Since the pelvis isn't working anymore, my brain is after my feet

Long time, no see, TMSWiki! And it is not a shame to see you again! I am quite excited to come back and update on how things are going in my healing.

Currently I am going through what I believe to be another extinction burst/symptom imperative. If you read through my past posts, you will find that pelvic floor issues have been my brand of TMS for some time now and you will see a range of posts evolving from absolutely petrified to calm and unbothered. It has been quite the ride. And though I am still experiencing symptoms, I can honestly say that my pelvic floor and other symptoms do not cause me any fear any longer. I have had so many tests done, so many checks done, and so many doctor's telling me that I am fine that after a while, I began to believe them (especially after discovering Dr. Sarno and Alan Gordon). I have completely lost my fear and it is so cool to reach this point now because I had sworn that I was at this point months ago, but alas, I wasn't quite there yet.

- I am completely used to/and unbothered by symptoms being present.
- I am aware of how intense they can get and am not afraid of flares anymore.
- I don't scan my body for symptoms anymore.
- I am not preoccupied by my body or symptoms anymore.
- I started going out with friends and being more engaged in building connections and doing what I wanted despite symptoms being present.

And so on!

Now, I am back to trying to get more exercise in my daily routine and wouldn't you know? My brain has ramped things up to scare me. I think this is the final test, if I am no longer afraid of movement and working out, my TMS brain loses ALL the control it has left over me. I started doing light strength training and running over the past two weeks and my weird pelvic sensations increased dramatically, but in being so used to them, I was able to brush them aside and not care if they were there or not. When that didn't atop me from working out, my scalp began to itch like crazy in random spots, so it was now pelvic sensations + scalp itching. I persevered and kept with my routine. I was never a runner but I always wanted to be so I have been focused on building my stamina to be a good runner and guess what? OUT OF THE BLUE, the last two toes on my left foot feel like they should be swollen and red because they ITCH so much like I have athletes foot, but there's nothing visibly there! Pelvic itch/sensations + scalp itching + phantom athlete's foot = brain freaking out. TMS can sometimes be quite a funny thing when you're getting closer and closer to being recovered from it. As I speak right now, my foot is starting to itch again and so is my scalp. It feels so dramatic and so severe but when I look everything looks normal. It truly is fascinating how this works.

I know this is happening due to a combo of work stress, starting EMDR with my therapist and moving on with my life from fearing my TMS. I am going to win this marathon. The time it takes to reach the finish line, does not matter, but I will get there!

 

Oh, I forgot to add that my inner ears are also itching more as well. Nothing wrong with them. They just itch at random and will alternate back and forth. So, pelvic itch/sensations + scalp itch + foot itch + inner ear itch. lol. Evidently my brain is like “pelvic itch used to scare her a lot so let’s make everything itch!” Whatever you want to do brain.