I listened to a recorded peer discussion yesterday with Nicole Sachs and her book, The Meaning of Truth. It was the first time I listened to any of the peer discussions and Im glad i did. One of the things she said that resonated with me was when she mentioned "anger" being a big part of TMS, but its "fear" that fuels it. I believe "fear" is the hurdle that I have been struggling to overcome....fear of lack of finances, fear of not providing, fear of losing my marriage, fear that the pain will be with me forever, FEAR that the pain will come when I walk or sit or do anything, etc...what a tortured life!! She said or perhaps quoted Dr. Sarno that the fear of pain, will ultimately bring the pain. Nicole explained that the best thing to do when an episode occurred, was to bring up the emotions head on and deal with it. This will help bring the unconscious emotions to a conscious level and be relieved so to speak. So I was in the kitchen and out of nowhere, my leg spasmed and about brought me to the floor. I became so angry because there was no reason, no trigger, no stressful emotion i was feeling right at that moment, nothing i could pin point. So I believe it was UV trying to put FEAR back on me to keep me on a short leash. So I began angrily screaming, in loud whisper since my kids and wife were in the living room, I began bringing up any fear or anger emotion I could think of and had an answer for it...taking the emotions head on. Then, I got the courage and with much rage, I began stomping my feet! With every stomp I declared that I was not gonna be afraid any more and that I taking back control! I said to myself that if it hurt, I dont care bc its not structural its in my head. If I fall, I would get back up and do it again. This was very liberating! I didnt fall and I didnt have a leg spasm for the rest of the night. I told myself that with any/every episode that occurs from now on, I plan on addressing it in similar fashion. Today ended up being a great day. Thank you Nicole!!