Starting my journey- is it this intense for others?

[bluebird]

Hi, I am just starting my journey with overcoming TMS. I have read Dr Sarno's "Healing Back Pain" and "The Divided Mind" books. I believe in this and have great hope that it will help me. I have had health issues for more than 20 years and my history corresponds with Dr. Sarno's explanation of TMS pain and other psychosomatic equivalents. My main health concern is daily chronic headaches, although I have several other manifestations that I didn't realize were connected to this until I read Dr. Sarno's information about mind-body disorders. I feel that I have a good understanding of the different ways TMS is manifest and also the course of treatment, although I am realizing that each person's experiences vary greatly. I have just started my journaling and delving into my timelines in detail. I am aware of several emotional situations and feelings that can be contributing to my problems. As I have just begun, I have had an increase of symptoms, and also feel very fragile with my emotions. Is this similar to others experiences? I realize this will take time to work through, but this is pretty tough going at first. Will I be able to distance myself from all these intense emotions as time goes on, while still being able to stay away from the pain? I would like to hear from anyone that has had similar experiences. I am so excited for this new part of my life, I hope I can be patient with the complexities of healing. I realize that it has been a long time of misunderstanding, and that training my mind is not an easy task. Thanks to anyone who has some encouragement and words of wisdom for me!

Bluebird

 

[lazydaisy]

Hi Bluebird,

Yes, I can certainly relate.

At first I found it all very emotional, and as I went back and did the journalling exercises I felt as though I was reliving all those horrid emotions. I would actually physically blush, for example, when recalling situations I was embarrassed about. That was not pleasant.

However, and this is a big however, I know find that I can recall those events without reliving them - which is something I couldn't do before. Every so often, prior to journalling, something would make me think of one of these events, and I would have to shut that thought down to prevent myself feeling that emotion again (ugh, repressed, who me?!). Now, I have found that after I have journalled an event, I can recall it without the same reliving of the emotions. I just look at it almost neutrally. Oh, that happened. Not, 'Oh, I'm so mortified...'.

So, yes, it was hard at the time, but it has helped me so much. Also, I found that things I really didn't want to write about (as in, left till last and had to have a glass of wine before I'd sit down and do it) actually came out quite easily. I wouldn't say I enjoyed writing about them, but certainly thinking about writing about them was much worse than actually sitting down and doing it.

And also yes to increased symptoms. I am currently back on the SEP after some time off, and wow, my symptoms have really increased. But that just reaffirms for me that it is my emotions causing this pain. If thinking about difficult things means the pain goes up temporarily, well, it's just proof that the pain isn't caused by structural problems, and is therefore totally treatable just like other people's TMS.

So I would say, yes, it's hard. Set aside some time and really get into journalling though, and you may find that it is harder thinking about doing it than doing it, and that, having done it, there is a big sense of relief.

I would also say that it took a while for the relief to come for me. At first I just felt emotionally on the edge, but over time, I realised that it was helping in background ways. And let's be honest, I've always been emotionally on the edge because I have so many feelings that have wanted to be heard for so long that I was pushing back.

Good luck.

 

[bluebird]

Lazydaisy,

Thanks for your help and encouragement! I couldn't have had a better response than if I had imagined it myself. It is great to be validated. Your thoughts about your experiences are the ones I needed to help me understand this uncharted territory I am swimming in. It is great to know someone else has " been there -done that". I am amazed at how similar your feelings are to mine; you explained exactly what I have been feeling. Your words of experience have been a great confidence booster.

I am so grateful to have found this forum to learn from and get support. I am determined to see this through to the finish line!

Thanks for taking the time to share with me,

Bluebird

 

[lazydaisy]

Hi Bluebird,

And your response is exactly how I felt as a new member when people replied to my first messages on the forum!

It's amazing to hear from people who know what you have been and are going through, and are so supportive. I love this place.