so confused

[clairem]

pls help me i dont understand what i need to do

do i need to uncover repressed emotions, express supressed emotions, or do i just need to break the fear cycle? or all three? do i see a tms therapist or an ISDTP therapist , or should i just work through some of the online or book recovery programmes?
im so stressed as you can probably tell .

I thought i understood the why it was happening - unconscious rage - but now the thinking seems to be its a distraction technique from percieved threats or learned habit - i guess unconscious rage is still a perceived threat right? i feel like if i dont understand they why's its happening (i dont mean the hows) that im not going to recover :-(

 

[Forest]

Hi Clairem,

Don't worry, you don't have to do all of those things. Just take it one step at a time.

TMS healing, at its heart, is pretty basic. You read the books and they help you overcome the fear of your symptoms. You do some journaling, exploring your childhood and other stressors (perhaps through our free Structured Educational Program), and the insight that results helps you to accept the diagnosis and helps to decrease the tension inside of you that can fuel TMS.

If you can afford it, I think that the best treatment out there is via the Pain Psychology Center. They have licensed therapists who are trained in all of the things like ISTDP and can provide advice that is customized to you personally. I particularly like them because they understand, like Dr. Sarno does, that you don't have to get "too deep psychologically" too early (80% of Dr. Sarno's patients never saw a therapist and I believe that therapists should understand that information and coaching is an important part of the mix). If you can't afford it, as a form of public service, they provide free answers to our visitors via our Ask A TMS Therapist program. Their founder has also uploaded a free TMS Recovery Program that incorporates clips from call-ins with our community.

In general, healing starts with the mind and progresses to the body. There is probably something inside of you that is making you feel stressed and panicky. You want to figure out what that part of you is and find a way to soothe it. Then you want to prove to yourself that you can find joy in your life with or without the pain. Once the pain becomes irrelevant, it can no longer distract you and it subsides.

Click here for additional suggestions.

 

[clairem]

thank you forest . Im just very scared, infact ive been in tears most of the day. I was doing so well, my pain was reduced a huge amount i felt confident i was resuming activities i came off pain meds i was doing well and then a few personal things happened where i felt under pressure and guilty and very stressed aswell as rejected since then pain and in particular anxiety is really cranking up and i feel like im drowing again. So now im panicking thinking maybe there is lots of underlying stuff that im not dealing with etc etc but im guessing the obvious thing is the pressure and guilt i was putting / still putting on myself - pls can you tell me why does the way we treat ourselves, pressure stress for eg cause pain or tms anxiety? is it becuase it wants to distract us from these percieved emotional threats? it thinks that is 'safer'?

im also very scared that every time i get stressed i get pain i think im feeling tension that i have something that means when i get stressed i'll get pain or anxiety

 

[Stef]

I am kind of where you are clairem. I am on day 3 of the Structured Recovery Program (I started with the TMS Recovery program as a Day 0 & got thru it all in 2 days...it was just so fascinating!) but am thinking about doing a Skype session with one of their counselors. I am doing a lot more reading (currently on The Divided Mind & also reading a fabulous book called Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff that really ties in somehow) & it is helping me have faith. In fact I think the title of Dr. Sarno's book is all wrong. I purchased the audio version in case I need a reminder in the car if I am stressed out. Please see attached photo.
I think there is a live chat today at 3pm ET. I am going to check it out right now & will probably hop on that. Chin up my friend...we are so blessed to have a wonderful site like this with so many resources. I myself feel such gratitude.

 

[Zumbafan]

Clairem, I think you worked out that "a few personal things happened where I felt under pressure and guilty". When we feel guilty, we unconsciously punish ourselves with pain to cope. Emotional pain is taboo--physical pain, anxiety, is 'acceptable' in society. Hope that makes sense to you.
It is horrible to feel scared all the time, I have come through that, so you can too. I encourage you with Steve Ozanich's thoughts on anxiety which helped me..." anxiety should never be viewed as an inherent weakness, but rather an out-of-control strength. It takes tremendous strength to never act out rage; to take that energy, to repress it inward where it becomes anxiety---so as not to harm anyone else."
Remember you really are ok.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Clairem. Let me add my assurance as the others have that you will heal and soon.
Lots of people including Forest and myself and others went through the down side of life you feel you are in, and have come up out of it to no pain and new and sunnier perspectives on life. Just about everyone suffers from anxiety, doubt, fear, in this fast, modern age with all of its financial and other pressures.

We are among the lucky ones, for having discovered TMS and the MindBody connection. I added faith in the Lord to my healing and believed it was an essential element. I'm not religious nut, but it gives me great comfort to know that if we ask, we shall receive.

Keep posting and reading posts on this web site and take Forest's advice and start the Structured Educational Program, free in the subforum on this web site. It helps in discovering the emotions causing pain. That helps to healing.

Here's great recent post on how someone healed from TMS:


nowtimecoach Well known member
New

Oh its been so long since I've visited all of you wonderful people - the healed and the healing folks. My life is forever changed as a result of this forum, the books that were suggested, read and discussed and the opportunities to receive support from so many people on the TMS recovery path.

Am I 100% recovered? Not quite but when I have a flare up, its usually been a situation or circumstance that is extremely stressful. Usually a feeling of being trapped and out of control. It depends upon my acceptance of what is and a surrender to self-care that predicates how long the flare up will last. I've had a few instances in the last 2 months as my partner and I decided to sell her house and move to Tucson.

So many changes, deadlines, pressure and lots of "I don't know!" brought up a few bouts. But they rarely last more than a day or two. And because I practiced what everyone suggests on this forum, I always knew what to do and I didn't ruminate or worry that it was going to last long.

I am so eternally grateful to all of you. I am grateful to everyone who has written a book that gives us the solution, the hope and hammers in the fact that we have control over TMS. To all of you in pain today, I promise that you will get better if you keep accepting the psychological component to all of this. I remind myself if I have a flare up that I'm vulnerable to old habits. That vulnerability leaves me open for my brain to pop up its old directive to send pain to my back. Its just an old outdated mechanism of protection that still does not serve me very well.

I hope you read this as a message of hope. Never stop believing that you are going get better! Stay close to the wonderful people on this forum. Read the books. Do the work and you'll be rewarded with a pain free life. For me, I got the bigger bonus of a greater self-awareness, of patterns that I was blind to and a sense of empowerment. All this because of TMS. So it ended up being a gift. Of course, I would NOT be able to say this so cavalierly if I was still in pain 24/7!!!

 

[Forest]

thank you forest . Im just very scared, infact ive been in tears most of the day. I was doing so well, my pain was reduced a huge amount i felt confident i was resuming activities i came off pain meds i was doing well and then a few personal things happened where i felt under pressure and guilty and very stressed aswell as rejected since then pain and in particular anxiety is really cranking up and i feel like im drowing again. So now im panicking thinking maybe there is lots of underlying stuff that im not dealing with etc etc but im guessing the obvious thing is the pressure and guilt i was putting / still putting on myself - pls can you tell me why does the way we treat ourselves, pressure stress for eg cause pain or tms anxiety? is it becuase it wants to distract us from these percieved emotional threats? it thinks that is 'safer'?

im also very scared that every time i get stressed i get pain i think im feeling tension that i have something that means when i get stressed i'll get pain or anxiety

Hi Clairem, don't worry, it's completely natural to be scared. In fact, for many people, the goal of TMS is to scare you. It wants to get your attention and keep you scared. Your long term goal (it may take a while) is to figure out how to not let it do this.

Ups and downs are also completely natural in the healing process. They just happen and the best we can do is just float through them, focusing on keeping a level head. This will help your body via the mind-body connection, but, also, remember that pain is just suffering plus resistance. If you allow the symptoms to pass through your life in their own time, you will suffer far less.

If you're feeling panic or crying a lot, your first priority should be to heal that. If you have trouble, then working with a professional can be very helpful. Even if they aren't trained in TMS, they can help get you in a better space to do the TMS work. If you work with a doctor, they can also double check that you don't have anything serious going on medically - always an important step.