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Standing up for The Programme

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Michael Reinvented, Aug 29, 2012.

  1. Michael Reinvented

    Michael Reinvented Peer Supporter

    Appreciate advice from one of the TMS Wiki Experts, on how to best deal with this situation, bearing in mind my TOTAL acceptance of TMS being the root cause of my diffuse bi-lateral foot pain.

    Dr Sarno's advice is unambiguous "Resume all normal activities".

    Over the past 2.5 years I have been habitually avoiding prolonged standing as 3 mins + starts to activate the pain loop.

    Interestingly, demonstarting a work product gives me significantly more standing time before the "yips" kick in than say mooching in the Post Office Queue.

    I have deliberately avoided Cocktail parties as they present few options to take a break from standing. This has caused relationship stress as my wife is the life of The Party.

    I have noted the repeated advice in threads from Triumphant TMSers to "be kind to yourself". I find this hard to correlate with Dr Sarno's advice... Should I after Day 19 on The SP simply bite the bullet, dust off the ole glad rags and stand till it "hurts no more"?? MR
  2. Susan

    Susan Peer Supporter


    I have found great compassion from Howard Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain book and exercises. If you resonate with his approach there is great healing available to you. This site's Structured Ed Program is so helpful. I am doing both programs----a perfectionistic reaction to this diagnosis.

    I push the resume all physical activity imperative each day. You can, too.

    Best to you,

  3. Michael Reinvented

    Michael Reinvented Peer Supporter

    Thanks Susan.

    I will also incorporate your suggestion. I really like Doc Schubi's clean clear logic and obvious compassion.

    Reckon I am going to need to throw heaps at this as the more I journal, the more obvoius it is that I lived most of my childhood in pure fear of my Father, his violent rage had me tiptoing everywhere. The learned fear has to date, LOCKED INTO my TMS, but for no longer.

    I have learned to forgive him as he was only doing the best he knew with his "tool kit" inherited from his damaged Dad, 3.5 years trudging the mud n blood of the Western Front, then 9 mths in a Psych Hospital. RIP both of you - loving Men at heart.

    This community is a blessing. :rolleyes:
  4. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    One thing that resonated with me from the June 9th webinar with Alan Gordon was how our past influences how we react to present situations. Essentially, when we are raised in a demanding and critical childhood we develop this internal bully/terrorist that beats ourselves up over every little thing that we do. Even though these are just our own thoughts, they can still create loads of stress and anxiety that leads us to repress our emotions.

    You mentioned that you had to tiptoe around your father, which makes me wonder if you are still doing that unconsciously. This can come out in a whole bunch of different ways from being perfectionistic, overly self-critical, or having anxiety. I tend to think that part of why exploring our past is so important is so that we can identify how it affects are present in both our personality traits and how we react to current stresses or situations. The good part, though, is that even though we have this internal terrorist telling us we are not good enough, it is after all just a thought, which we can stand up to and change. This is something that Dr. Zafirides touches on often in his Healthy Mind podcasts, and a good reminder for us all. If we are having negative, overly critical thoughts, we can change them to something more positive.

    This does get into the need to be kind to yourself as well. Sure, resuming physical activity is a big step, and can really help people make progress (It definitely did for me). But you should only do it when you are ready. It is okay if you are on day 19, and still have some hesitations. If you are up for it, try to start small. Try standing in your house for a few minutes or taking a short walk. In terms of exercise and activity it all comes down to what you are comfortable doing. Of course, if you are hesitant to be active again it could be worthwhile to ask yourself why this is. Gaining introspection in your life is a very important part of recovery, and will help you identify areas that you may need to address.

    It is great to have you be part of our community. You are doing great work, and will get there in time.

    Beach-Girl likes this.
  5. Beach-Girl

    Beach-Girl Well known member

    Welcome Michael R. This sentence kind of says it all. I am so sorry that you lived this way as you grew up. Many of us had an abusive parent or a parent whose attention we couldn't get. Perhaps in your journal you can get in touch with that little kid who was "tiptoeing" everywhere. Seems to me if one is being yelled at by a parent, one is "standing in place with nowhere to go." Do the things you describe that bring on the pain have any kind of correlation for you? Like a post office line. They are annoying and there is nothing you can do to get through the line faster. Maybe you can find a connection there. And do you like cocktail parties? Are you relaxed standing and talking? Or would you rather be somewhere else?

    Forgiveness is huge. And your sentence above is beautiful. But there is also rage that can go with forgiveness. This is something I'm working on myself. Turns out it isn't aimed at the person who harmed us, but what those moments did to mold us. Keep writing and working your way through. You sound like a compassionate soul that will work through your pain.

  6. Michael Reinvented

    Michael Reinvented Peer Supporter

    Hey Forestman
    I am so uplifted by your support and encouragement. You write from a place of great compassion. The balance between kindness to oneself and resuming normal activity is a difficult energy to attain but I know I can reach it before long.

    Beach - Girl
    Thanks also! To answer your questions:
    Do the things you describe that bring on the pain have any kind of correlation for you? Like a post office line. They are annoying and there is nothing you can do to get through the line faster. Maybe you can find a connection there. And do you like cocktail parties? Are you relaxed standing and talking? Or would you rather be somewhere else?

    Yes, in general I am results oriented. I think it, I want it, so it must be NOW. Sorta like John Kehoe on Steroids.

    This Forum's Program is shifting that imperitaive. What we resist persists.

    Cocktail parties are Practised Art, avoid the Middle Class materialism/aspiration blah and zero in on a few like minded souls to talk about things of substance. I loved em. Not in recent 2 years... cold fear into the feet via the subconscious!

    There is joy in every day. The trick is to recognize and celebrate these small moments.

    Great quote.

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