Struggling

I've posted several times about this, but I'm struggling right now. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and having intense SI joint/buttock pain. I know all about TMS and I've employed several strategies to get SI joint pain on the opposite side to go away. I don't know how to deal with this pain because I go back and forth all day on whether its TMS or the baby/pregnancy. I feel fearful, defeated, and frustrated that I'm having this. I've had lots of back pain since I was 25 years old and I'm sick of it. I want to live a normal, pain free life and I feel like I worked really hard to finally get it and now I'm having this again. It's draining and makes me not want to take care of my toddler because I'm in pain. HELP!!

 

Hi there, I don't know if you've conciously recognised how powerful your post is, but please take note:

1. I don't know how to deal with this pain, I go back and fourth.
2. I feel fearful, defeated, frustrated.

A constant state of fear, frustration and doubt will keep you in the cycle of pain. If you shift your thinking into a more organic and natural state of mind , focusing on the pleasant things in your life, loved ones, your natural surrounds you can learn to escape the very emotions that trigger your pain.

3. I work really hard to get it.

Our pain is a manifestation of years of unhealthy habits; lack of being mindful, pleasing others, mis channeling emotions etc. To overturn such programing requires one to be gradual in approach, being compassionate, loving etc to oneself - full change doesn't happen overnight, but you can at least initiate it.

The very emotions you've described are the ones that are triggering your pain and fueling your fight or flight response.

Best regards,

 

Cogirl, I like Mike's reply of encouragement. Stuff fear, frustration, and doubt.
There are some excellent videos on Youtube about those subjects and also about worry.
Focus on pleasant things, loved one, and loving your toddler and the new baby to come. You are blessed to be a mother. You will be fine with both the children. Keep telling yourself that and it will get you well again.

 

Cogirl,

It sounds like there's a really good chance that this is TMS but (and you may have already done this) you may benefit from seeing your obstetrician to share your symptoms and get their opinion on if the pregnancy is having an effect. The nice thing is that getting that kind of feedback will go a long way in informing how you approach the pain. If the doctor think's it's due to the pregnancy, it could be important to use their recommendations for pain relief during this specific period of time - knowing that this should end with pregnancy.

If they can't give you anything conclusive as to what's going on, it's a further clue that this is TMS and you can continue doing the psychological work (I'm sure you're doing).

Most importantly, getting feedback right now from your doc can give you some peace of mind.

PS. If you do talk to your obstetrician, notice what happens to the pain afterwards, if it gets better or worse after a consult (with no manipulation or drug intervention), it's usually one more sign that you can add to an evidence list that this could be TMS!

Best,

Andrew

 

Cogirl,

I suffer from the same exact thing. I'm sure you can tell from my picture that I'm not pregnant, nor do I think I ever will be. Man, ya gotta laugh when you deal with TMS.

So, I've successfully applied the work of Sarno and others to my lower back pain. After many years of chronic pain in the lower back, Sarno saved my life!

About three years ago, I thought I injured my tailbone on a rowing machine doing Crossfit. The pain has been with me since. Accompanying that pain is a constant burning and aching in my butt. My triggered response to sitting is tailbone and butt pain. Walking, running, gardening, tennis, none of those things bother me. Sometimes lying down bothers me. The old school gym sit-ups are my hell.

I have evidence that it's TMS. When I got my hernia surgery, the tailbone/butt pain went completely away for 3 or 4 weeks...I was on pain killers for only the first week. Another time I went pain free is when I had a relapse of lower back pain (TMS induced) and it took my focus off the tailbone and butt for about 2 or 3 weeks.

I take a train into work and I sit a lot at my desk, for years I have used that to conclude that a structural problem is being irritated. I no longer believe that. When I lost my job a year ago or so, I went through a few months with no pain, granted I was sitting less, but the truth is, all signs of pain went away (which is uncommon for me)...I attribute it to not having any job responsibilities.

My pain today, sitting at my desk, trying to work all day, is terrible. I have had a very bad day for tailbone/butt pain. But what I do have is belief. And I have hope. I am doubling down on Sarno and other great books and resources (including this site). I love The Great Pain Deception...it has helped me so much to recommit myself to this diagnosis and the action plan back to health.

Since doubling my efforts I have noticed the characteristics and patterns of my pain has changed...I got it on the run, I'm beating it, I'm gonna beat it. It's trying to morph into something else which means the jig is up.

What I found in my belief is my willingness to throw everything at it. IN the Great Pain Deception the author talks about doing the very things that brought the most pain. So I have committed to doing the old school gym situps every morning and every night until this pain in my tailbone is gone. It's working! I'm not letting the things that put pressure on my tailbone, when I would normally brace for impact, scar me or stop me from taking action.

When TMS has you scared and immobilized...you're losing the fight...when you act in spite of your fear you're winning the battle.

Fight the good fight, double down on your efforts, get some new resources, be willing to believe even more, find a way to buy-into the diagnosis without any reservation, any lurking notion in the back of your head that says maybe it's the pregnancy.

I believe in the unlimited potential each and every one of us sufferers has to heal. We are our own healers....GO HEAL!

 

Thank you everyone for your responses. They all resonated with me and I read and re-read them all. Sometimes I just really need the encouragement. SI joint pain is an extremely common side effect of pregnancy and usually it goes away right after delivery, so I guess if it doesn't then, I'll know it's TMS. Today, I had a better day with it until right now. I sat on the floor and that lately has been doing it for me. It sends shockwaves through that area. I have a long history with TMS, so it's very possible it's a little of both. I know the fear, frustration, etc. is TMS trying to real me back in. I have done very well with getting back to running and having an independent outcome with the pain until the past few weeks ago. I really hope I can beat this thing once and for all! It's come and gone for several years and I'm tired of thinking about it. Right now, I'm in the mode of fearing that it will come back when I have two kids and am sleep deprived. I know that's TMS trying to make me scared again too... Do you all think we can really heal from this all together?!

 

Excellent! So you have had some success, with running. Try and remember your positive achievements, however small they are.

I think anything is possible, but alot depends on getting ones mind in an organic and neutral state; one without fear, anger or the influence of ego. Secondly, it depends on your definition of healing, whilst some manage to be pain free, others are quite happy with regaining their quality of life and feeling 95% better.

I guess it all depends on the individual. I personally think, for a full recovery, some may not only need to change their thinking, but how one manages their relationships, however challenging they may be.

Btw, have you signed up to the Free Mindfulness Summit which commences tomorrow? I'd strongly advise to, if you haven't already done so. Meditation will help you become more aware of when you are fearful etc and to observe without passing judgement.

 

Mike2014 - I did have a lot of success with TMS when I wasn't pregnant. I overcame it several times and was in a good place with it for several months of the beginning of the pregnancy. I know that this pain is really common in pregnancy and up to 70%-80% of women have low back pain that goes away with delivery. That's why I'm struggling with it. Some days are much better than others. Yesterday was a pretty good day while today, I already have a new sharp-type pain. There is a ton of pressure on my pelvis with the baby and everything going on that both case scenarios make sense on why I would be having the pain. If I know it's pregnancy-related, I would help solve it by chiropractic and massage. Whereas, if it's TMS, I know that's reinforcing the pain. This is where my dilemma lies.

 

COgirl, Dr. Sarno says it's okay to get some medication or chiro and massage to help relieve pain, but at the same time believe it is from TMS and not structural.