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Sloshing over on others

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Stella, Nov 12, 2012.

  1. Stella

    Stella Well known member

    I now take care of my Mom (86) and Dad (87). Thank goodness they don't live with me. They are in a retirement community. My Mind/Body symptoms went into orbit the last 3 years after moving them here after my Father havd kidney failure, etc. It was horrible. Today we are in a fairly stable situation for them and me.

    I read The Divided Mind approx 5 months ago. I new it was 100% of my problem and have identified the source of my rage. Of course, my parents have a lot to do with this.

    When I became aware early on in the process of the impact of my brothers death I wanted to talk to them about this because I finally new what was causing my pain. I could finally be fixed. Well, of course, I brought up a whole can of worms. They are so sad

    Being the people pleaser that I am especially wanting my parents approval makes me want to fix it. I want to give them a pep talk and reassure them. You were great parents. You just didn't know about grieving. etc. Not sure what I should do except let them know I still love them. Seems like my Mother needs reassurance. I have been their Caretaker all my life. (Where did that personality trait go? It's not on the list)

    In talking with my husband he, too, is thinking about his daughters and the impact of his actions on them during a divorce. They both have mind/body syndromes. He is sad. I have always been extremely responsible. Oh, all the personality traits are activated. Any advice?

    I think I should do nothing and let them take responsibility for themselves.
  2. Enrique

    Enrique Well known member

    Well, here's food for thought... you can only control your own thoughts and actions. You can't make someone else happy. Try compartmentalizing such that when you leave the presence of your parents you aren't worrying about them.
  3. Stella

    Stella Well known member

    I wrote last night about worry and anxiety and how it controls so much of my thinking. Yes, I will do that. Good suggestion.

    After I thought about my above note, I thought it interesting that I wanted to tell them "I could be fixed" like I am defective which is the way I have felt all my life around them. Well, I am NOT defective.
  4. Enrique

    Enrique Well known member

    Yes, you're not defective. Just human like everyone else.

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