve block today and now am in worse pain. I just want it to stop.
 
There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are just trying to look after yourself. I tried so many different treatments too but the one that worked was tms. This will pass, be gentle with yourself .
 
Pelvic pain is awful. It radiates through the whole core and feels like your very self is broken. If the pain was as severe as you described, then a nerve block is completely understandable. If only just to be able to breathe for a moment. To make that decision and have it not even work must have been really frustrating. I'm so sorry you're going through this!

You mentioning shaking reminds me of something. I had an unmediated labor, and there was a point where it hurt so bad and so constantly that my whole body shook and I kept reaching my arms out and grasping, like I was trying to claw my way out of my body, away from the pain. Every time I did that, my doula would get right in my face and say my name. Then she would say, "Breathe. Stop fighting the pain. Let it pass through you." I didn't even know what she meant, but I would take a belly breath and "stop fighting," even though I didn't know how, and...it worked. The pain obviously didn't disappear, but the edge did, and I could stay on top of the pain. Until the next time, when she had to remind me again, and then again. I learned from that experience that a lot of my pelvic and gut pain comes from me fighting it. When I stop fighting (I had no idea how until I started a meditation practice and read through the Pain Recovery Program), I see that the baseline of the pain is way less than what I had been experiencing. It was the fight (which I didn't even know I was having) that made it so much more tense.

It sounds like you are understandably engaged in a fight with your pain. I would be, too. But if the nerve block didn't work, and your doc is sure it's the same issue, then it sounds like the way out is through. It might be time to learn how to stop fighting. Which is different than giving up! It's realizing that there is no enemy there to fight in the first place. What's there is your body and your tension. Both of which need confident, unafraid love and presence in order to soften and know they are safe.

I hope clarity arrives soon and that the acute pain relaxes. Relapses are so very frustrating. Full of doubt and grief. We're here for you, Ewok!
 
Please be careful with so called "nerve blocks". As someone who have had multiple types of "blocks" , trigger point injections and prolotherapy, there are some of them that can be right dangerous and increase your pain. This all should be done under fluoroscopy by someone who have a big deal of experience. My first one was by someone that did it by "eye", no fluoroscopy machine, and was a mistake that only gave me more pain. If anything, it seems you anxiety is making your pain seem 10x worst. I know when there is constant pain it is difficult to try to relax, but you have to start by laying down on your bed and breathing deeply and doing the affirmations in the program. Take a hot bath with some aromatic salts or try to get a relaxing massage by a therapist. I have recommended before the book" the genie within " because it have specific relaxation exercises to get in touch with your subconscious and relax. Like birdsetfree asked, there must have been something going on right now on the back of your mind that you are not saying, that triggered this episode. It might be a conscious thing or a problem that you had recently and that brings shadows of a fear or anger that you had before. The first think you have to conquer is to feel the pain and observe it from a relaxed standpoint, and it will become less. Anxiety by itself promotes pain, so your first goal should be to relax and bring this anxiety down.
 
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm not sure if this will be helpful, but I listened awhile back to a podcast created by someone who had struggled with pelvic pain. I listened to it before I learned about TMS but I remember that the treatment definitely involved mindbody awareness. Just in case you're interested, it is available here: https://painopolis.com/page/2/ (Painopolis - The Podcast for People with Chronic Pain) On that page, the ones dated June 11 and June 18 are about the creator of the podcast & his experience with pelvic pain.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed by fear and panic, like you said, it can be hard to calm down enough to focus on anything. I've found that a couple of things help me when I feel like that: 1) doing something that feels productive related to TMS (reading a TMS book, listening to a podcast on the mindbody connection, etc.) - it helps me feel more hopeful. And 2) if I can focus enough, watching/listening to something funny - which sounds pretty obvious, but I often forget to try it when I'm really overwhelmed, and it often helps.

Sending you calming/healing vibes!
 
So sorry you're going through this. I had pelvic pain for several months and thankfully was able to move past it after I realized it was TMS and worked on developing outcome independence.

When I'd have pain spikes, I noticed it was when my anxiety ramped up (often times, the anxiety centered around my pain, which made my pain worse). Have you tried any guided relaxation or meditations before? I remember before I knew about TMS and when my pain got really high, that would be one of the few things that would help. It can help break the feedback cycle between your pain and anxiety, and help you let go of your anxiety. Hot baths also helped calm me down and lower my pain. Hope you find something that helps and your pain ramps down.
 
Ewok said:
Thank you for both your answers. I will think on them.

I'm so ashamed. I ended up having the nerve block today and now am in worse pain. I just want it to stop.
Click to expand...

Simply to give you a big cyber hug and the assurance not to beat yourself up. As @birdsetfree says, you have nothing to be ashamed of. When we're in pain and desperate to be out of it there are no end to the ways and means we will try to achieve it. I tried physical things to alleviate my mouth pain and while they didn't work, they did help me move closer to understanding and accepting TMS.

Remember all of our paths are unique so getting that combination right may take a little time, and trial and error. (If you want to reach ezer it may be better to PM him as that will send him an email. He'll only catch the mention when he's logged in here.)

This too shall pass sweetheart. It really will. Be of brave heart.

Much love,

Plum x
 
Thank you all for the kind words and advice. Sorry for my lack of reply until now. This flare did pass eventually but during that time more tests were ordered from the dr. A more detailed MRI. I got those results a few days ago - nothing seemed to be wrong with the pudendal nerve but they saw inflammation around it and a slightly enlarged vein. This terrified me and guess what? Another flare. I kinda get that this confirms it's TMS but the pain is so intense it scares me and makes it hard to work on. I will get there.
 
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Im sorry you have had more pain. I understand it can be frightening when it is intense. Time to up your self care and make sure you are addressing and acknowledging issues in your life that are uncomfortable and persistent. The correlation between your fear (which I assume came first when hearing your results) and your flare of pain is good evidence of tms. I would definitely use this to reassure yourself.
 
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