struggling with the steps

I found out recently that I struggle with TMS. Apparently I've had it for many years.
I was run over by a forklift 26 years ago and suffered a severe crush injury to my leg and the pain is still with me. It's migrated to various other parts of my body over the years. I've been seeing doctors the entire time. We've tried EVERYTHING. I've also tried all the holistic approaches I could think of. At my wits end, I happened across a retreat in the mountains where Dr. Schubiner was speaking and found (in a very short time) that this is all TMS. I'm extremely relieved to find that there's nothing wrong with me. And extremely angry that it took 26 years to find the right path. Now I just need to conquer this. I've had remarkable results already. Literally the day I learned about this, my pain disappeared. It is coming back in spurts since then.
I'm working through the Unlearn Your Pain book and am struggling with the writing portion. I'm not a writer and feel pretty uncomfortable about it. I'm leaning toward not doing that step and concentrating more on meditation, mindfulness, self-talk and positive thinking. And I'm working on being kinder to myself.
I also think I might benefit by seeing a therapist, but the process of finding the right person is quite overwhelming to me.
Perhaps someone can guide me in how to find a good therapist that specializes in TMS without spending tons of money or time? I live at least 80 miles from the nearest therapist listed on the directory here. And I wouldn't know who to start with anyway. How in the world do you decide who to even make the first call to? The stress and anxiety about this one step is really overwhelming me.
I think I'm doing really well with the positive parts of this process, but I do have a huge pile of issues that I'm sure need to be dealt with from my past.

 

Hi mtea1,

First, it is important to know that many people find very quick relief, then have symptoms reappear. I think you're doing the right thing to "dig deeper" with Dr. Schubiner's book, which is almost like "therapy in a box." If you can see this process as learning more about yourself, and put less emphasis on making the pain go away, this is helpful.

Your anxiety about reaching out is normal. Many therapists and coaches (like me) are happy to spend a few minutes on the phone to see what your needs are, and if we're a good fit. Most do long-distance work via skype. Each practitioner has their particular strengths. Seeing that you want to be sure, and there is anxiety about this can be held with compassion too. It is natural that you want the best help, and are concerned about money.

Dr. Schubiner's book asks you to go deep, and for people with less experience --and those more experienced too, in this kind of work, assistance is often very beneficial. You can work through the parts which are less stressful right now, and move into the other stuff later, if it is overwhelming. But the psychodynamic work seems to be calling you!

In the long run, although it is scary, and you want support, the deeper work takes you closer to your true strength and love, is a life-time growing opportunity which is inviting you in. Many people here will confirm this.

In the big picture, you are fortunate to have found this TMS work, and have the symptom relief you've experienced. You are on your way!

Andy B

 

Thank you for reminding me to focus more on learning about myself and less about making the pain go away. I read that but I've read so much. And there is so much to change in the way I've been thinking and moving through my life. I know it will take time.
I agree that something is pulling me to explore events in my past and perhaps work through them more than I thought I already had. I see connections in my processing of these events and my stress and pain. Perhaps I am trying to move too quickly. I think I'll slow down, work on a changing my way of thinking and processing events. Then look into some professional guidance in a few weeks.
Is there a way I can reach back out to you at some point? I'm entirely new to this forum process. I generally only stick to email and conversations. I don't do social media. Sharing in a public way is pretty foreign to me and I guess a bit uncomfortable.

 

mtea1,

I think you're taking a good path.

You can email me at abayliss@mind.net. Or call 541-821-6218.

Andy B

 

Steps? I don't think that just because many people find writing helpful that writing per se has to be an essential "step." I'm not a strong writer, it is a struggle for me. Therefore journaling isn't an important healing activity for me. BUT I consider myself a TMS success. Keep exploring this knowledge and follow your gut how to really integrate this new different outlook.

 

Even though I’ve spent the last 11 years writing and editing my memoir about my pain journey, I can’t seem to do the journaling thing. I was compelled to write the memoir but struggle to do more journaling now. Is it because I’m afraid to go deep or into things that scare me?? I’ve gone quite deep with all my past writing, in talk therapy, and through mindbody work (Sarno, Ozanich, Brady, Schubiner, John Barnes’ myofascial release, Somatic Experiencing, and EMDR).

I feel that some things work better for some people than other things do. I agree with comment above that maybe each “step” isn’t mandatory.

Even though it soumds counter to Sarno, I’ve found bodywork to be a critical piece for me. It helped me dig deep into my subconscious—somewhere I couldn’t access by only writing and talking and thinking.

Just thought I’d share my experience. Feel free to contact me directly if you’d like, as I’m happy to share my story and experience.

I can’t say I have all the answers as I’m still working on eliminating that last bit of lingering pain, but I’ve been at this for a while and I guess I can at least share my personal experience.

You can also read my personal website that describes my journey if you'd like: https://healingfromchronicpain.com

Good luck!!

 

I appreciate your input. I'm getting better all the time at listening to the voice inside me and it apparently thinks I need a good therapist. I'll skip the writing for now and see if I can find someone. That's my biggest challenge at the moment - finding the right fit, someone I can relate to and is versed in TMS.