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Struggling with dealing with conflict!

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by BBDiesel, Aug 25, 2016.

  1. BBDiesel

    BBDiesel New Member

    I am wanting to understand why I am so super affected over a conflict that I had with my neighbour who lives on the same floor. After a long time steaming about an ongoing issue (his dogs kept peeing in front of our hallway carpet), I finally told the manager and she escalated the issue and told him that I was the one who reported the issue. I know I am in the right with what happened but I still feel terrible and guilty about him telling me that I am a rat for reporting it etc. I never had any problem with nobody in our building and I mind my own business. We have a dog too and we are super respectful dog handlers so the peeing had been bothering me a lot for a long long time. I should have told him a long time ago that I don't like his dogs doing that. I am not sure why I never told him. Anyways, I just don't understand why I have all this anxiety and fear inside of my body and why I feel like I ruined the neighbours living situation. He said he will have to move now....I just wish I would be tougher inside and not let these little things affect me so badly. I just want to shake off the experience and move on... What do I care if he has to move...I don't understand my reaction. Can you help me understand why I have to feel like such a drama queen about this.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, BBDiesel. Your building manager did the wrong thing in identifying you as the complainer. You had every right to bring the dog issue to the manager.

    You should not feel guilty about the dog owner needing to move. Just try to forget it. If you repressed anger about the dog peeing in the hallway, you probably would have gotten TMS pain.

    Many people can't take any criticism. That's their problem, not yours.
  3. TimmyH

    TimmyH Peer Supporter

    You are a tms person therefore you feel guilt and shame easily. You just need to discharge it in a healthy way so it does not overflow physically in your body. I often when I feel like something is really bothering me make a Web cam video of myself on my computer or phone saying to the camera what I really think of situation. I really discharge all of the emotions, anger, rage, sadness and guilt. Don't hold back, swear, point shout. Then I often feel quite silly when I'm doing it but when I watch it back I really feel all the things I'm saying. There's something about seeing the emotion on my face that helps me feel it and let it go. After I've watched it I delete it. Give it a go.
  4. BBDiesel

    BBDiesel New Member

    Thank you Walt and TimmyH for your kind suggestions and support. I like the idea of making a web cam video very much :)
  5. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    Yes. I understand. Once my masseuse said something negative about my son and instead of saying something right there on the spot I fumed about it for a week. It REALLY bothered me and what bothered me more was that I let it bother me so much! Argh. I wish I didn't think about it so much.

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