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Still stuck

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by eskimoeskimo, May 25, 2018.

  1. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    I still haven’t made any progress, despite attempting to treat my pain the TMS way for 8 years. I’m still full of doubt, fear, and frustration despite overwhelming evidence that this is psychological. I’ve read all the books, done all the programs. Where can I turn? How does one address the fear of the pain continuing? It seems like the programs address the fear that the pain means damage (I still haven’t shed that fear either), but what about the fear that the pain won’t stop? I have so much evidence now that the pain doesn’t stop, it’s not easy /possible to discount. And I am always fearful of the effects this stress and pain has on my brain and health generally, also not easy to discount.

    I feel like I’m out of things to try, out of hope. I’ve posted essentially this same message so many times, and I appreciate all the support, but I feel like I’m just permanently stuck.
  2. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    I feel like I can't take it any more.
  3. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Is it still possible to heal after so much disappointment?
  4. Orion2012

    Orion2012 Well known member

    Yes, but it requires belief that you can heal, and that you deserve to heal.
  5. Orion2012

    Orion2012 Well known member

    My best guess is that persistent TMS is caused by deep self-loathing, and or unforgiveness.

    Did you have a traumatic childhood?
  6. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    No not at all. Still managed to develop intense self-loathing anyways though. Not being able to recover from TMS or function well with it has also progressively added to this self-loathing.
  7. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    I believed a lot more strongly that I could recover earlier on, but that has been gradually, devastatingly, chipped away at.
  8. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi eskimoeskimo,

    I think that you're pointing to issues around the pain that might be helpful to be addressed: fear of it always continuing, self-rejection that you should have been able to whip this, intense self-loathing. These experiences are deeply painful, a real form of suffering, and might be addressed completely independently of "pain relief." I say independently because attempting to get "pain relief" ---or your "failure" in that is very tied to the painful emotional/thinking aspects that you're experiencing. If you could possibly put pain aside for a while, and work on self-contact, self-empathy, working with self-loathing, this might be a good way forward.

    There are many ways to suffer, and pain is not actually the worst, in my experience. So untangling the pain from the inner relationships would be helpful. You are not a failure. You are experiencing deep, painful aspects of the human condition which everyone experiences, but which have been brought into focus for you because of the pain condition.

    I am glad you're still here and posting and asking for help and contact. This is important, I think. I hope you find the responses comforting, even if not completely the "answer." We've all been through a lot, members of this Forum, and we care.

    Andy B
  9. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Thank you Andy B. Your compassion and encouragement are a big help. I think you could be right, it could be a good strategy to focus on some of these other things for a while ... things which I know are a problem regardless of what the pain story is (and things that are likely contributing to ongoing pain). Stopping the pain has become the sole focus of my life, which is of course problematic. It's so hard to follow through with outcome independence. It sounds good, but then a half hour later I'm lamenting the pain is still there and throw my hands up ...

    It's also helpful to be reminded that the pain is not actually the worst part of this. I know that's true. I also know that if it weren't my neck, it'd be something else - as it has been other things before. Somehow the upper back pain which was the plague of my existence for so long disappeared without my noticing as I became so focused on the neck.

    - Eskimo
  10. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Eskimo,

    I don't have any additional suggestions other than the ones I've already given, but I am glad you are here and still open to support. I think @Andy B has given you excellent advice.

    Take care, dear one.....
    Lainey and eskimoeskimo like this.
  11. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    Thank you Ellen. Always nice to hear from you.
    Ellen likes this.
  12. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    What do you need to make a leap of faith? Progress? How big must the progress be? Having faith in a process and in progress means to believe in it over and over again. For some it is harder to than for others. Maybe you also are too reflective, to much occupied to scrutinize yourself. Sometimes things happen when you are not watching!
  13. eskimoeskimo

    eskimoeskimo Well known member

    I'm not sure. I used to believe more firmly in the TMS theory of pain and its application to my case, but so many years without any progress have undermined this. Is it really necessary to make a leap of faith? I know that Alan talks about a positive feedback loop, and that 100% belief is tough or maybe impossible without some relief of symptoms. I am certainly too reflective and spend way too much time by myself ruminating on all of this.

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