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Day 34 Struggles, progress

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by cookieheals, Apr 26, 2021.

  1. cookieheals

    cookieheals Peer Supporter

    What part of PPD do you think is frustrating or silly? Is there something about the theory you don't accept? What personality trait do you think makes you feel this way? If you feel comfortable sharing, then post your response in a thread in our Structured Program forum.

    It's frustrating for me to have to keep bringing back my focus to my mind, and I still find pain a threatening phenomena, that, in conditioning, makes it difficult for me to accept that it could be caused my TMS. I know it is- I've gathered evidence from experiences, can see how it would have chosen the part of my body that the brain knows is structurally vulnerable, but there is yet a part of me that remains in doubt, and fearful.

    The personality trait I'd say is being fearful, but also perfectionist. I have to have alll the facts before believing something, and I guess that feeds into fear. I feel like I'm risking my life by going on a run, because if I injure myself, then what? Then I'll be back at square one. So basically struggling to accept the diagnosis but mostly because of fear.

    Reasons to not accept TMS
    - The MRIs said so
    -7 doctors said the injury would not heal and that surgery was inevitable
    -I went through pain. Painnn.

    Reasons to accept
    -The Word of God says I'm healed
    -Dr. Schubiner says that the Knee MRI is normal and if I can put weight on my foot then it is TMS because the bones in my feet have healed.
    -A TMSer with a similar foot issue, Pemolina had somewhat my same problems with crazy MRIs too and is now 100% okay. That was helpful. Not many people have talked about seismod injuries as TMS and that was affirming to me.
    -The pain is explained in hordes of articles under conditioning
    -The pain started in a period of extreme stress
    -I prayed for it and reduced the pain for 95%.

    But yet I doubt. Is that normal?
     

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