Still searching for answers

I am re-reading Steve Ozanich's book The Great Pain Deception and learning a lot. I realise that I definitely have had a "shadow eruption" (compulsive shoplifting as a teenager) of which I am deeply ashamed. I've also started to (as Steve Ozanich writes) "despise the people I depend on because codependency is threatening to ego." Lots of guilt there. How on earth do I deal with this super powerful ego? I've tried therapy however my anxiety/TMS exploded as a result. So I'm taking a break for self preservation. I have been a very angry person my whole life. I'm still searching for what repressed anger I may have (most probably an unloving father) but I don't know how to face it or deal with it. Is journalling enough?

 

I have benefited greatly from journaling. I did the program here, using lists like Dr Sarno prescribed, and I've used the techniques that Nicole Sachs shares. I found once I started shredding my writing, I was able to be more self-honest, and just let it all out. Sometimes I wouldn't have to worry about anyone reading it because when I really hit something deep, it goes into just wavy scribbles, but the emotion really comes through, I feel it, and it dissipates. Have you tried journaling about the fear of the anxiety and pain? The fear of uncovering these things? A flare of anxiety and TMS is a message...hey this is the big stuff we are really afraid of, don't go there! But we know we are safe to GO there. FEEL it. Feel what we wouldn't feel before, and be free! Sorry, to answer your question, no journaling isn't enough, but it can be a great tool to do the work, to uncover and feel and shift to a belief in our safety and health.