Source of Repression

All,

I am having a hard time pinpointing my source of repression. My parents were not abusive to me, but they were absent both emotionally and cognitively. I raised myself and my sister, and lived through a relatively loveless childhood where my parents actively dissociated from typical parenting duties. My parents divorced when I was 13, and at the time I felt I was happier with them no longer arguing daily. Nobody told me to push down anger or sadness, and both of my parents were open to my feelings, but I never really felt comforted. In order to continue to improve I feel I need to better understand the source of my repression. Any suggestions?

 

Hi russell191,

I think it is important to understand that repression is a natural process, however we are raised. Even in the best situation there are times when our caretakers are not there for us. As a sensitive, helpless infant or child, every time this happens, there is an imprinted experience which stays. These experiences are related to "not being in the field of love and safety." These are overwhelming experiences for the child. These imprints build up our personality/ego over time: what we think we cannot experience because it was overwhelming, strategies to try to stay in the field of love and safety, etc. Repression is a natural activity to keep painful experiences out of our awareness. Including powerful experiences from the past which are evoked by present day events.

Working with Dr. Sarno's work, you can ask: "How did my Inner Child feel about taking care of things without support from parents?" "How does my Inner Child feel in this moment when some of the experiences in life trigger these same feelings of lack of support, attunement?" "In what ways do I not attune to my experience, in the same way my parents did not."

So my suggestion is to assume there is repression and suppression, and contemplate what "does not want to be felt."

Andy B

 

Hi, Russelld191. Your parents divorced when you were 13, so I assume you and your sister were brought up by syou mother. If so, maybe try journaling about both her and your father to put yourself in their shoes as to learn why they divorced. They may have had their own TMS. Understanding them better, you may be able to forgive them for any emotional pain they may have caused you and your sister. My parents divorced when I was seven. They remarried a year later, then Dad died. My year-older sister and I became very close and still are, as we in our 80's.

Good luck with your TMS healing progress.