Stuck

[Bagpuss]

Hi all,
I'm feeling very stuck at the moment and looking for advice. I developed back pain which debilitated me last year. Stopped all my activities, work often drove me to tears as sitting was unbearable. All tests clear. After about 4 months of trying everything to get better I discovered Sarno and The Way Out. I returned my my activities slowly, pain started to reduce. Work is a big source of stress and I worked on addressing this.
I then got covid and had a long sinus infection and ended up with daily headaches, head tension and face pain. Sinus infection has gone but daily headaches/jaw ache are driving me nuts.
Over the last few weeks my body has started clicking all over every time I move. Back pain did try and return but I found by responding to it calmly it did reduce, this doesn't work for other pain though. Despite being very active (hiking/ bouldering/ caving) my muscles/or tendons are very tight.
I've not had a pain free day since I started the work and I'm struggling to maintain positivity. I have tried somatic tracking in a lighthearted way, without getting too obsessive.
I have some anxiety that I'm too old to do the activities I'm doing and that could be causing damage (I'm early 40s) but I've tried to counteract that with more positive thoughts.

It's a bit of a rambly post I'm afraid, I'm just looking for some hope or suggestions of what else I can try. A PRT therapist would probably be a good step, but they aren't that common in the UK and I can't afford it. I am starting psycology with pain services soon but the sessions will be very limited. I've had some difficult experiences in my past which do impact on how I handle certain day to day things like intrusive noise.

 

[Cactusflower]

Hi @Bagpuss
Welcome!
“Driving Me Nuts” -there’s a phrase that should be highlighted.
You may need to re-read the Way Out and look particularly at elements of attitude towards your pain. Alan discusses this when he talks about his own pain.
This is resistance. You are resisting elements of the program and hyper focusing on the pain and attaching emotions to the pain instead of feeling emotions about the stuff that makes you emotional.
It’s stress.. and you know how to deal with it because you successfully dealt with the back pain and its attempts to also get your attention again.
Alan’s program has many really great elements, but maybe not all of it is quite what you need, maybe there are other TMS skills that will help.
I posted this today, and suggest you especially listen to the end, and her suggestions for expressive writing.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/but-nothing-is-working-and-my-pain-is-getting-worse.28505/#post-149229 (But...nothing is working and my pain is getting worse!)

SIRPA has all kinds of therapists, many of whom incorporate Alan Gordon’s ideas even if they are not certified by has course.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I posted this today, and suggest you especially listen to the end, and her suggestions for expressive writing.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/but-nothing-is-working-and-my-pain-is-getting-worse.28505/#post-149229 (But...nothing is working and my pain is getting worse!)

@Bagpuss, I also highly recommend the follow up response from @Diana-M on this thread.

Adopting a writing practice may indeed be the missing tool in your experience. We have additional recommendations for that!

 

[Bagpuss]

@Bagpuss, I also highly recommend the follow up response from @Diana-M on this thread.

Adopting a writing practice may indeed be the missing tool in your experience. We have additional recommendations for that!

I think the difficulty is that it's not always that simple to change situations that are attributing to tms. I live in a noisy neighbourhood which I hate and is a massive source of stress, we have sold our house and will be moving to somewhere quiet but it's such a long process. My job which is also part of what's making me unhappy is something I can't changed till after we have moved as we would be refused borrowing if finances suddenly changed in the middle of the process. I have accepted it's something I need to change as soon as I am able to. My understanding of the process is that it's not necessarily about changing everything but acknowledging the problem/ how it's making you feel..

 

[Bagpuss]

Hi @Bagpuss
Welcome!
“Driving Me Nuts” -there’s a phrase that should be highlighted.
You may need to re-read the Way Out and look particularly at elements of attitude towards your pain. Alan discusses this when he talks about his own pain.
This is resistance. You are resisting elements of the program and hyper focusing on the pain and attaching emotions to the pain instead of feeling emotions about the stuff that makes you emotional.
It’s stress.. and you know how to deal with it because you successfully dealt with the back pain and its attempts to also get your attention again.
Alan’s program has many really great elements, but maybe not all of it is quite what you need, maybe there are other TMS skills that will help.
I posted this today, and suggest you especially listen to the end, and her suggestions for expressive writing.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/but-nothing-is-working-and-my-pain-is-getting-worse.28505/#post-149229 (But...nothing is working and my pain is getting worse!)

SIRPA has all kinds of therapists, many of whom incorporate Alan Gordon’s ideas even if they are not certified by has course.

I have recently reread it. I very much acknowledge and think about my feelings about life stuff outside of the pain. I can start my day with complete lightness towards the pain but it's incredibly hard to maintain that lightness day in day out.

 

[Diana-M]

it's incredibly hard to maintain that lightness day in day out.

Hi @Bagpuss
Oh, you are so right! It is phenomenally hard! I keep saying to myself that TMS is a battle of will. My will to remain positive in the face of this current circumstance of TMS. And even to think that having TMS is a positive experience. It all takes a lot of discipline to keep the positive, soothing headtalk going.

I just read The Way Out and I loved it. Alan’s approach has really resonated with me. But it hasn’t been all I’ve needed. I think this journey requires a multitude of various avenues and techniques, specific to each person. There are so many great ideas in this forum. I’ve gleaned a lot from perusing on a regular basis. Good luck!

 

[Cactusflower]

1. Stop the buts. Your answer above is a but. You read the book but are not yet able to implement all the strategies. No buts. Work on it.
2. Thinking about emotions is not feeling them. Look at the link I provided and watch the video. Gordon’s approach is fine, but you can also augment his program to make it actually work for you. There are no hard and fast TMS rules about method. But you do need to be curious and be able to be vulnerable and completely honest with yourself. Thinking (and overthinking) is an anxiety trait.
3. For anxiety read a book by Claire Weekes
4. You need to stop “fixing” fixing is looking for external answers to solve your internal current dilemma of pain. I think you are hanging on to untrue beliefs eg that moving and changing jobs are the answer. You can actually become pain free in your current situation, and this is 100% true. You can do it, but you believe you can’t. That’s not to say you don’t want these changes, which is fine.. but be curious and consider that you may, as a person hang on to untrue beliefs.
5. I suggest you research Dr. Schubiner’s 5 F’s. He worked with Alan Gordon on the Boulder Pain Study and deals more with the emotional side of TMS work than Gordon does.

I’d love to hear what you think after watching the video, reading the accompanying thread, and looking at Schubiner’s 5 F’s.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

@Cactusflower had the same reaction to your two responses that I did, @Bagpuss - I immediately noticed the Yes, But... in each one. I call this YBS, which is Yes, But... Syndrome, and of course I've developed this acronym because it's so common. You are not alone in doing this!

The thing is, YBS is a brick wall in the path of recovery, and a sign that victimhood may be a factor. You want to avoid victimhood at all costs, because it is anathema to recovery!

My understanding of the process is that it's not necessarily about changing everything but acknowledging the problem/ how it's making you feel..

This is the key. You know this rationally, you now need to work on recognizing when your unconscious negative brain wants to negate it and throw you back into fear and resentment.

it's incredibly hard to maintain that lightness day in day out.

It is difficult, because our brains are literally wired to be negative and to constantly be anticipating danger and threats. Lower your expectations and don't be so hard on yourself when your expectations are not met. Practice patience and kindness towards yourself and acknowledge that life is not easy!

Nicole Sachs LCSW is the one who reminds us to practice kindness and patience for ourselves. She also says, regarding chronic pain vs the emotional pain being repressed, that "Life is a choice between what hurts, and what hurts worse".

 

[Mitocondria]

Mi esposa (que es un alma muy sabia) me recuerda que los acontecimientos de mi vida diaria son solo eso, acontecimientos. Soy yo quien controla cómo me afectan.

Fácil de decir, extremadamente difícil de implementar (and feel it, even more).

I feel very identified with the body that makes clicks. I was also like this for 6 months and my thoughts were very catastrophic. Do I have something serious? Tests and more tests, everything came back with no findings.

I made the same mistake as you: thinking about my emotions and not feeling them. A trick that helps is to relax in bed, breathe for 5 minutes and "scan" your body. Emotions usually manifest themselves with tension (stomach, head, rapid heartbeat...)

At least, this way, you "feel" the emotion. And you don't just think about it with your rational part. That helps.

When I'm in a very negative spiral (anxiety), it helps me to do 3 sessions of 20 minutes a day of diaphragmatic breathing (there are many apps that guide you). 4 seconds inhalation, 8 exhalation is what works for me. Everyone has to find their sweet or ideal point/rhythm.