I don't know if anyone else has this issue, but... I just realized how terrifying success is to me. In my employment, I have always seen success and each time it is followed by an emotional or physical decline. In my current work, I have been amazed and gratified with the success of my efforts in the past 4 years. But it has also lead to more severe episodes- my back 'goes out' at least twice per year. I have followed up with doctors and have faithfully gone to physical therapy. Today, I was congratulating myself on 1/2 hour workout in the gym- nothing terribly strenuous- mostly treadmill on a low setting- when I felt a very familiar spasm in my back. I am 'afraid' that the success won't last. That it's fleeting. I know, in my conscious mind, that this is false, (since all my job successes have been lasting ones) but I'd like to convince my whole self that I can embrace success without fear. Any thoughts, suggestions? Thanks!