Day 8 Still improved :)

[ceturner]

I am very happy that my back has still improved (about 30%-50%) since starting this program. I think reading other people's success stories helped the most because it drilled into my mind that TMS is real. I'm still deliberately NOT doing PT exercises, yoga, stretching, qigong, standing, sitting up straight, etc, which is all the stuff I was doing before to prevent the pain. There is still some pain but I believe it's because my mind is not completely convinced that I can be completely pain free. However, I am so happy and grateful for the simple things I can do now that were so painful before, little things like getting out of the car after a long drive or standing up from a squatting position.

I just finished reading Mind Over Medicine and also just got a copy of Pain Free for Life in the mail. I have some other books I borrowed from the library on the mind's connection to pain as well. Reading these books will be part of my strategy to keep my mind convinced that the pain is TMS and will be overcome. I'm also focusing on taking better care of myself emotionally--being more loving to myself and not being so hard on myself.

I am so grateful for this free online program!

[Edit--I added more... ]

Are you having success at recognizing the emotions connected to your pain? If you have, how do these emotions make you feel? If not, what do you think is preventing you from doing this?

I'm not sure that I'm recognizing the emotions connected to the pain. I did read in comments from another post that talked about their pain occurring during a time of needing to be more self-sufficient in life. I realized that this is when my back pain originally began in 2006. I always felt like I could never make it on my own, and this was the first time I had my own apartment and had to support myself with a full time job (besides college when my apartment was cheap and I could support myself on the school loans!) Well, when my back pain became really bad over a year ago, I was just finishing up a masters program with the expectation that I was going to start my own practice. It was a lot of pressure! Emotionally, I was overwhelmed and unprepared. So, maybe this is why the pain began again?

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Emotionally, I was overwhelmed and unprepared.

You bet this can be why the pain began again. The negative emotions don't have to be really deep, really dark, or in the past - what you had there was a recipe for negative self-talk. You've already recognized the value of self-acceptance and self-love. During a time like you described, you were probably beating yourself up for being overwhelmed and especially for being unprepared - there's no room for self-love in that scenario. Your brain is more than happy to punish you with pain.

But that was then, and this is now, and it sounds like you are turning it around! Yay!

 

[ceturner]

During a time like you described, you were probably beating yourself up for being overwhelmed and especially for being unprepared - there's no room for self-love in that scenario. Your brain is more than happy to punish you with pain.

Ahh, thank you for this insight!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, ceturner.

You are progressing real well in the SEP since the pain is lessening. It tends to remain if we have not yet discovered all the emotional causes of TMS pain and also if we have not yet reached that 100 percent "ah ha!" moment when we believe 100 percent in TMS causing our pain. Keep going in the SEP. Keep journaling. But only spend about an hour on it each day. Try to find ways to think and do things that you enjoy and make you feel good.

Life can present new stresses every day. I just stepped in some of my darling dog's do-do. I could have gone into a rage. Instead, I laughed and calmly cleaned my shoes.