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Slight Setback and Pregnancy

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by COgirl05, Sep 12, 2015.

  1. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    I've posted here numerous times and just need an little encouragement. I've been reading the other forum posts and they've been helpful. I'm 7 months pregnant right and and off and on over the past several weeks have been experiencing hip and SI joint pain. I have a 5 year on and off history with SI joint pain, but for the past several years, it's been on the opposite side as I'm feeling now. I'm just wondering if this is a pregnancy thing because I know it's super common to feel this way in pregnancy or if it's TMS? I really go back and forth with it. I'm thinking it's TMS or at least a big component because I'm feeling anxious about this new life change (this is my second child) and everything that comes with having a newborn. Anyways, I'm trying to ease the fear and preoccupation around these symptoms. They really come and go and change sensations and locations all the time. Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be greatly appreciated!
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  2. IndiMarshall

    IndiMarshall Well known member

    Hi COgirl05
    I will tell you what all I have learnt as a recoveree myself.... I am learning many things putting things into practice.

    Even if it is physical injury body would had returned to normal state long ago.. so assume this is TMS but Assumption or belief is not enough.
    Put a fact sheet... if you observe deeply your mind would had played many tricks on you..some days with no pain or for few hrs no pain... if the injury is organic.. it will be there continuously ..so once you prepare this chart .. you will be surprised it is indeed TMS that you are fighting with This is when you develop 100% belief .once your subconscious acknowledges this you will find some pain free moments which I felt.. for few lucky ppl the pain will ease completely..

    2)Love the pain as you are love your baby .. give the care that pain needs.. make it your friend.. first the suffering goes then physical suffering. DO NOT FIGHT THE PAIN.

    3)whatever emotion you work with it all boils down to loving yourself unconditonally. Accept the situation as it is. acknowledge it and say to brain..yes I got the message in form of pain. and say we will get better each day..

    4)Once you practice these sometimes pain increases by 10 folds ..you will think your psychological plan is not working ..but indeed it is working its testing you... laugh at it..you will observe symptom imperative and again laugh it.. the other day I found some breakthrough.. next morning I had headache which I never had in years lolll
    evntually your brain wil start supporting you ..if dont belong to that final 20% category

    5)Dont block the truth ... i.e love every part and personality of yourself.. body will return to his wholness..

    these are just few points of golden words spoken here.. although it didn't make much meaning to me earlier.. am now able to understand this.. hope you too find useful. I have many more points noted down..which I read when I am down..and I saw my pain vanish for few hrs..which is making me believe in this TMS spiritual journey of finding yourself..

    Good luck with your pregnancy

    Reach out for ppl through PM..they are incredibly helpful.. some may not reply here due to thier busy schedule but the wealth of konwledge is something you should not miss.. which even HBP didnt explain.. some times you learn more from a patient than the doctor himself
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2015
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  3. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    I expect it's both COgirl!

    Mind you, I've never been pregnant, but it totally makes sense to me that a common physical condition of pregnancy (such as pressure on this area of the body?) becomes pain in women who are more prone to TMS symptoms than others. The fact that you've had this pain before, but now it's on the other side(!), sounds like typical sneaky TMS behavior.

    I say "more prone than others" because the brain process that creates TMS symptoms is universal to all humans. It evolved as some sort of survival mechanism, designed to keep us alert in a very dangerous primitive world. It doesn't serve us or even make sense in the modern world, but the process is still going on.

    Indi gave you some good advice there, and you are working on calming your brain, which is very helpful. If you can get past the negative and worrying chatter in your head, you will have a better chance of accessing the emotions that your brain is trying to repress. Your brain thinks they are too dangerous for you to face, but you have more strength and knowledge than your primitive ancestors, so have at them!
    SunnyinFL and mike2014 like this.
  4. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I think Forest, hit the nail on the head with another post. TMS healing is about getting your "head right".

    Try and adopt mindfulness meditation into your routine, if you don't find it too overwhelming. It will not only help you focuss and be aware of your thoughts without passing judgement. But sometimes thinking rationale can help us move into a positive space where healing is possible.

    Finally, be kind, loving and gentle to yourself and try focus on all of the positive things in your life.
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  5. SunnyinFL

    SunnyinFL Well known member

    Hi COgirl!

    It's so good to hear from you! Thanks for letting us all know how you're doing. I remember your previous post, about a month ago, when you had some similar concerns - along with some questions about continuing to run and the pressure society puts on women to be in shape. I'm so glad that you reached out again when you felt a need for a little encouragement.

    I like what the other posts have said, and like JanA, think you could very well be experiencing a mix of good old TMS along with changes resulting from your pregnancy. In addition, I've tried to think about what it must feel like to be in your shoes, also knowing how we TMSers tend to think. We all tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves, and I can imagine how this would feel even more complicated as you go through the inevitable changes of pregnancy and look ahead to the joys - and challenges - of parenting two children.

    It often seems to me that society tends to glamorize being pregnant and the joys of parenting. It seems to me that it is more helpful to recognize the truth: nothing is ever that one-sided. For example, it's amazing how a human body knows how to create and give birth to new life; but it's also be scary to see your body take on a life of its own and change, along with inevitable aches and pains and discomfort. As another example, everyone congratulates new parents and it is "supposed" to be a time of joy; but, there's also sleepless nights, crying to attend to, dirty diapers, etc. There will be both ups and downs.

    And, while you will become the caring mother of two, who will nurture and comfort and take care of you? Please try to nurture yourself as much as possible during your final two months of pregnancy, and maybe come up with some ideas for how you can take care of yourself after your newborn arrives.

    Your post mentions some anxiety about the changes that a second child, and caring for a newborn, will bring. Those are real concerns that are shared by many. Maybe it might be possible to think about the changes that are about to occur and see if you can come up with some practical solutions to relieve some of the anxiety. For example, what support do you need before and after giving birth? Would it help to tell people close to you what would be helpful - or not helpful - to you? Do you need to plan for a friend or relative to visit and help, or do you need to draw some boundary lines for your own need for privacy and time to recover? In short, please think about what you might need, or might need to do, to navigate the changes as smoothly as possible.

    All the feelings you've shared make sense. So, please try not to worry too much about the symptoms and try to take extra-good care of yourself! Sunny
    JanAtheCPA and mike2014 like this.
  6. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Cogirl. I agree that your pain which is moving around is both from pregnancy and TMS concerns about having a second child and the responsibility that involves. Take good care of yourself and try to relax. Live in the present moment and enjoy life, but also think ahead to how much joy the new child is going to bring to you. Distract yourself from worry by doing things to prepare for the new darling. Maybe wives years ago knew something they don't today when they knitted booties and caps for their new arrivals. It kept them busy and their minds focused on he joys of motherhood.

    A friend's father kept his mind off his financial worries and back aches by crocheting. He was a big man, like a wrestler, but crocheting, normally considered a feminine thing, relaxed him.

    You don't have to learn to knit or crochet. You could start gathering things for the newcomer. Maybe go online to eBay and see what infant clothes and toys are available for just a few dollars. Or get your first child's baby things ready for the new baby. In any case, enjoy the new blessed event.

    All this wonderful advice not from a woman, but from a man. And he's not even pregnant. haha
    mike2014 likes this.
  7. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi COgirl05, My young assistant just had her second child and as I spent a lot of time with her in close quarters this last year, I was often reminded of my own pregnancies. I had morning sickness and all kinds of pains... Seems like yesterday! (and my last one was almost 15 years ago). There is just so much going on when you are pregnant and I am sure if you apply all the techniques you have learned in TMS recovery, it will only help. Even if the SI joint pain is aggravated by your pregnancy, there is not a whole lot to do at this point but get through it. Now that I am going through menopause, it is often difficult for me to determine what is TMS and what might be hormonal. But either way, taking good care of myself, paying attention to how I am feeling in the moment, is a good prescription for either one. I just had lunch with a really good friend that I haven't seen in a while. We had our children about the same time and I remember so well when she called me from a park shortly after having her third baby. She was crying and unsure how she was going to manage it all. Now her daughter is off to college and her boys are in high school and doing great. Its really natural to feel all the pressure and overwhelm of trying to juggle it all while having children. You will do just fine and I am sure these pains will pass soon if you don't give them too much focus and attention. Anxiety is so uncomfortable and it is a TMS equivalent. Try not to resist it, accept it is there, and give yourself time to do some things that are soothing. For me, that is getting enough sleep, taking a bath, getting out in nature and being with friends.
    COgirl05, SunnyinFL and JanAtheCPA like this.
  8. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    Thanks everyone for all your responses. Since I wrote that, I've had some good days and now since yesterday, I'm having another relapse. This one is probably the worst yet. I think I'm having unconscious anxiety about life when the baby comes, how to manage everything, the lack of sleep, going back to work, etc. that I never realized how much. I also think it's gotten worse because of my doubt that it's TMS because of the pregnancy. I have noticed myself becoming more and more preoccupied, fearful and negative thoughts about "what if this pain never leaves" creeping back in. I worked really hard for the past 6 months to stop all that and now the pain switched sides. With all the fear and preoccupation, I'm thinking its TMS trying to trick me again. I'm still wondering if I should push through it like I did when I wasn't pregnant and the original pain subsided or if I should rest and "baby" it like they say to do for pregnancy. I do notice it a whole lot more the past two days when I do a lot of movement. Thoughts?
  9. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Frustrating and scary, COgirl, I'm sorry.

    I wonder if the one who needs babying is your own inner child? I know you're already a mother, but your inner child might still be objecting to the fact of yet another responsibility, which will force you to remain grown up, and force you to be the one who provides nurturing, rather than being the one who is nurtured.

    You might do some journaling about your true, honest, innermost fears and resentments. You know they're there, but there's a difference between knowing about them intellectually, vs. feeling the emotions of the little child inside you who is really raging at this disruption. And it's a BIG disruption.

    Today I wrote elsewhere about the four existential issues of humans. They are Freedom, Isolation, Meaning, and Mortality. I often forget about these, which is too bad, because I think that understanding them is invaluable for getting through major life stresses (in my case, three serious losses over a period of two years).

    Having a child is a major life stress, and obviously Freedom (ie, lack of it) is a huge issue. You have to decide which of the others might also be issues, but I can see it being all four of them. Isolation could be an issue along with Freedom, if you are worried about being left alone with a new baby as well as your first child while the rest of your friends and family go back to their normal routines. Mortality and Meaning - you have to decide for yourself, but I suppose I would be worried about mortality on many different levels. For example, that fact that we hope to escape our own mortality by having children. Or that even in this day and age there's got to be some fear about childbirth. And Meaning - well, society tells us that having a baby is the most meaningful thing you can do - but if you're being honest with yourself, your inner child is perhaps not so sure about that.

    I'm not suggesting anything that your unconscious brain hasn't already thought about and then repressed, so you might as well get it all out in the open! Facing, acknowledging and accepting your fears, doubts, and scary or ugly emotions, and then accepting and loving yourself with all of your (totally normal) fears and doubts and ugly emotions, is what will bring you relief.

    Finally - please do this on paper. Thinking about this stuff is simply not as powerful as forcing yourself to write it down in all its negative glory. You don't have to keep it, feel free to shred it.

    And when you've accomplished this, give your inner child some nurturing and some comfort and a whole lotta love.
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  10. COgirl05

    COgirl05 Peer Supporter

    Thanks JanAtheCPA. I just got done writing a list of everything in life that I'm either angry, resentful or worried/fearful about and it filled 2.5 pages. I think I found the culprit(s). Now, I'm having much more faith that this is TMS and not pregnancy. The pain really has moved around to various places in my pelvis/low back and changed sensations almost daily. I'm fairly certain my inner child is freaking out as I know even my conscious is nervous and worried about the upcoming changes. I hope that the journaling and avoidance of fear of the pain is enough to get me through this because the circumstances certainly aren't changing.
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  11. Anna1

    Anna1 Peer Supporter

    Thank you everyone for this perfect thread. I am going through the same thing. I have been painfree all my pregnancy, and now, in week 34 I experience hip pain. The same hip pain that I have conquered using TMS strategy. I know the baby has dropped lower in my pelvis, so I almost bought it as an actual pregnancy-pain. But then I realized it must be TMS and went online.

    It is in exactly this week that I feel strongly that I don't want to do anything but relax, buy stuff for the baby and be creative. I am done having to do stuff. But we are still in the process of redecorating and reorganizing the house and my husband is working on that very hard. I am used to work hard myself too and I usually like it. But right now I feel like "crocheting and knitting". Not literally, but figurally. Doing nothing but think about the baby's arrival, take care of myself, cook, clean, relax, take walks, read. But I don't feel the rest for it. And that pisses me off. Hence, TMS...? Of course!

    After this wonderful thread I realize I need to give in to the urge to relax and let my husband do the hard work. Ouch, that is difficult. I always feel the need to compensate. But it means a lot to realize this... At least i know for sure this pain is TMS. I will not accept it as a serious problem, will repeat the 12 principles and start take even better care of myself and the baby!

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