Day 1 Still some unwanted doubt

Hi everyone
When I was in my twenties I faked a back injury to get on wrkmans comp. when my MRi came back with 2 herniated discs l5s1 I laughed because now I was set. But what happened was my back started to really hurt. Every few months or so if be out of commission for 3-4 days. Before my fake injury I had some back aches rarely that would last maybe a day or so. Fast forward 15 years and 2 kids.... Chronic back pain. Every month 3-4 days. Crying in pain. All types of medical and alternative care with only temporary relief. Until May 2015 after doing lots of gardening I started having a pain in my right lower back that within 2 weeks culminated to a full blown crisis that has now led to Dr Sarnos books. Recommended by a friend who was fed up of my complaining. I have read healing back pain and the mind body prescription. The pain has not magically gone away but I do have hope on most days. There is a constant dialogue in my mind that maybe I should go see my osteopath because it's not getting better. Then I come to this site and I rethink it. This has been going on for 2 weeks now. It's very frustrating So now I'm going to work the program. I hope it will sink in.
Any comments will be greatly appreciated Thanks

 

I wanted to add that I am very ashamed for what I did. I was in a bad place in my twenties

 

Hi adria,

Welcome to the Forum, Wiki, and especially the SEP.

I am sorry for the hell you've been going through physically, and the guilt you are putting up with. This shame about what you did may be in fact related to your symptoms, or is at least an indicator of the TMS personality type. Knowing you have shame, and may be prone to shame and guilt may help you as you investigate your patterns and life history with the SEP.

If you need to eliminate doubts by going to a physician, either a regular one who may say "I don't see a huge problem here." or a specialist TMS physician, this will probably be helpful. If the doubts keep lingering... I will say that for me, several years into a wonderful relief from severe foot pain, the doubts still arise. In my experience, they do not have to be eliminated entirely, but this is counter to other people's experience here. You may just have some compassion for yourself that you still have some doubt. So what?

The perfectionistic approach to helping ourselves is natural to TMS'ers, and it can be seen and connected with symptoms...

Good luck in the SEP, and post progress and questions as you go. I am glad you found this place!

Andy B.

 

Hi Adria,

Welcome and you're in the right spot. The SEP will help immensely. The first time I did it, I was 100% pain-free after. I had a relapse recently, so I'm working it again. The personal growth we can make in itself is worth while.

Good luck. Keep posting.

Kevin

 

Hi, Adria. Glad you have begun the SEProgram. It really helped me heal from severe back pain, and has healed many others.

Guilt is not worth the pressure it puts on us. Put the guilt thing behind you and go on with your healing.

Have a happy and relaxing weekend.