Success Story? Maybe

So I got focused on TMS as my problem with RSI around December of last year. It was a 3 yr old problem. I got rededicated after getting fired from a very high paying job that I “just couldn’t” lose. Too important. Too many things to pay for. Consequences were just too damning. In my mind it was an outcome I could not except, but I fucking hated it(language may stay this way.). It quite literally was the bane of my existence. Much to do with the anxiety I felt because that scenario created insecurities. The reality and how it played out was so far from what I had convinced myself of.


It’s 10 months later. That lost job was right around the start of the holidays and effort prior to January were indeed wasted. Started a new job paying almost as much back in March. LOL. Maybe there is something to this outcome independence thing huh? I was wrong. I’d be wrong so many times during the unemployment stint.


I got maybe a little obsessive with the TMS approach to the point it was hampering my efforts to let go, but I did progress gradually, but not linearly. I had pain go to my lower back that was INSANE and DECEPTIVE. I made a post on this. I sure was confused. It WAS TMS. That little bastard has shown himself a few more times when major progress was made. Had me doubting a couple times.


I even have some pain in my shoulders now that is...strange. TMS? Seems likely.


Oh yea, the RSI. 90% gone or so. Just little something to remind me of it I suppose now. Been weeks since a real flare up, but there’s no shred of doubt about its origins anymore.


So beyond getting educated on this forum what worked? Let go of all forced outcomes even if it means life changes that seem unbearable. In fact especially if it feels that way. Toxic relationship? Move on. Hate where you live? Move. Hate your job? It’s just a fucking job. Means next to nothing. You won’t starve.


Measuring progress? STOP! You can’t. In fact come to terms with the fact this is likely a lifelong problem. Swallow that pill and decide how you will proceed knowing this. I do believe I will deal with this problem the rest of my life. Hopefully it’s at a marginal level like now. Get busy living or get busy dying. Those are your choices.


Cut out external influences on you. Advertising? Toxic. Negative people? Same.


Get therapy. I did TMS therapy for a while, and it was helpful. Another person explaining what I had already taught myself, but in her words. I eventually connected the dots between TMS wiki and CBT. I’ve read a few books on the matter. It’s helped my mental state immensely. This wiki is scratching the surface there. The root of your problem is the way you react to uncomfortable things. Learn to be ok with being uncomfortable. We are not meant to be so pampered the way life is these days. Temporary discomfort is OK so don’t fight it. That directly relates to your TMS pain.


I highly recommend the book by Mark Manson called the “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck.” Very helpful to me. I hope this post is helpful for someone else. I used to think about making a success story. It was a goal. Eventually I realized I was doing that to seek validation from others for my work put in. That held me back. I no longer need this. I just decided I’d like to help somebody.

 

"Learn to be ok with being uncomfortable"....HOLY CRAP, this really resonates with me. I've spent my entire life trying to avoid the uncomfortable and confrontation, anger, rage. Thank you for sharing your story, and advice.

 

So you are fleeing emotions that are uncomfortable. That creates the panic in the brain that manifests itself as pain. Just recognize that YOU are merely observing those thoughts and emotions. Those are often formed by influences on you out of your control. No need to give them much attention.

I honestly think TMS should simply be treated similarly to that blanket term of depression. CBT seems to be the most successful method there.

I still have my good and bad days with TMS, as it has manifested itself in other odd ways. RSI type symptoms I can prettt much laugh at.

I’m learning that this is an exercise in mental fitness. I start slacking I end up with symptoms and confusion. Get back to reading and learning about psychology and I snap out of it.

I do consider myself a success story as I agreed with the TMS therapist that success started when I changed 0% of my life in response to TMS. Ugly truth is that it’s going to rear it’s head from time to time. I get to choose how to respond.

 

Great post Joe! I am happy for your hard-won success. You point to many important elements, as I read this. I think knowing that I am always a little prone to TMS and accepting that helps relax the "pusher" and "perfectionist" inside. I don't have to "be anything" in particular to enjoy life and know my own loving nature. Thank you.
Andy B

 

Way to go tms joe!

 

Thanks everyone. I’m currently listening to this book.

https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808

I had no idea it was going to dig into the mindbody connection at all. I had to rewind. Sure enough he goes in and explains exactly how the mind causes physical pain and how to shut it down. It’s explained in a different perspective than what I had read previously. I highly recommend it to those with TMS.

 

I figured this thread was worth updating. TMS pain doesn’t play a significant role in my life any longer. The same pains I experienced pop up here and there to differing degrees. They are just a small annoyance that I don’t have any reason to worry about , but the biggest hurdle was realizing I can’t DO anything to fix TMS. I just have to have awareness about it being there, and for me, WHY it’s there. Then you do absolutely nothing. No thinking, and the pain will go away.

There was a bigger picture though. If you experience TMS pain you have some mental health issues. I’ve learned that I mist always be vigilant in working on my mental health just like staying physically fit.

That book The Power Of Now by a Eckhart Tolle has changed my life. I read it almost 2 years ago and experienced bliss for a week. I just couldn’t understand a lot of what was said.

A few months ago I read it again and understood more. Freedom from anxiety again. This continues to happen. For me, and I expect a huge amount of people, I had too much of a sense of entitlement, etc. Big ego, but not in the way popular culture defines ego. Eventually I was able to break it down, which was PAINFUL. It was painful physically and emotionally for me, which makes sense as someone with TMS. I could see the truth in everything. Everything I was biased about and not truthful with myself. My subconscious was there for me to observe.

That state hasn’t stayed constantly with me, but it was the catalyst for change, both in seeing the way forward and motivation growing inside. I actually became spiritual.

I post this in hopes in helps people. I can relate to the suffering many people on here are experiencing. It’s needless but awful at the same time. Your identity is wrapped up in it which strengthens it. I can’t even believe I can go for days or a week with zero anxiety these days. I thought the rest of my life would be suffering. I was sure of it.

 

Excellent post totally relate to it. Has really helped me reading it and reinforced everything I thought cheers

 

Thank you for that post. I listened to the audio version of the Power of Now again a few days ago and it’s message is true. Although I still struggle with TMS I am healing, it’s just taking a long time....

 

That is awesome. I can relate to it. Thank you for posting.