Struggling after relative stability

Hey guys,

I haven't posted in a while mostly because i have been doing quite well. After discovering the work of Monte Heftle and the explanation he gives for the continuation of pain even after knowing about TMS and Sarno, i have been much more stable. In fact, i've been doing, dare i say, well.

I've found mindfulness to be so wonderful and being more present based has helped dramatically with my pain reduction and ability to function these last few months. That being said, after being forced to visit an acupuncturist by my parents who wanted to 'rid the pain' that bit more i have fallen into a severe attack/relapse. I have been generating a lot of inner tension about being forced to undergo 'treatment' as well as having my birthday and a bunch of social outings etc. Anyway, at the moment, it's been about a week and i feel completely crippled. I literally cannot walk at all and my right hip feels shot.

I just need to hear some words of comfort from the community, i feel like i'm doing well in terms of not future tripping and recognising the fear based thoughts that come up but i am struggling severely and i don't know what to do. I'm trying to accept that i can't make it better right now but i am debilitated at the moment and its just dreadful.

If anyone can share some words of advice it would be much appreciated.

Ana

 

Hi I am under pressure from friends and family to do the same. I have realised now how their 'concern' about my continued time off from work has become about their need for me to be back to normal, the phone rings all day long! I have been instructed to get more scans, pressure my doctor to recommend treatment, go private, have acupuncture and PT etc etc. I can't follow all these up! I have tried to explain that I believe that the root is emotional and my recently commenced therapy will sort it. I personally believe this very strongly, it's the only thing that makes sense but everyone wants to push their view on it because they know someone who was 'cured' by acupuncture (til the next time!!!) It is so hard not to be coerced into engaging with the physical view of this by people who do care and mean well but don't know it like you do.
It must be incredibly hard especially if your parents are pushing this. Do you live with them? Tell some lies if necessary to buy yourself space to do it your way. My therapist has explained to me that I must not externalise the power, I can do this for me, it cannot be done to me. Same goes in lots of ways for information seeking as well so I'm trying to limit that too. No more new books or following links. Only posting allowed. That may even have to stop
Anyway good luck to you.

 

Hi, Lexington. I;m sorry you are being pressured by others to seek more medical advice. They just don't understand TMS or reject it. Keep believing in TMS and follow Dr. Sarno's 12 Daily Reminders from his book Healing Back Pain. Here are the extended reminders from Herbie, another in the TMS community.

Herbie’s Extended Version of Dr. Sarno’s 12 DAILY REMINDERS

1. The pain is due to TMS. This is real pain or anxiety but it is caused by subconscious tensions and triggers, stressors and traits to your reactions and fears and also when at boiling point your conscious tension can and does also cause real pain.
2. The main reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation. This means that when you get in pain or anxiety then the blood is restricted from going to your lower back, for instance. The blood being restricted causes oxygen deprivation which causes the pain. Remember, where there is no oxygen then there is pain in the body. Also, the pain stays because of fear.
3. TMS is a harmless condition caused by my REPRESSED EMOTIONS so even though you think you can harm yourself from the years of pain you have felt and how you feel in general -- so far no reports have been heard from TMS healing knowledge causing damage to anyone, it only helps.
4. The principle emotion is your repressed ANGER -- this means under your consciousness lies something that happens automatically to everyone. TMSers have repressions that are stored because of our personality traits, traumas, stressors, fears, strain, etc... When these stored repressions build and build, then eventually they cause the brain to send pain into your body to keep you from having an emotional crises. The mind-body thinks it is helping you.
5. TMS exists to DISTRACT your attentions from the emotions, stressors, tensions and strains of your personality traits because if you can get distraction then you won’t have to be in emotional turmoil. When you don't face and feel your emotions and they get repressed because you didn't want to deal with something -- they are just adding up in this beaker, ready to pour over and create real pain and anxiety in your body.
6. Since my body is perfectly normal, there is nothing to fear. So in reality when I fear the pain or anxiety I just cause myself undo strain and tension adding to the beaker of pain. If I fear, then I feed the pain, If I fear, it’s impossible to recondition. Fear keeps the pain and anxiety alive in the body through focus.
7. Therefore, physical activity is harmless. If I want to work against the pain I could but it’s better to lose some of the pain so when I start my life over I have to be in pain trying to heal because facing the repressions and all the other activities that cause the pain and reversing my fear and focus to them, then I can heal.
8. I am resuming all normal physical activity. I don't fear moving anymore. I believe in my body’s ability to heal now. I can move as I want. I will not fear moving with a bent back anymore. I will also practice going out and acting normal again, not in fear of what pain might do to me.
9. The pain is unimportant and powerless. Its only power is how it is hidden -- its illusion, its fear.
10. I will keep my attention on the emotional issues. I will think about my emotions and feel my emotions throughout the day. I will not judge, criticize or fear my emotions. I will not run from my emotional issues but face every one of them. I will feel my emotions fully and cry if I need to. Then I will release the emotion and get my mind and thoughts back to my life and living in the present.
11. I am in control of all of this. This is how I recover.
12. I will be thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES. This means I will keep my thoughts on psychological issues like happiness, fear and anger -- traits and triggers, conditioning and journaling -- The science behind mind-body/TMS healing, etc.... This way I will not feed my thoughts to the body -- that is a trick of TMS. TMS will always try to get me to focus on the body caused by the pain until I break its show and flair. When I get my attention off physical symptoms and on to emotional issues and psychological issues then I will not feed the fear of the physical issues anymore, thus making the TMS of no pain effect on the body. This will in return, give us the cure and become pain-free.

 

Thanks Walt it's good to see those reminders. Did you see the video of the Sarno lecture that IrishSceptic has posted? I forget where I found it, it's not on the main 2 forums, I was browsing somewhere.
Ana how are you? I have just read your story in your profile! What an absolutely devastating impact this has had on your life!! And from such a young age. I feel for you so much. I think you are so amazing to have had the strength to keep seeking health, get an education and all across 2 continents! It's astonishing how the medical route has taken you such to such drastic interventions. It's clear your parents really want to "fix" you and this could be a big part of the problem. Do they understand and accept the TMS approach now? My family don't really but I am 42 and can go my own way. Thankfully my husband definitely gets it. Can you see a TMS therapist together and they could explain to you parents? Maybe they could start by watching the Sarno lecture I mentioned above. I'll post where I found it. Although I totally accept this diagnosis it was really helpful to me.
I want to send you hugs and compassion as a TMS sufferer who has faced only a shade of what you have and for so very long! Your spirit is inspiring because you didn't give up. You have the truth now, you have to keep believing.
Please report back

 

Hi both the full Sarno lecture is actually in general discussion forum. It's now on page 3 in a thread called "Paris, DC video threat and flare up" started by JacketSpud. It's long but really worth it. I think it should be copied to the resource library but I have no idea how to do that! Sorry!

 

Hi Ana,
You know you have TMS, and you have found very effective means of controlling it. That is huge, good news!!

This is the most basic truth of your situation.

If you can work with your anxiety around the relapse, this would be really helpful. This is the time to step up and grab what you learned about mindfullness with both arms. Practice it!!

Here is a thread about working with anxiety, which was recently bumped, but you might scroll down to the entry about anxiety by Alex Bloom, open the links, and try these recordings...

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/question-about-recurrence-of-symptoms.3694/

Psychodynamically, I think this quote is interesting for you:

How much are you just pissed at your parents for "doing this to you?" It is easy to "give others what they want" to "stay in relationship" with them. To really be ourselves in relationship to the people around us is challenging, and important, and part of why we suffer from TMS is that we give our truth to others. Lexington is right. And this means there may be conflicts down deep that want to be seen more clearly. Am I blaming myself for giving in? Am I angry at my parents, and is this a problem? All this leads to turmoil, and TMS is a good distraction!

I love that you are trying to give yourself compassion by simply seeing the difficulty of things right now for you. And reaching out...

It might help to spend a half an hour a day reading success stories. Or watch utube videos of TMS success stories.

Andy B.

 

Hey all,

Thank you SO much for all your responses, they have been absolutely wonderful.

It's been a rough 11 years, i think turning another year older and not being where i think i 'should' be has also had something to do with this flare up. I watched Dr Sarno's lecture and it instilled some more confidence in the sense that i realised the extent of my conditioning but i am still in a dreadful state and can barely walk. I really want to continue exercising and going to the gym like i normally would but i think i need to realise that this is the truth of the moment for me.. accept and allow..

Thank you for your kind words @Lexington , my parents do understand TMS and they are sort of accepting but they continue to seek out 'therapies' for me and ask me daily if my leg is sore which is just a result of there concern but i think you guys are right, i was furious at having to have acupuncture against my will, that contributed to the flare up i'm sure.

@Andy B , what you just said is so empowering, and i am recognising the fear based thoughts that arise along with the anxiety. At this point i am trying to change my relationship towards the pain rather then try and make the pain go away which i think is the right thing to do. I love what you said about 'giving our truth to others' because that is exactly the way i have been feeling as of late, giving energy to people who have been seeking it, hanging out with people against my will, not being true to myself.

@Walt Oleksy , the reminders are brilliant, sometimes we need to go back to basics.

Thanks so much for the support guys, will let you know how i'm going.

Ana x

 

Hi Ana,

Your parents do not understand TMS at all if they are pushing you toward physical treatments.

Do not let your parents 'force' you into treatment. That is your decision and yours alone. Take back the power!

David.

 

Wow.. thanks for that @David88 , it really resonated..