So THAT'S why I don't want to work for a living

Oh crud, I think I got some of this.

 

I think everyone had a crappy childhood, especially if they gave it a little thought.
I thought mine was normal, average, but doing some journaling I realized it was,
as Steve Ozanich said when he read my post about it, "a perfect storm" for TMSc.

Okay, journaling got me to thinking about my boyhood and that led me to
better understand my parents and older brother and I was able to forgive them
for the stresses they caused me. They did the best they could, and now I am older
I thank them for that.

 

I may be alone in this, but when I read that quote from Maria Bamford, I think of ye ole secondary gain theory about psychosomatic pain--the idea that those of us with chronic pain create it in order to get out of doing something, like full time work. I had some doctors, therapists, friends, and family who had that belief and I found it hurtful. And it was certainly untrue. Even though I had debilitating pain and fatigue for over 20 years, I always supported myself and mostly worked full time during that period.

I think Dr. Sarno said in one of his books that he very rarely ran into a patient who achieved any secondary gain from their TMS--that instead people with TMS were hard working and overly responsible. That has certainly been my experience.

I know this quote is meant entirely in fun, and I'm not objecting to it. I don't want to come off as humorless. It just kind of hits a nerve, and I felt I should state my response to it in case there are others who may feel the same way.

 

I thought there would be some reaction to it, but as stated it's from a comedy act and bears some kernels of truth. As the medical delivery systems in the Western World become increasingly socialized as under Obama care, there will be more and more enabling and primary and secondary gains to be had. I know of several people who were on life-long SSI, were perfectly able to work and did holding several jobs under the table. There are constant informercials on TV for dubious ambulance/couch potato chasing law firms soliciting clients for all sorts of court mandated money give aways. With 92 weeks of unemployment checks available, the current generation has very little work ethic left--surf's up! Free money will continue to gain in popularity as long as the government continues handing out regular checks with no oversight. This will only stop when the ink and the paper to print the money or the plastic for the government issued debit cards--and the last person working, gets fed up, turns off the lights and signs up for the dole too. Whatever you do, don't piss off the farmers!

 

It bothers me too that some people take advantage of welfare programs,
like those who have children they can't afford to raise, just so they can get government money to raise them.
But I don't let it bother me much. They will get repaid some way for their dishonesty.

I think farmers who take government money not to grow crops ought to leave the farm and
go to work like the rest of us.

 

You're right to be bothered Walt, having multiple babies with no means of support has become an income stream for many. Unfortunately I don't think these feral children will be repaying us except with burglaries and robberies. I'm with you on farmers getting paid not to work and or getting paid to grow corn for ethanol that has less energy per gallon output and damages engines. Putting corn into our gas tanks also has the side-effect of taking it out of people's stomachs, driving food costs up and starvation. I dunno', if the gov paid me NOT to play tennis would I take them up on the offer, not sure, maybe I'd take up golf or croquette? Walt, if the gov paid you NOT to write would you take the bail-out?

 

I too am a little unsure of how to take this thread Ellen. I have worked for decades with a lot of pain and now find myself in a situation where I truly don't know if I can work. And I am horrified by the uncertainty of my situation. It feels like walking off a gangplank and not knowing if I can break the ropes and swim. I am hoping to get through the horrible pain and work by adapting a different mindset and I am working very hard on this. Not quite sure how to take this thread. Don't know if it's another thing to add to my list of things that pissed me off or not unch:

 

Ellen, I understand what u mean completely. I wish I could do all the things I used to be able to do including mundane things like cleaning the windows, scrubbing the bathroom tiles & then standing back & admiring it all. Oh how I long for that achy, tired feeling that comes with the satisfaction of a job done well.

Mala

 

I had the same reaction as Forest but I can see the alternative point of view. When I was stuck at home with debilitating migraines it wasn't the secondary gain of being able to take time off from paid employment that kept me there. I wanted to work outside of the home but feared doing this, everything about it like finding childcare to meeting new people. I thought I wouldn't be able to cope. When I finally went back to work full time out of financial necessity the migraines continued but I rarely took a day off work. When I was applying for a different job years later the application required you to state how many sick days you took off over the previous two years. I couldn't remember but knew it was fairly low so I guessed five. My manager was asked the same question when she was writing me a reference. She joked about it with another staff member. I had had two days off in two years. Yes, we TMSers have a tendency to be overconscientious among other things. That's what keeps the symptoms coming.