Day 24 Struggling

[zero76]

I am so tired of being in pain and it's so hard to stay positive. I am exhausted, both from the constant pain and from the lack of sleep - due to the pain and my youngest child. They take turns waking me up all night, and I am aware of my anger over this.

I thought I had a break through a few days ago. I was having some weird facial tingling and numbness all day, much like I experienced at the dentist a few weeks ago. I didnt get too distracted by it, and it went away. The next day I had a rare two hours to myself and I did some good but hard journaling. I felt a lot better that day. But the pain has gradually returned to where it was.

I want to try to move more but just standing upright is too painful. I've started riding my bike a little but am unsure of how else to get moving. I am so frustrated by not being able to do the most basic things Anymore. I keep reading that I should think psychological when the pain comes, but the pain rarely leaves!

I also feel like my family and friends are losing their patience and sympathy for me since I am refusing surgery and haven't scheduled another dr appt. I try not to show that I'm hurting but its difficult when I can't stand upright! They think this TMS thing is silly and I am just being stubborn.

 

[PamD]

Hi Zero76,
Thanks for the post. So glad you are reaching out by posting your experiences. It can be difficult when others put down TMS or anything we believe in. Good job getting on your bike.

 

[Ryan]

Don't let others bring you down or make you feel like what your doing will not work. Keep looking at your life and accept where you are right now even though it sucks.

Where you think you should be in life and where your at now, there is your tension. Sometimes it's ok to be down and in pain, acceptance of where your at now. Instead of constantly fighting brings about tension/anger inside. Tms healing takes courage and time, which is hard for tmsers to do. It took you a lifetime to get tms so don't expect it to leave so soon.

Keep looking at your relationships in life, including the one with yourself. Let go of focus on the body and symptoms. Find what techniques to calm your mind and body that work for and use them. If you have not read the great pain deception, read it. It's the best tms book in my eyes.

Wishing you the best of luck and hope you get some relief soon. You can do it, just let go of what modern medicine has told you, step into the unknown. Be easy on yourself and live for each day. We are what we believe.

Ryan

 

[zero76]

Thanks for the responses. Yes I have read the great pain deception and it was very helpful to me. I also read healing back pain and the mindbody prescription, and have 3 more TMS books on the way. I think part of my struggle is that I like very clear, black and white instructions and this TMS thing seems to be so different for everyone, and so different from anything I've ever done. I'm doing the SEP but I still don't feel very "structured" about it. I'm trying to be patient but I don't know if it just needs time to sink in, or if I need to try a different approach, or if I need to just stop trying so much. clearly, I need to relax.

 

[Ellen]

Where you think you should be in life and where your at now, there is your tension.

Perfect one sentence summary of the cause of TMS, @Ryan

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Zero. I think you put your finger on the problem. You are impatient to achieving healing and wish it could happen from just taking a pill. We all wish that. But when pills and surgery and physical therapy or acupuncture doesn't work, we have to believe that TMS is the answer. It takes time and work
but it gets us to the wonderful finish line of healing. You'll get there. Try not to stress that it's a slow process. That's what it is for most of us who have healed. The approach you have to take is the same one we have all taken... total belief in TMS and the emotional effort put in to discover what our repressed emotions are. We don't even have to resolve those issues. Dr. Sarno says we just have to discover them.