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Strong negative feelings about surgery I had

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Greenfishes, Jan 13, 2023.

  1. Greenfishes

    Greenfishes New Member


    I have had pain on the right side of my lower half of my body, stemming from an injury to a testicle two years ago. Since then I have had pain that has moved around the lower right half of my body, including hamstring, pubic area and anterior thigh. The doctors were not able to find anything physicaly wrong. A spermatic cord nerve block really helped me for about a month, so i had a spermatic cord denervation surgery. Since sugery I have had a numbness in underside of penis, though it was not a complication of surgery. I am so fixated on the pain and sensitivity of areas of my body. I recognize it is a distraction, but I am having a really hard time letting go and stop focusing on my body. I have negative thoughts that I permanetly damaged myself from surgery and dwelling on negative thoughts. A lot of TMS books make me feel ashamed, embarassed and stupid for having surgery. I am exercising like a madman to gain confidence. I notice when the pain is lessened in that area, another symptom will pop up somewhere else. I have had tms in past and got better fully, I have read books, got diagnosed by a recognized TMS doctor. I think what i need to do is become more active and social in life so I am not distracted by the distraction, but this seems so much harder to overcome than in the past. Today I recognized tms in a coworker who has random pain out of nowhere and his 30th anniversary is today and not able to be with his wife .

    Last edited: Jan 13, 2023
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is a classic example of the TMS mechanism at work - you don't mention whether or not having the surgery resulted in less pain, but in a way, that doesn't even matter, because your brain has decided to give you something else to distract you with - framing it as a mistake that has caused permanent damage, even though "it was not a complication of surgery". Doubt, doubt doubt and more doubt - that is the hallmark of the TMS mechanism. I can see that you know this, you just need to change the dialogue and point yourself in the other direction.

    At the risk of sounding glib, the obvious response to this is that a book can't "make" you feel anything. This is a choice that you are unconsciously accepting, something that, once again, has been created by your fearful TMS brain to keep you distracted. What you are not accepting is the fact that failed surgeries exist in so many TMS books because so many people have been convinced by the established medical community that surgery is a solution - and people in pain are desperate for a solution. You are hardly alone, and you do not have to choose to beat yourself up about it.

    Do a search for David Hanscom MD and read some of his interviews and work related to back surgery (his website is called Back In Control). He used to be a back surgeon, performing surgeries with a sincere belief that he was offering a solution for chronic back pain. He has since abandoned his surgery practice to work on the mindbody aspects of chronic pain and run his pain relief program. Listening to or reading his work, you might come to understand that there's no need to feel "stupid" for having accepted the advice of medical professionals.
    TG957 likes this.
  3. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    whack-a-mole is always a symptom of TMS and is also characteristic of us in general...so those monets should actually go in the 'positive growth' column for recognition.

    But that grieving over stuff that is over? THAT is just another distraction. I just had to cut ties with someone who does that constantly everyday, every hour, every subject... she spends her life constantly regretting things from various times in the past from an hour ago to childhood.
    Funny... she is Beautiful, talented and (when not spinning in circles) a genuinely nice person, but that trait is a deal breaker. It is hard to feel sorry for people who are better off in life than most agonizing over little stuff...and it is ALL little stuff.

    Most of who got here had dumb surgeries we didn't need. If we spent all of our time reflecting, we could never move forward. Make a conscious decision to Move forward.
    TG957 likes this.
  4. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    You need to find something you like doing: go on a skiing vacation, read a fun book, buy a new car! Move on, because you cannot reverse the surgery, but you can reverse your obsessive tendencies that may have caused your pain in the first place!
    Baseball65 likes this.

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