Hi ! My name is Edmond, I'm 22 years old from Spain and suffer from TMS for 3 years and half. All began in 2012 with a mid back pain during a workout exercise. I discovered TMS 10 months ago and I experienced the book cure first week, then I got back to my old state. Now after 3 years and half my symptoms are: severe tightness and pain in my neck, shoulders and the entire back, strange noise in my ears all the time, constipation, insomnia, tachycardia ,migraines, sore eyes, voice problems, breathing difficulties, always I feel without mental and physical energy. About a month ago and several times before, I had 2-3 days of big improvements (40-70% better) because I managed somehow to not focus on the symptoms and believe I get better. Now I am stuck in the old pattern and I don't know what to do to get better. The problem is TMS took over my life entirely in the last 3 years, now I have no friends, I have difficulties to socialize, last year I got kicked out of the university due to bad grades, now I am at another university but I still can't focus on studying with TMS going on. My mother is very angry at me because I don't get better. She doesn't understand TMS and is not interested in it. She thinks I will never get better and is mad at me because now I am only concerned with TMS and I don't want to go to another doctors. Today I said to her that my personality was the cause that I got so ill and she kept comparing other people with me and saying nobody have the problems I have and I am close minded. I got really mad at her and screamed loud to leave me alone. I am sick of this. Despite that my mother thinks my childhood was good, for me was not good at all, There were serious family problems(between my parents) from the day I was born until I got TMS, at age 18, my relationship with my father was not good at all, first 7 years of my life I lived in an isoleted place of the city, I had always been beaten and bullied by other kids. My personality was to always be good with everybody, never to insult, never to be angry. I was timid all the time and I had a low social life. However when I experienced the book cure I felt that I was a completely different person, my personality changed completely when my symptoms got better. In the last 10 months I read the books (Healing Back Pain, The Divided Mind, Mindbody Prescription), I learned a lot about mindfulness and I do meditation, I did work on my emotions, think about them and feel them, when I feel them I get a little bit better, but only few minutes. My problem is that I still focus on my back, I think about how tight my muscles are all day and if I am getting distracted with something, symptoms still don't improve because my relation with them doesn't change. Every time I improved, has always been when I was thinking differently about my symptoms. I would like some suggestions or if somebody had gone trough something similar to share with me. Thanks.