Day 25 Successes and Apprehensions

[LynnH]

I'm on day 25 and still feel like I am trying to find my way out of quicksand. Some of my successes are that I have walked several days in a row a couple of blocks and did not suffer spasms afterwards, I have been able to sweep one room a day for several days, I have become more active and have had several days of very low sciatic pain but it doesn't last. Also, I was very dependent on a heating pad several times a day and have been able to back way off of that for the last week. I helped my husband paint our kitchen cabinets and stain our fence. I went on vacation and did great the first half of the trip and awful the second half. Writing these out is good because I see that progress is being made just very slowly. I have also had success in speaking sternly to myself to knock off the sciatic pain but this is usually when I am fed up with the pain and angry but I have a hard time maintaining that attitude with myself.

My apprehensions of this process are in understanding how to think psychologically instead of physically. What does that mean? Am I to think about my anger or repressed emotions that I have discovered over and over again? That seems very depressing. I have several situations that in the past I have worked through and forgiven others for but when I take time to think about them again I get angry all over again and I wonder whether this is part of the process or not.

Another concern is that I feel like the other half of my problem is conditioning since I have technically been dealing with TMS, in one form or another, for three decades. I'm not quite certain of how to address this part of TMS.

As I'm sure you all know when the pain is screaming at you it is hard to remember all the positives and I think that is where I am at this evening. Hoping and praying that tomorrow is a brighter day.
Lynn

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Lynn. Dr. Sarno says we don't have to keep reminding ourselves of an emotion that causes us pain. So try not to go back over emotions you have discovered. You are making great progress, from all the activity you wrote about. I think that the more you pleasantly distract yourself doing things or thinking about things that give you pleasure, and not think about or monitor pain, the faster you will be free of pain and be healthier and happier than you ever imaged. That joyful condition is close for you.