Some days a just a little harder

[Urbanjourney]

Hi all,
I felt i'd made some great progress with my TMS work so far however today, I found it hard to not be frustrated with it...and then I think "shiiiiit, my unconscious is listening to this and it's going to make things worse" and i cycle back into saying all the things in way of support, nurturing, safety and awareness of what my unconscious is doing. I think i'm getting tired of dealing with it to be honest....but in writing this, I am gaining the awareness that this seems to be a great example of when to stay strong, be forgiving and not losing hope on the journey. Obviously it's been way easier to do the work with very minimal pain symptoms but when they start poking up again and hanging around, it changes the outlook.
There may have been things contributing to it today - I visited my doctor and my old workplace (both felt fine but maybe some unconscious feelings being deposited) and i'm also trying to stay as detached from it as possible (ie not digging, digging , digging trying to find a trigger)
It's possible that with some meditation and new perspective that a great sleep gives, tomorrow may serve up a different picture.

 

[BloodMoon]

I found it hard to not be frustrated with it...and then I think "shiiiiit, my unconscious is listening to this and it's going to make things worse" and i cycle back into saying all the things in way of support, nurturing, safety and awareness of what my unconscious is doing. I think i'm getting tired of dealing with it to be honest....but in writing this, I am gaining the awareness that this seems to be a great example of when to stay strong, be forgiving and not losing hope on the journey.

Yes. No perfection is required, but self-compassion is required.

The recovery journey is usually a messy business—symptoms and emotions go up and down like a bloomin’ roller coaster—but you absolutely do not have to be perfect at it to recover. Yes, your brain is listening, but what speaks to it far more are your actions and you are taking numerous positive actions, which work on the brain 'in the background' without you realising it.

In my experience, the pissed-off periods do not have to be far outweighed by the “I’m optimistic and hopeful” times.

Periods of feeling frustrated, and even despondent, are 'par for the course' and allowing those emotions can help: a major part of mind-body/TMS work is allowing yourself to feel your emotions rather than suppress them. Whatever you’re feeling—anger, frustration, sadness, fear—can give you something to work with.

I was very angry and frustrated by my situation, as you can see from this excerpt from my recovery story:

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It started with some humble carrots.

I was bedridden again, fed up, angry, frustrated and crying, and then I suddenly decided to ask my husband to bring me a tray of carrots so I could peel them for dinner.

So there I was, lying in bed, sobbing and peeling carrots.

I thought:

“If peeling and chopping carrots is all I can do to get on with ordinary life, then damn it, I’m going to bloody well peel and chop carrots!”

That didn’t magically make me better. But it was part of my recovery. I stopped waiting to feel well before doing something ordinary, and I started taking tiny steps towards life again.

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So please don’t turn your frustration into something to fear or fix or be particularly disappointed about as it's the way of things. Let yourself be fed up. Feel the anger if it’s there. Then, when you’re ready, do the next small thing—not because you have to prove anything, but because it’s one more way of showing yourself, and your brain, that life is still available to you.

I like this ...

It's possible that with some meditation and new perspective that a great sleep gives, tomorrow may serve up a different picture.

 

[Urbanjourney]

Yes. No perfection is required, but self-compassion is required.

The recovery journey is usually a messy business—symptoms and emotions go up and down like a bloomin’ roller coaster—but you absolutely do not have to be perfect at it to recover. Yes, your brain is listening, but what speaks to it far more are your actions and you are taking numerous positive actions, which work on the brain 'in the background' without you realising it.

In my experience, the pissed-off periods do not have to be far outweighed by the “I’m optimistic and hopeful” times.

Periods of feeling frustrated, and even despondent, are 'par for the course' and allowing those emotions can help: a major part of mind-body/TMS work is allowing yourself to feel your emotions rather than suppress them. Whatever you’re feeling—anger, frustration, sadness, fear—can give you something to work with.

I was very angry and frustrated by my situation, as you can see from this excerpt from my recovery story:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It started with some humble carrots.

I was bedridden again, fed up, angry, frustrated and crying, and then I suddenly decided to ask my husband to bring me a tray of carrots so I could peel them for dinner.

So there I was, lying in bed, sobbing and peeling carrots.

I thought:

“If peeling and chopping carrots is all I can do to get on with ordinary life, then damn it, I’m going to bloody well peel and chop carrots!”

That didn’t magically make me better. But it was part of my recovery. I stopped waiting to feel well before doing something ordinary, and I started taking tiny steps towards life again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So please don’t turn your frustration into something to fear or fix or be particularly disappointed about as it's the way of things. Let yourself be fed up. Feel the anger if it’s there. Then, when you’re ready, do the next small thing—not because you have to prove anything, but because it’s one more way of showing yourself, and your brain, that life is still available to you.

I like this ...

Thanks so much @BloodMoon I really appreciate the reminder. It's advice from the dedicated members of this forum that can help greatly on this journey of discovery. Funnily enough, when i'd finished writing this post last night, I actually got up and felt everything had pretty much subsided...interesting...Then I sat down in the quietness of our lounge with my wife and returned to the "Unlearn your pain" book i've been reading and it was right at the section called 'A Winding Road' talking about how long recovery takes. This was so well timed as it was more perspective I needed to relax into my path.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

I think i'm getting tired of dealing with it to be honest...

It sucks in the moment for sure, that's totally understandable, but it's really trying to push internal transformation emotionally and psychologically. If you can hold that and appreciate that, then this becomes much bigger than the pain, and trust me you'll benefit from such a transformation in a multitude of ways that have nothing to do with the pain, which will improve your life immensely